Several posts ago, I wrote about our friends young daughter, Joy, who had been diagnosed with a rare form of kidney cancer at the very tender age of 6 months!! Over the last 2 1/2 months, baby Joy and her loving parents, Fred and Ethel, have endured chemo treatments every three weeks( I believe that time frame is correct) at the local children's hospital.
On the third Monday of the month, Joy and her Daddy make the hour and a half trek to the local children's hospital around mid morning. Since Joy's Daddy is one of many in our state right now without work, he is her primary care giver while her mommy works to maintain her full time job as well as here sanity. They begin in triage with some blood work, then they move the pair to a room where they begin her first injection of chemo mid afternoon. Joy's mommy makes the exhausting two hour drive from her work during rush hour traffic to the hospital that is their home for three days each month. Praise the Lord, Ethel's employer is kind during this crazy time in her family's lives and allows her to work from the hospital if necessary or not at all while her little girl is in the hospital each month.
This week was Joy's third or fourth round of chemo, which was moved around a bit due to the Christmas holiday. God has blessed Joy during this time with little sickness, she may not want to eat alot after her treatments and her hair is thinning, but she has not been unbearably sick. Quite the opposite, from what I am told. She gives smiles to the nursing staff and doctors often and laughs out loud when her Grandma imitates Elmo.
So, this week when the phone rang Saturday at Fred and Ethel's home, they were use to the phone number from the local children's hospital appearing. On this day, it was one of baby Joy's team of doctors to tell the little family that there is no sign of any further cancer in the baby's little body!! GONE!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!
The inflection can only be described in Fred's voice as relieved as he called our home Saturday afternoon.And thankful to the Creator and Savior for healing their little girl.
Amazing Grace, is all that kept ringing in my ears as my husband retold the story to me, as I cried in awareness of God's greatness.
Yet another gift we have seen this Christmas season that can not be bought in stores. Yet, the best gift that they could have been given apart from their individual salvation's.
I am amazed as I sit back and allow God to teach me that Christmas is not about the material things, as society would have us to believe. It is about the gift that came that day, a baby, who was laid in a manger who grew to be a man, that died on a cross but still lives inside each and everyone of us if we will allow Him too.
God has been good this season, even with the loss of Rod's job and the uncertainty of our financial future. However, there is a passage in the bible that says it all: Weeping may endure for a night but Joy cometh in the morning!!!!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Month 10
I began on November 29th, month number ten of being a post-op gastric bypass patient. It has being a great ride, and I am eagerly anticipating arriving at my goal weight. I ended month number nine, at 207. On October 29th, I was 215; which is a net loss for that month of 8 pounds. Which is good, considering my weight loss has slowed dramatically! As of today, I am 205 and atttempting to reach Onederland by Christmas, which will be my christmas gift to myself! I can not remember the last time I weighed under 200 pounds, and I am really looking forward to it. With all of life's activities, I forgot to take a picture to add to by collection of progression pictures so I will use the ones from Korbins Birthday (which was the 18th- so it is a 10 day difference). Yesterday, I went to the gym and had a really good work out. I did 25 mintues on the treadmill, 10 minutes rowing which I am trying to build myself up to do a full thirty minutes, and 17 minutes on the stationary bike where I rode for 5 miles. I did a few of the weight machines, and I came home just as exhausted as I left. See, I am trying to build my stamina to reduce my fatigue while working extra hours at work right now. However, it is gonna take a week or so for my body to catch up until then I will suffer extreme exhaustion and I am just praying for God's grace to make it through. Today, I am gonna do my Lesily Sansone walking dvd, for 2 miles. I have already worked for 2 hours this morning,and after my dvd and some lunch I will head back for another 7 hour shift at another home until 8pm tonight. I will get back home just in time to put Korbin to bed. These days are long, rising before 5am and getting to bed after 11pm, but I am thankful that God has given me a job to supplement my income. I know His grace will be sufficient for me/us and He will give me the physical strength to endure. As for now, I am gonna go play trains with my boy while I have a moment!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Crisis of Faith
I refuse to let our current job statis, with Rod being without work, be a crisis of Faith!! I am battling the emotional, up hill battle that this christmas this year will be so different for us than in years past. I look at the news paper ads or see the t.v. commercials, and realize that there is no money for the things that they offer. I immediantly become sad and disheartend, why did this have to happen to us? Yet, I am trying to train my brain to catch up with my heart and stay focused on the big picture of God's mercy, grace and love.
I do not need a bunch of packages under the christmas tree to celebrate the birth of Christ! At this point, our daily needs are being met( by the grace of God, I might add) and for that I should be thankful. And my heart is! It rejoices in the morning's with David as I read the Psalms as he proclaims God's greatness and sovernity. It listens to Paul speak to the churches of the New Testament as he lovingly rebukes them in order to bring them closer to christ likeness. It is over whelmed with the story of John Newton, the man who wrote the lyrics of the world renoun Amazing Grace whose story is just that of God's amazing, saving grace.
Unfortunately, it is taking awhile for my mind to catch up to what my heart is saying. As loudly as it beats in my ears after a long run, it is saying: God loves you! He will provide for you!! Trust in Him!! Have Faith in Him!!
I really believe the the devil is trying the same thing with me as he does with Job in the Old Testament, who's body is badly afflicted with boils and he is sitting outside scraping them with a stick. Then his wife comes to him and asks him to "Curse God and Die". He is trying to get me to be angry with God. Or trying to get me to be so angry at Rod's former boss that I sin against God. Unfortunately, for Job it gets worse before it gets better. I am praying that it does not get worse before it gets better for us, but it did indeed get better for Job. Because he did not sin against God, God restored him double.
The only thing I am looking for at this point, is double the faith. I do not want our personal financial crisis to become a crisis of faith. Instead, I would hope to grow stronger and closer to my savior and my husband through this situation. I know that christmas is not about the packages under the tree, but about the one who was born to be hung and die on a tree. I think the thing that is fighting me most is that I had such expectations of an enjoyable christmas, me being a new person both inside and out.
Now, the manifestation I have gone through this past year will be put to the test this christmas to celebrate joyfully without sorrow instead being bought in a store and wrapped with a bow. Maybe that is the gift, in and of it's self. And I like, the Jewish rulers of the day, missed it. I was looking for a grand, expensive gift with a large bow and instead I got the gift that lives within my heart that cost more than money can buy but never wore a bow at all but a cross instead.
Thank you Jesus, for being my gift this season. May I never take you for granted nor put you on a shelf. But allow you to live within me and use my life as your own so that I may give your gift of love and sacrifice to another that they may celebrate this christmas with an eternal gift that moths and thieves will never corupt just as you so freely gave to me!"
I do not need a bunch of packages under the christmas tree to celebrate the birth of Christ! At this point, our daily needs are being met( by the grace of God, I might add) and for that I should be thankful. And my heart is! It rejoices in the morning's with David as I read the Psalms as he proclaims God's greatness and sovernity. It listens to Paul speak to the churches of the New Testament as he lovingly rebukes them in order to bring them closer to christ likeness. It is over whelmed with the story of John Newton, the man who wrote the lyrics of the world renoun Amazing Grace whose story is just that of God's amazing, saving grace.
Unfortunately, it is taking awhile for my mind to catch up to what my heart is saying. As loudly as it beats in my ears after a long run, it is saying: God loves you! He will provide for you!! Trust in Him!! Have Faith in Him!!
I really believe the the devil is trying the same thing with me as he does with Job in the Old Testament, who's body is badly afflicted with boils and he is sitting outside scraping them with a stick. Then his wife comes to him and asks him to "Curse God and Die". He is trying to get me to be angry with God. Or trying to get me to be so angry at Rod's former boss that I sin against God. Unfortunately, for Job it gets worse before it gets better. I am praying that it does not get worse before it gets better for us, but it did indeed get better for Job. Because he did not sin against God, God restored him double.
The only thing I am looking for at this point, is double the faith. I do not want our personal financial crisis to become a crisis of faith. Instead, I would hope to grow stronger and closer to my savior and my husband through this situation. I know that christmas is not about the packages under the tree, but about the one who was born to be hung and die on a tree. I think the thing that is fighting me most is that I had such expectations of an enjoyable christmas, me being a new person both inside and out.
Now, the manifestation I have gone through this past year will be put to the test this christmas to celebrate joyfully without sorrow instead being bought in a store and wrapped with a bow. Maybe that is the gift, in and of it's self. And I like, the Jewish rulers of the day, missed it. I was looking for a grand, expensive gift with a large bow and instead I got the gift that lives within my heart that cost more than money can buy but never wore a bow at all but a cross instead.
Thank you Jesus, for being my gift this season. May I never take you for granted nor put you on a shelf. But allow you to live within me and use my life as your own so that I may give your gift of love and sacrifice to another that they may celebrate this christmas with an eternal gift that moths and thieves will never corupt just as you so freely gave to me!"
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Merry Christmas???
Christmas is without a doubt my favorite time of year. Even during the horrible times, like the year when my grandfather passed away on December 23 and was buried on my 16th birthday or the first Christmas after my mom died. Some how I was able to bounce back, if you will, and celebrate the ultimate gift of the Messiah's birth.
I love the smell of baking cookies, sweet smelling candles and lights glistening against the white snow. You can hear the message of Jesus Christ in the songs on the radio, the kindness of strangers and pageants, plays and cantata's at our churches. I liken it as a cat to catnip as I get an itch to begin my Christmas shopping in late October and begin making my lists of baking, crafts and other fun things to do with Korbin.
And as 2008 began on such a high note for me with the answer to the prayer of having my gastric bypass, I foolishly thought that this Christmas would be the climax to a wonderful year. However, that is just not the case as we begin the month of December with my husband unemployed and looking for another job. On Monday, December 1 after he put in yet another twelve hour day at his former company he was called into a meeting where he was told that his company is unable to pay his pay check any longer and discontinued his employment. Deflated and disheartened, my wonderful husband drove an hour and a half home to inform Korbin and I that he no longer had means to financially provide for our family.
He was sad, and I was enraged!!! Twenty four stinking days prior to Christmas, he was laid off by an employer who claimed to care for his employee's, which is what the CEO and Rod's direct boss told me over and over again when I called his office on the hour when Rod was in the hospital in September. The wording that rings in my ears over and over again is his boss's voice saying " Don't worry Mrs. B**** we are a family here and we take care of each other!" If this is his idea of taking care of each other, discontinuing a man's employment with a wife and a small child right before Christmas, I would hate to see what he does for people he does not want to take care off.
I want to yell, scream, and curse evilness upon his company and this man's head. Yet, as mad as I am, I can not seem to do anything but feel anything but sadness for us and for him and his company. Rod wishes him nothing but personal and professional success. That shows extreme Christan growth on my husbands part, because as for me I am more than mad at how this man and his company took advantage of and disrespected the man I gave my love and my life too.
In the middle of this turmoil in our country as we face an economic crisis, and the uncertainty that we face to determine if we can make ends meat or not, I have a peace in the depths of my soul that does not make sense to my head but makes my heart breathe a sigh of relief. It is the same peace that I have been missing in recent months, but experience to the innth degree proceeding my wls.
I know that I serve an Amazing God that is prayer hearing and prayer answering to those who serve Him with their lives by giving their hearts to His son Jesus Christs who bore our sins upon the cross of Calvary.
So, in knowing this, I know also that this did not happen without God allowing it and having a plan for it. However, as much as I know that digesting what this means is what I am having the problem with.
This means, foregoing the climactic Christmas I had been anticipating celebrating for the first time in years. I had searched high and low for the items on Korbins Christmas list looking forwaed to his happy response on Christmas morning and excitedly anticipated receiving clothes for Christmas that I could actually put on and wear for the first time since I was in high school or buy a new dress to wear to chruch. Or receiving the bracelet or anniversary band I had been hinting around at getting for the last 3 years. To go beyond that, even enjoying my birthday, which is two days after christmas, for the first time since I lost my grandfather 16 years ago.
Sigh.. those things were not to meant to happen this year, this year I guess. However, it is not going to detour me or my family from celebrating the greatest gift ever given to mankind; the Christ child.
Each year I decorate our Christmas tree in red and white to remind us of the purity of that baby born in a manger. With the red to show us that they baby grew up to be a man who came to save his people for their sins ans shed his life's blood on the cross of Calvary for you and for me. Regardless of what or what not is under that tree, those two facts still remain. And those are causes for celebration!!
I love the smell of baking cookies, sweet smelling candles and lights glistening against the white snow. You can hear the message of Jesus Christ in the songs on the radio, the kindness of strangers and pageants, plays and cantata's at our churches. I liken it as a cat to catnip as I get an itch to begin my Christmas shopping in late October and begin making my lists of baking, crafts and other fun things to do with Korbin.
And as 2008 began on such a high note for me with the answer to the prayer of having my gastric bypass, I foolishly thought that this Christmas would be the climax to a wonderful year. However, that is just not the case as we begin the month of December with my husband unemployed and looking for another job. On Monday, December 1 after he put in yet another twelve hour day at his former company he was called into a meeting where he was told that his company is unable to pay his pay check any longer and discontinued his employment. Deflated and disheartened, my wonderful husband drove an hour and a half home to inform Korbin and I that he no longer had means to financially provide for our family.
He was sad, and I was enraged!!! Twenty four stinking days prior to Christmas, he was laid off by an employer who claimed to care for his employee's, which is what the CEO and Rod's direct boss told me over and over again when I called his office on the hour when Rod was in the hospital in September. The wording that rings in my ears over and over again is his boss's voice saying " Don't worry Mrs. B**** we are a family here and we take care of each other!" If this is his idea of taking care of each other, discontinuing a man's employment with a wife and a small child right before Christmas, I would hate to see what he does for people he does not want to take care off.
I want to yell, scream, and curse evilness upon his company and this man's head. Yet, as mad as I am, I can not seem to do anything but feel anything but sadness for us and for him and his company. Rod wishes him nothing but personal and professional success. That shows extreme Christan growth on my husbands part, because as for me I am more than mad at how this man and his company took advantage of and disrespected the man I gave my love and my life too.
In the middle of this turmoil in our country as we face an economic crisis, and the uncertainty that we face to determine if we can make ends meat or not, I have a peace in the depths of my soul that does not make sense to my head but makes my heart breathe a sigh of relief. It is the same peace that I have been missing in recent months, but experience to the innth degree proceeding my wls.
I know that I serve an Amazing God that is prayer hearing and prayer answering to those who serve Him with their lives by giving their hearts to His son Jesus Christs who bore our sins upon the cross of Calvary.
So, in knowing this, I know also that this did not happen without God allowing it and having a plan for it. However, as much as I know that digesting what this means is what I am having the problem with.
This means, foregoing the climactic Christmas I had been anticipating celebrating for the first time in years. I had searched high and low for the items on Korbins Christmas list looking forwaed to his happy response on Christmas morning and excitedly anticipated receiving clothes for Christmas that I could actually put on and wear for the first time since I was in high school or buy a new dress to wear to chruch. Or receiving the bracelet or anniversary band I had been hinting around at getting for the last 3 years. To go beyond that, even enjoying my birthday, which is two days after christmas, for the first time since I lost my grandfather 16 years ago.
Sigh.. those things were not to meant to happen this year, this year I guess. However, it is not going to detour me or my family from celebrating the greatest gift ever given to mankind; the Christ child.
Each year I decorate our Christmas tree in red and white to remind us of the purity of that baby born in a manger. With the red to show us that they baby grew up to be a man who came to save his people for their sins ans shed his life's blood on the cross of Calvary for you and for me. Regardless of what or what not is under that tree, those two facts still remain. And those are causes for celebration!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
School..Again??
Last semester, I enrolled at a local college to attempt to finish my degree...in what was the question. I prayed about it for a long time, then through that prayer God spoke to my heart and told me it just was not the right time in our lives.
This college wanted me to enroll in a Physical Therapy Assistant (PTA) program, which is what I registered under but just didn't "feel" it. All I kept saying was I just really want my nursing degree!!!
Right after my mom died, and I came home from the 4 year college where I was living on campus & attending, I took some classes at a local community college to try and stay on track to finish my degree. So randomly today, I got on thier website to see what it would take for me to finish my education.
I was plesantly surprised, as I checked out there online classes to see that ALL of the prereq's I would need are listed online. To further aid in my joy, there are several classes I had already taken are listed on the prereq's for the associate in nursing degree, which means that if I were to enroll there in the winter, I could take those prereq's from home as online classes, then the core nursing classes are listed as day/evening/week-end classes.
This flexable class schedule would enable me to finish my degree; according my calculations, in 18 months!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, I am back to praying again. Is this the right time in ourlives? I feel this sense of urgency to get this degree done so that it can stop looming over my head. There are just so many more things that play into this decision now that I am a mommy and wife.
To further complicate this decision, we really want to have more babies. However, it would be more complicated that it is right now to continue my education with more babies. Yet, with me finishing at a community college my credits are still good for three years( for science classes), so that I could stop when we have another child then start again when I/we are ready with a timing penalty.
It is our strong desire to send our children to a christain school. It is my belief that I will need to work to help pay that tution. And it is my question, that if I am gonna work part time, I should make enough to afford something other than the gas to get there and the car payment!!!
I am praying that God will just make himself evident in this decision and provide away, if it is His will.
This college wanted me to enroll in a Physical Therapy Assistant (PTA) program, which is what I registered under but just didn't "feel" it. All I kept saying was I just really want my nursing degree!!!
Right after my mom died, and I came home from the 4 year college where I was living on campus & attending, I took some classes at a local community college to try and stay on track to finish my degree. So randomly today, I got on thier website to see what it would take for me to finish my education.
I was plesantly surprised, as I checked out there online classes to see that ALL of the prereq's I would need are listed online. To further aid in my joy, there are several classes I had already taken are listed on the prereq's for the associate in nursing degree, which means that if I were to enroll there in the winter, I could take those prereq's from home as online classes, then the core nursing classes are listed as day/evening/week-end classes.
This flexable class schedule would enable me to finish my degree; according my calculations, in 18 months!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, I am back to praying again. Is this the right time in ourlives? I feel this sense of urgency to get this degree done so that it can stop looming over my head. There are just so many more things that play into this decision now that I am a mommy and wife.
To further complicate this decision, we really want to have more babies. However, it would be more complicated that it is right now to continue my education with more babies. Yet, with me finishing at a community college my credits are still good for three years( for science classes), so that I could stop when we have another child then start again when I/we are ready with a timing penalty.
It is our strong desire to send our children to a christain school. It is my belief that I will need to work to help pay that tution. And it is my question, that if I am gonna work part time, I should make enough to afford something other than the gas to get there and the car payment!!!
I am praying that God will just make himself evident in this decision and provide away, if it is His will.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Lost Turkeys
The average turkey that Americana's buy for Thanksgiving is 22 pounds. Since Dec. 6, 2007 I have lost 172 pounds, and if I put that in thanksgiving terminology, I have lost 7.81 turkey's!!! Could you imagine lining that many turkey's up on the counter and then trying to affix them to my body to carry around!!!!!!! Ahhh?!?!?! No wonder my knee's hurt and my back ached, and I was tired and lethargic all of the time?
I love it when my weight loss and life style change really comes down to everyday life for me, it really shows me how I have changed my life and what I have worked for.
I love it when my weight loss and life style change really comes down to everyday life for me, it really shows me how I have changed my life and what I have worked for.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Godly Contentment
Goals. We all got'em, for the last 10 months, mine have revolved around the scale. What is says but what it doesn't say speaks so much more to me. For some reason seeing that scale go down has given me validation, both with myself and others.
I have watched the scale go down from 379 pounds to 207 pounds, sometimes it goes strait down and other times toggling back and forth for a couple of days or so. I have stayed on a strict diet for weeks at a time and others, I have gotten off track for what seems like forever.
But now matter what numerals appear on my digital scale, I still feel as if I am in limbo, waitting for something else to happen.
God's word speaks about contenment in 21 different verses, yet I have found none. And I do not know where this feeling of falling and never reaching the bottom stems from.
Each day, all of my basic needs are met- I have a warm home, clothes to put on and food to put in my stomach. Beyond that I have a great God to go too with what ever situation ales me at the moment. He is " a friend that sticks closer than a brother" in a variety of ways. However, I constantly sit waitting for the other shoe to fall.
Through out this year, I have found that peace from within that I have so often sought after in food without it. Again, it seems as if that unquenchable hunger has returned and I am left shaking my head in wonder as to why.
Is it the time of year that it is?
Is it the continual uncertainty of my husbands job?
Is it the decision as to when to move and where to live?
Is it the right time to have other children or not?
Is it the right time for me to go back to school or not?
These are a few of the questions I wrestle with on a daily basis.
Strangely enough, I never completely give these nagging situations over to the Lord as I know that I should.
My heart tells me to give my problems and concerns to the Master Decision Make of my life, and allow Him to work in ways in which I can not. However,it seems as if day by day I am constantly challenged to handle these decisions myself.
Hebrews 13:5 says Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” or Proverbs 3:5 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart and Lean not unto your own understanding. In reading these verses and knowing and understanding them, am I being the person that God wants me to be in being discontent and leaning on my own understanding??
Another question to wrestle with.
I guess the bigger question is to be asking myself is why has this discontment reared it's ugly head and how do I get back to the sense of peace I had only months ago?
I know the answer to this, for it is my life's verse:Phillippians 4:6-7 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Lord God, I ask through prayer and supplication in the earnest seeking of your word and in thanksgiving of the great gifts you have already bestowed upon me according to your riches in heaven that you will help me not to lean on my own understanding but thine will be done and that you will restore my inner peace and my focus on those things Godly and Good. Help me to guard my heart and mind against the enemy being annxious for nothing, and to think and act upon those things that are pure and lovely.Amen.
I have watched the scale go down from 379 pounds to 207 pounds, sometimes it goes strait down and other times toggling back and forth for a couple of days or so. I have stayed on a strict diet for weeks at a time and others, I have gotten off track for what seems like forever.
But now matter what numerals appear on my digital scale, I still feel as if I am in limbo, waitting for something else to happen.
God's word speaks about contenment in 21 different verses, yet I have found none. And I do not know where this feeling of falling and never reaching the bottom stems from.
Each day, all of my basic needs are met- I have a warm home, clothes to put on and food to put in my stomach. Beyond that I have a great God to go too with what ever situation ales me at the moment. He is " a friend that sticks closer than a brother" in a variety of ways. However, I constantly sit waitting for the other shoe to fall.
Through out this year, I have found that peace from within that I have so often sought after in food without it. Again, it seems as if that unquenchable hunger has returned and I am left shaking my head in wonder as to why.
Is it the time of year that it is?
Is it the continual uncertainty of my husbands job?
Is it the decision as to when to move and where to live?
Is it the right time to have other children or not?
Is it the right time for me to go back to school or not?
These are a few of the questions I wrestle with on a daily basis.
Strangely enough, I never completely give these nagging situations over to the Lord as I know that I should.
My heart tells me to give my problems and concerns to the Master Decision Make of my life, and allow Him to work in ways in which I can not. However,it seems as if day by day I am constantly challenged to handle these decisions myself.
Hebrews 13:5 says Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” or Proverbs 3:5 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart and Lean not unto your own understanding. In reading these verses and knowing and understanding them, am I being the person that God wants me to be in being discontent and leaning on my own understanding??
Another question to wrestle with.
I guess the bigger question is to be asking myself is why has this discontment reared it's ugly head and how do I get back to the sense of peace I had only months ago?
I know the answer to this, for it is my life's verse:Phillippians 4:6-7 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Lord God, I ask through prayer and supplication in the earnest seeking of your word and in thanksgiving of the great gifts you have already bestowed upon me according to your riches in heaven that you will help me not to lean on my own understanding but thine will be done and that you will restore my inner peace and my focus on those things Godly and Good. Help me to guard my heart and mind against the enemy being annxious for nothing, and to think and act upon those things that are pure and lovely.Amen.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Birthday Party Day
On Saturday, Korbin celebrated his 4th birthday. We usuaully have one big party, for both family and friends. However, this year we decided to seperate the two and take Korbin with his class friends from church to Chuck E. Cheese. Then, later that afternoon, we had cake & ice cream with our family in the front office at our apartment complex. It was a busy afternoon, but alot of fun.
Korbin's best friends, Natalie and Noah along with his cousin Shelley went to the pizza fun place, where we spent two very load hours. It was a good time, seeing the kids run & have fun doing what kids to best. One of the reasons I love Chuch E. Cheese, is that they have the kids safe policy where you and your child must have a matching stamp to come & go from the enterence/exit. If your stamps do not match, then the adult and kid can not leave together. It does not replace parental supervision but it does give some piece of mind that he can not walk out the door with anyone either.
It was a rainy day, so an indoor party with lots to see and do what exactly what the dr. ordered! So, two hours later, we packed up our things and headed home to relax and get ready for cake and ice cream with the family. We usually just invite Korbins friends to our family party, however, this year it just worked out better to take the little kids to do something more active and fun.
We had the leasing ceter for two hours, and it was a quick cake, ice cream and presents. I loved it!! The clean up with quick and it was very low-key. Almost like a birthday party we would have if we had a home to have it in. By 5 pm, we were packed up (still in the rain) and headed home. Korbin played with each and every toy he got before the nights end. I think this was a really enjoyable day for him and something he will remember in the future.
Birthdays are a big deal for me. I decorate the house, we have a theme, and always have a cake with the persons name on it. My own birthday is two days after christmas. After is the key word there, when everyone is broke and worn out. Which has always made me feel a little bit like an after thought. Especially when people use phrases like "Merry christmas and Happy Birthday". Which would be great,if they were on the same day. For many people, for many years my christmas gifts would double as birthday presents and any formality of having a birthday would be gone.
So, when I had a child, I knew that thier day- the day I told them I was happy that they were born and here with us- would not be anything less than special. Some say I go over board. So what?? Your child is only your child for a short time, why not show them how special they are to you while you can? The key to this, however, is using these things as teaching moments to help them develope into that teenage/ adult that is coming quicker than the rain drops whether you like it or not.
To have these moments to celebrate thier lives, but not to celebrate raising a spoiled brat. One way in which I do this, is I stop him (as often as I can, he is still a kid) and tell him to say Thank you to whom evers gift he has opened. As well as when he is done, he has to go and say thank you and give hugs. It's not perfect, sometimes its a struggle, but I want to attempt to keep his attitude humble and his heart soft.
So, it was a busy day but an enjoyable one. Tomorrow, we will begin writting our thank you cards, Korbin is big enough this year to help write in them. It is hard for me to believe my baby has turned into a big boy right before my very eyes.
It gives new meaning to his morning verse " This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it". These years are going to fast, I will be glad in each day we have while we have it!!!
Korbin's best friends, Natalie and Noah along with his cousin Shelley went to the pizza fun place, where we spent two very load hours. It was a good time, seeing the kids run & have fun doing what kids to best. One of the reasons I love Chuch E. Cheese, is that they have the kids safe policy where you and your child must have a matching stamp to come & go from the enterence/exit. If your stamps do not match, then the adult and kid can not leave together. It does not replace parental supervision but it does give some piece of mind that he can not walk out the door with anyone either.
It was a rainy day, so an indoor party with lots to see and do what exactly what the dr. ordered! So, two hours later, we packed up our things and headed home to relax and get ready for cake and ice cream with the family. We usually just invite Korbins friends to our family party, however, this year it just worked out better to take the little kids to do something more active and fun.
We had the leasing ceter for two hours, and it was a quick cake, ice cream and presents. I loved it!! The clean up with quick and it was very low-key. Almost like a birthday party we would have if we had a home to have it in. By 5 pm, we were packed up (still in the rain) and headed home. Korbin played with each and every toy he got before the nights end. I think this was a really enjoyable day for him and something he will remember in the future.
Birthdays are a big deal for me. I decorate the house, we have a theme, and always have a cake with the persons name on it. My own birthday is two days after christmas. After is the key word there, when everyone is broke and worn out. Which has always made me feel a little bit like an after thought. Especially when people use phrases like "Merry christmas and Happy Birthday". Which would be great,if they were on the same day. For many people, for many years my christmas gifts would double as birthday presents and any formality of having a birthday would be gone.
So, when I had a child, I knew that thier day- the day I told them I was happy that they were born and here with us- would not be anything less than special. Some say I go over board. So what?? Your child is only your child for a short time, why not show them how special they are to you while you can? The key to this, however, is using these things as teaching moments to help them develope into that teenage/ adult that is coming quicker than the rain drops whether you like it or not.
To have these moments to celebrate thier lives, but not to celebrate raising a spoiled brat. One way in which I do this, is I stop him (as often as I can, he is still a kid) and tell him to say Thank you to whom evers gift he has opened. As well as when he is done, he has to go and say thank you and give hugs. It's not perfect, sometimes its a struggle, but I want to attempt to keep his attitude humble and his heart soft.
So, it was a busy day but an enjoyable one. Tomorrow, we will begin writting our thank you cards, Korbin is big enough this year to help write in them. It is hard for me to believe my baby has turned into a big boy right before my very eyes.
It gives new meaning to his morning verse " This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it". These years are going to fast, I will be glad in each day we have while we have it!!!
Friday, November 7, 2008
True Happiness
I just realized that true happiness does not come from owning new cars, having a ton of money in the bank or catherial peaks in an over sized home. But it comes from being told your the best mommy ever when you give your child something and when your son & husband lay on the floor nose to nose and put together a used train set. It warms my soul and fills my heart with joy so much that it leaks out my eyes as tears. And just as I think it can not get any better than it is at this particular moment, the love of my life winks at me, smiles and says "I love ya, honey".
Thank you God! I stand in awe of the simple gifts that you give me everyday. Thank you for my son & husband, my cup runneth over!!
Thank you God! I stand in awe of the simple gifts that you give me everyday. Thank you for my son & husband, my cup runneth over!!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Standing with the Fridgerator Open
Wasting my time, wasting electricity wondering why I think that life's problems can be solved inside the ice box. I've searched the cub boards, the pantry and the grocery store shelves with an intense need to feed my feelings for years. Why I thought I could just solve this dilemma with a surgery is beyond me.
Maybe for the last several months, I have put everything/everyone out of my line of vision and focused on the big prize. With much success, I might add. Now that the holidays are fastly approaching, my emotions are outta whack and I am in search of something to get them back in check.
Sadly, old habits die hard, and I always begin my search in the fridge. The professionals call it self-sabotage. I read alot about it prior to my wls, and I am conscious of it now and try to gain prespective each time I reach for the food. I struggle with breaking this habit as it has been an issue since before I can remember it not being an issue.
Food was my friend, my comforter, my confident, and it filled every void that I had. I never went through a mourning period for this food, like so many do that have wls. I mainly felt relieved, like a house guest that came and stayed to long; I was happy that it was gone.
Just as I am happy that it took 150 pounds with it. I stand in the door way, and wave good-bye to the lost blubber. Then quietly close the door and do a happy dance that it is gone. That is what I do most every day. So these feelings of insecurity and insignificane are some what of an anomoly to me.
It is the preverbial angel and devil senerio, and I can choose. The past or the present. I am struggling in this new life I have choosen, it is not easy as I had thought it would be. Actually prayed that it would be. However, I must say that God has seen me through this experience with more good times than bad. So what am I saying? I'm not sure...just rambling I guess. But mainly I am wondering why the little man in the fridge who turns the light on and off has not yelled at me yet and told me to close the door?!
Maybe for the last several months, I have put everything/everyone out of my line of vision and focused on the big prize. With much success, I might add. Now that the holidays are fastly approaching, my emotions are outta whack and I am in search of something to get them back in check.
Sadly, old habits die hard, and I always begin my search in the fridge. The professionals call it self-sabotage. I read alot about it prior to my wls, and I am conscious of it now and try to gain prespective each time I reach for the food. I struggle with breaking this habit as it has been an issue since before I can remember it not being an issue.
Food was my friend, my comforter, my confident, and it filled every void that I had. I never went through a mourning period for this food, like so many do that have wls. I mainly felt relieved, like a house guest that came and stayed to long; I was happy that it was gone.
Just as I am happy that it took 150 pounds with it. I stand in the door way, and wave good-bye to the lost blubber. Then quietly close the door and do a happy dance that it is gone. That is what I do most every day. So these feelings of insecurity and insignificane are some what of an anomoly to me.
It is the preverbial angel and devil senerio, and I can choose. The past or the present. I am struggling in this new life I have choosen, it is not easy as I had thought it would be. Actually prayed that it would be. However, I must say that God has seen me through this experience with more good times than bad. So what am I saying? I'm not sure...just rambling I guess. But mainly I am wondering why the little man in the fridge who turns the light on and off has not yelled at me yet and told me to close the door?!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Hi! My name is Kristy & I am an emotional eatter!!
This afternoon, I delt with my first episode of "dumping" since my weightloss surgery. It was an absolute horrific experience I never, ever wish to repeat.
"Dumping syndrome is an effective result of the gastric bypass system which alerts the body of inappropriate eating. Dumping syndrome is described as a shock-like state when small, easily absorbed food particles rapidly dump into the digestive system. This results in a very unpleasant feeling with symptoms such as a cold clammy sweat, pallor, butterflies in the stomach and a pounding pulse. These symptoms may be followed by cramps and diarrhea. This state can last for 30-60 minutes and is quite uncomfortable!" this definition was from web md.
My experience started with a pounding headache that echoed like I was in a tunnel. My tempature shot up and I began to sweat, as when I looked at something to long I felt as if my eyes would cross,I was extremely dizzy and I began to shake. My stomach made awful noises as if it were the loche ness monster and hurt like someone had just sucker punched me in the gut. I could not think or do anything other than lay on the couch. It was agony and I did it to myself.
Two tablespoons of chicken salad, one hand full of baked chips, one piece of sugar free candy...aw what the heck...two snack size kit kats...later and I was feeling the effect.
Actually that was what I was trying to avoid was feeling, so I began to eat. I often feel as if I am not good enough; not a good enough wife, mother, employee, sister, friend, aunt..the list is endless. When I was over weight I could blame it on that, the weight. Now that I have shed this over layer of protective fat, I have nothing to place the blame on for my feelings of insignificence. Yet, these feelings of not being good enough are overwhelming. I strive to be the best I can in all things, but yet I continuelly fall short. And if it were not for the grace of God in my moments of weakness as a mother, Korbin would be in therapy for my mothering mistakes for the rest of his exsistence. Maybe this is God's reasoning for not blessing us with other children, because I am a failure to the one he did give us thus not deserving of any others. And even though my struggles of these feeling are not secrets, there are/is no shortage of people in our lives to show up and intentionally or unintentionally to tell me how unworthy I am either through thier actions or words. I always remember my momma telling me that actions speak louder than words, and now as an adult, I understand what she is saying.
Then, when my feelings are hurt or I feel as if I am being attacked I overreact and do/say something stupid. Thankfully, God has been really dealing with me in this area and these occassions are less and less. However, in the days to come I deal with emotions that attack my character as a person, wife and mother.
Today, instead of over reacting, I ate. I ate to replace the feelings I was having, I ate to make myself feeling better, I ate because I did not know what else to do.And I still do not know what to do and I still don't feeling better.
"Dumping syndrome is an effective result of the gastric bypass system which alerts the body of inappropriate eating. Dumping syndrome is described as a shock-like state when small, easily absorbed food particles rapidly dump into the digestive system. This results in a very unpleasant feeling with symptoms such as a cold clammy sweat, pallor, butterflies in the stomach and a pounding pulse. These symptoms may be followed by cramps and diarrhea. This state can last for 30-60 minutes and is quite uncomfortable!" this definition was from web md.
My experience started with a pounding headache that echoed like I was in a tunnel. My tempature shot up and I began to sweat, as when I looked at something to long I felt as if my eyes would cross,I was extremely dizzy and I began to shake. My stomach made awful noises as if it were the loche ness monster and hurt like someone had just sucker punched me in the gut. I could not think or do anything other than lay on the couch. It was agony and I did it to myself.
Two tablespoons of chicken salad, one hand full of baked chips, one piece of sugar free candy...aw what the heck...two snack size kit kats...later and I was feeling the effect.
Actually that was what I was trying to avoid was feeling, so I began to eat. I often feel as if I am not good enough; not a good enough wife, mother, employee, sister, friend, aunt..the list is endless. When I was over weight I could blame it on that, the weight. Now that I have shed this over layer of protective fat, I have nothing to place the blame on for my feelings of insignificence. Yet, these feelings of not being good enough are overwhelming. I strive to be the best I can in all things, but yet I continuelly fall short. And if it were not for the grace of God in my moments of weakness as a mother, Korbin would be in therapy for my mothering mistakes for the rest of his exsistence. Maybe this is God's reasoning for not blessing us with other children, because I am a failure to the one he did give us thus not deserving of any others. And even though my struggles of these feeling are not secrets, there are/is no shortage of people in our lives to show up and intentionally or unintentionally to tell me how unworthy I am either through thier actions or words. I always remember my momma telling me that actions speak louder than words, and now as an adult, I understand what she is saying.
Then, when my feelings are hurt or I feel as if I am being attacked I overreact and do/say something stupid. Thankfully, God has been really dealing with me in this area and these occassions are less and less. However, in the days to come I deal with emotions that attack my character as a person, wife and mother.
Today, instead of over reacting, I ate. I ate to replace the feelings I was having, I ate to make myself feeling better, I ate because I did not know what else to do.And I still do not know what to do and I still don't feeling better.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
My current weight as of Saturday was 215. One hundred and sixty five pounds lighter than I was this time last year, and in one month, I will be celebrating the beginning of my journey- December 6th.
My body is regressed to this overwhelming tiredness state that I seem to be drug into every couple of months. As if my body is trying to catch up with it's current weightloss. Which I admit, has not been as much lately as I might have hoped.
I have slacked recently on my diet and exerise goals, and just got wrapped up in life as I know it. Now, I am jumping back on the ban wagon with both feet to attempt to get off this last 36 pounds. I had hoped to be at my goal weight by Dec. 6th, however, as quick as I had lost some of this weight I am certain I did not loose 36 pounds in one month!! If I get to 25 from goal(which is a loss of 7 pounds this month) I will be ok, but I'd really like to be at 23.
Which would leave me at 24 to loose in order to reach goal but January 29th, my one year surgery anniversary. I think these goals are reachable and attainable. If I get my butt back in gear!!!
The weather here was great today, so Korbin and I took a walk in the park this after noon. I think it was a half or 3/4's of a mile, not sure but I was nice to be outside enjoying the autumn air. Some exerise is better than none, right?!
I am trying to be happy with the success that I have had but all I can think about is getting to be under that 200 pound mark. In all honestly, I can remember the last time the scale read under that number with me standing on it. It was while I was in high school, and that was more 12 years ago!!
In closing, someone said to me the other day that my goal weight was still too much (179 lbs), I should be striving for 140 or under. I thought for a moment and said " 179 will be good for me, it's not 379! I won't be over weight nor will I be under weight, my weight will be just right for me" And I smiled.
My body is regressed to this overwhelming tiredness state that I seem to be drug into every couple of months. As if my body is trying to catch up with it's current weightloss. Which I admit, has not been as much lately as I might have hoped.
I have slacked recently on my diet and exerise goals, and just got wrapped up in life as I know it. Now, I am jumping back on the ban wagon with both feet to attempt to get off this last 36 pounds. I had hoped to be at my goal weight by Dec. 6th, however, as quick as I had lost some of this weight I am certain I did not loose 36 pounds in one month!! If I get to 25 from goal(which is a loss of 7 pounds this month) I will be ok, but I'd really like to be at 23.
Which would leave me at 24 to loose in order to reach goal but January 29th, my one year surgery anniversary. I think these goals are reachable and attainable. If I get my butt back in gear!!!
The weather here was great today, so Korbin and I took a walk in the park this after noon. I think it was a half or 3/4's of a mile, not sure but I was nice to be outside enjoying the autumn air. Some exerise is better than none, right?!
I am trying to be happy with the success that I have had but all I can think about is getting to be under that 200 pound mark. In all honestly, I can remember the last time the scale read under that number with me standing on it. It was while I was in high school, and that was more 12 years ago!!
In closing, someone said to me the other day that my goal weight was still too much (179 lbs), I should be striving for 140 or under. I thought for a moment and said " 179 will be good for me, it's not 379! I won't be over weight nor will I be under weight, my weight will be just right for me" And I smiled.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Read my lips, NO MORE BUFFETS!!!
On Saturday, our family went to a buffet for dinner, we've been twice before in the recent months following my surgery. Each time in the days following, my stomach has been a knotted mess. Why I thought it would be any different this time, I am not sure.
When we arrived, the overwhelming smell of bbq hit me in the face, and warning bells went off. Yet, I continued to walk up to the counter with my hubby and son and pay our 11.00 per person for something I would later regret immensely!
As I searched the buffet for something that would not ruin everything I had worked so hard for, I realized that I was not going to find anything since Saturdays were bbq nite, that meant if it was not deep fried it was slathered in bbq sauce (which is loaded with brown sugar, a BIG no no).
Alas, I settled for a salad with some cheese and ranch dressing, and a slice of way to salty ham. I also had two bites of a roll with butter and one bite of reduced sugar apple pie, and my stomach was screaming!!!
My pouch, which can hold 1 1/2 cups of food comfortably, was gurgling and bubbling in protest of what I had just done. This was not the high protien, low carb good-for-you type meal my little stomach has become accustom to recieving. The food I choose I don't think was a bad choice, but I think that there is something that they cook the food in that does not agree with me. Or they are using the same utensils to cut the ham, that they do to remove the fried chicken thus transfering the grease that my sensitive system can not tolerate any more.
Regardless of why, it is just a fact that I can not eat at buffets anymore. The days following are miserable for me, my stomach still aches and it is Monday now. It is tender and sensitive and protesting anything that I put inside my body except for protien drinks.
Other thing that leaves my shaking my head is, I can not believe I spent $11.00 on a salad & a slice of ham!!! Since my surgery, our average bill for a dinner at a restraurant is $15-20, my meal usually cost the same amount as Korbin's; $4-6. Ahhh!! That was just a bad budget mistake, especially since our $32.00 dinner out cost me an additional $7.00 in antacids and antidiarehha medication at the pharmacy. So, for $41.00, I got crap, literally!!!
*Sigh* I should have listen when the warning bells in my head starting flashing and blinking to tell me that this was not a good idea. However, I did not listen and paid the price for it. I thought if I wrote down what happened, then the next time I was tempted to go to a buffet for dinner I would say thanks but no, the stakes are to high. Budgetwise and Physically.
When we arrived, the overwhelming smell of bbq hit me in the face, and warning bells went off. Yet, I continued to walk up to the counter with my hubby and son and pay our 11.00 per person for something I would later regret immensely!
As I searched the buffet for something that would not ruin everything I had worked so hard for, I realized that I was not going to find anything since Saturdays were bbq nite, that meant if it was not deep fried it was slathered in bbq sauce (which is loaded with brown sugar, a BIG no no).
Alas, I settled for a salad with some cheese and ranch dressing, and a slice of way to salty ham. I also had two bites of a roll with butter and one bite of reduced sugar apple pie, and my stomach was screaming!!!
My pouch, which can hold 1 1/2 cups of food comfortably, was gurgling and bubbling in protest of what I had just done. This was not the high protien, low carb good-for-you type meal my little stomach has become accustom to recieving. The food I choose I don't think was a bad choice, but I think that there is something that they cook the food in that does not agree with me. Or they are using the same utensils to cut the ham, that they do to remove the fried chicken thus transfering the grease that my sensitive system can not tolerate any more.
Regardless of why, it is just a fact that I can not eat at buffets anymore. The days following are miserable for me, my stomach still aches and it is Monday now. It is tender and sensitive and protesting anything that I put inside my body except for protien drinks.
Other thing that leaves my shaking my head is, I can not believe I spent $11.00 on a salad & a slice of ham!!! Since my surgery, our average bill for a dinner at a restraurant is $15-20, my meal usually cost the same amount as Korbin's; $4-6. Ahhh!! That was just a bad budget mistake, especially since our $32.00 dinner out cost me an additional $7.00 in antacids and antidiarehha medication at the pharmacy. So, for $41.00, I got crap, literally!!!
*Sigh* I should have listen when the warning bells in my head starting flashing and blinking to tell me that this was not a good idea. However, I did not listen and paid the price for it. I thought if I wrote down what happened, then the next time I was tempted to go to a buffet for dinner I would say thanks but no, the stakes are to high. Budgetwise and Physically.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Keep it Clean Bathroom Plan
As I said in my Kitchen piece, I would be adding the bathroom to my speed cleaning routine.
Bathroom Cleaning To-Do List:
Every Day- 2 minutes!
Wipe out the sink (30 seconds).
Wipe the toilet seat and rim (15 seconds).
Swoosh the toilet bowl with a brush (15 seconds).
Wipe the mirror and faucet (15 seconds).
Squeegee the shower door (30 seconds).
Spray the entire shower and the curtain liner with shower mist after every use (15 seconds).
Every Week-17 minutes!
Scrub the tub (three minutes).
Scrub the tiles (five minutes).
Mop the floor (two minutes).
Wipe& disinfect the switch plates, doorknobs, and doorjambs (one minute).
Empty and wipe out the wastebasket (30 seconds)
Drains: Pour 1/4 cup baking soda down sink drain, then 1/4 cup vinegar. Let sit
for 5 minutes. Run hot water ( 5 minutes 30 seconds)
Every Season-One hour every three months!
Take down the shower curtain, then launder it according to the care instructions.
Empty, weed, and clean the medicine cabinet (20 minutes).
Perform "Shiny Sink 101" on the tub and sink.
Supplies to Keep in the Bathroom
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes: for cleaning sinks, tubs, tile, and the toilet exterior.
Daily Shower Spray: to prevent soap-scum buildup on shower walls.
OXO Good Grips Household Squeegee : for cleaning the shower door and mirrors.
Toilet brush with caddy.
Clorox ReadyMop: for floors.
Soft Scrub with Bleach: for scrubbing the tub and tile.
OXO Good Grips Scrub Brush: for scrubbing the tub and tile.
Bleach or an all-purpose cleaner: to use in the toilet-brush caddy.
Windex Glass and Surface Wipes: for mirrors and chrome.*
Don't forget when cleaning start at the top and move down, like cleaning the mirror first, then the vanity, the sink & wipe the doors of the vanity before sweeping the floors that way the dust and such move down so that you are cleaning in a pattern to get the best results out of your two minutes of cleaning.
Also, teach your kids that when they are done using the potty to close the lid prior to flushing the toilet. This minimizes the spread of germs when the toilet is flushed. One thing I always have to remind myself is that I not only need to have my bathroom clean but disinfected too. Which is why I always spray the toilet handle, and the faucet and tub handles along with any door knobs to Lysol epseciall during cold/flu season. I do not do this every day but every other day, at the very least once a week unless someone in my home has been sick. This add's another 30 seconds to anyday's cleaning routine.
*see scheduling the kitchen for the recipe to make your own glass cleaner!*
Bathroom Cleaning To-Do List:
Every Day- 2 minutes!
Wipe out the sink (30 seconds).
Wipe the toilet seat and rim (15 seconds).
Swoosh the toilet bowl with a brush (15 seconds).
Wipe the mirror and faucet (15 seconds).
Squeegee the shower door (30 seconds).
Spray the entire shower and the curtain liner with shower mist after every use (15 seconds).
Every Week-17 minutes!
Scrub the tub (three minutes).
Scrub the tiles (five minutes).
Mop the floor (two minutes).
Wipe& disinfect the switch plates, doorknobs, and doorjambs (one minute).
Empty and wipe out the wastebasket (30 seconds)
Drains: Pour 1/4 cup baking soda down sink drain, then 1/4 cup vinegar. Let sit
for 5 minutes. Run hot water ( 5 minutes 30 seconds)
Every Season-One hour every three months!
Take down the shower curtain, then launder it according to the care instructions.
Empty, weed, and clean the medicine cabinet (20 minutes).
Perform "Shiny Sink 101" on the tub and sink.
Supplies to Keep in the Bathroom
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes: for cleaning sinks, tubs, tile, and the toilet exterior.
Daily Shower Spray: to prevent soap-scum buildup on shower walls.
OXO Good Grips Household Squeegee : for cleaning the shower door and mirrors.
Toilet brush with caddy.
Clorox ReadyMop: for floors.
Soft Scrub with Bleach: for scrubbing the tub and tile.
OXO Good Grips Scrub Brush: for scrubbing the tub and tile.
Bleach or an all-purpose cleaner: to use in the toilet-brush caddy.
Windex Glass and Surface Wipes: for mirrors and chrome.*
Don't forget when cleaning start at the top and move down, like cleaning the mirror first, then the vanity, the sink & wipe the doors of the vanity before sweeping the floors that way the dust and such move down so that you are cleaning in a pattern to get the best results out of your two minutes of cleaning.
Also, teach your kids that when they are done using the potty to close the lid prior to flushing the toilet. This minimizes the spread of germs when the toilet is flushed. One thing I always have to remind myself is that I not only need to have my bathroom clean but disinfected too. Which is why I always spray the toilet handle, and the faucet and tub handles along with any door knobs to Lysol epseciall during cold/flu season. I do not do this every day but every other day, at the very least once a week unless someone in my home has been sick. This add's another 30 seconds to anyday's cleaning routine.
*see scheduling the kitchen for the recipe to make your own glass cleaner!*
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Weight loss surgery fights PCOS
As if I didn't need another reason to have had wls, I was given one at the doctor when he told me that surgery has resolved my type 2 diabetes and is aiding in the fight against my PCOS(Polycystic ovary syndrome).
The definition the web md gives for PCOS is : "Polcystic ovary syndrome is a condition in women characterized by irregular or no menstrual periods, acne, obesity, and excess hair growth. PCOS is a disorder of chronically abnormal ovarian function and hyperandrogenism (abnormally elevated androgen levels). It affects 5-10% of women of reproductive age. PCOS is also called the Stein-Leventhal syndrome."
I was diagnosed with PCOS five and half years ago when I went to see my ob about birth control prior to getting married. At the time, I did not think very much of it, I was more concerned with the act of getting married than what would happen once we were married. However, the birth control helped to regulate my cycles therefore eliminating the issue, at least in my own mind. Then, after a frightening eight hour ordeal in the local ER for chest pains at the age of 28, I was removed from my birth control for fear of pulmonary embolism with my family history and current medical status (morbidly obese, type 2 diabetes, and high cholesterol).Thus, dissipated any control I had over my monthly cycles.
In January when I had my wls, my cycles began happening like clock work, up until my seventh month post-op. In this month, my weight loss began to slowed to a steady nothingness, and my attention to food and exercise gave way to life's happenings.
At first, I (again) did not pay much attention to my body's signals. I thought my body just needed a minute to catch up to it's rapid weight loss. However, what was actually happening was when I increasing my carbohydrates by not paying attention to my diet then my body also increased it's insulin Resistance. And when I also stopped exercising as much, the insulin was not being regulated in this way either thus the slowing in weight loss and extreme hunger.
So, when my body was not using the insulin properly the excess insulin was thought to boost androgen (Elevated levels of male hormone)production by my ovaries and irregulaating my cycles yet again.All of this means that even though I have lost 148 pounds, which is a significant amount of weight, it is not enough!! This is/was extremely frustrating!! Even at that weight loss, I still am considered to be "obese" (can you believe it???) and need to move my weight to the low end of over weight or the high end of the normal range in order for my PCOS to possibly regulate it's self. Even then, there is no guarantee of that. However, daily exercise and a diet low in carbohydrates is what the Mayo clinic recommends in order to fight this disorder without medication or in addition too it.
So, it is back to chicken and fish for me along with a daily trip back to the gym. I guess I thought I was in the clear, since my diabetes has been in check since the surgery. However, it still appears that I am fighting PCOS( along with 1 in 10 women in the united states). I live in hope that once I hop back on the treadmill, my PCOS will hop back into remission.
What is ironic to me is that if it was not for wls, I would not have the tools to fight PCOS because I would not be in the gym, I would not be eat ting a diet low in fat and carbohydrate's and I would not be free of type 2 diabetes thus showing the symptoms on PCOS instead of diabetes in order to properly treat this.
Yes, I am severely concerned because I guess I though when the diabetes was gone so were my issues. But, I guess that is what I get for thinking?! I am just thankful that the Lord put into my life a team of Doctors that listen to what I am telling them and work to treat my symptoms in a timely, professionally manor. Dr. Mickelson and Dr. Rosenblatt have never discounted me as a needy over concerned person in which I am a dollar sign instead of a person. They are caring and concerned for my well being, and for that I am completely grateful that through their training I am getting the best care available.
The definition the web md gives for PCOS is : "Polcystic ovary syndrome is a condition in women characterized by irregular or no menstrual periods, acne, obesity, and excess hair growth. PCOS is a disorder of chronically abnormal ovarian function and hyperandrogenism (abnormally elevated androgen levels). It affects 5-10% of women of reproductive age. PCOS is also called the Stein-Leventhal syndrome."
I was diagnosed with PCOS five and half years ago when I went to see my ob about birth control prior to getting married. At the time, I did not think very much of it, I was more concerned with the act of getting married than what would happen once we were married. However, the birth control helped to regulate my cycles therefore eliminating the issue, at least in my own mind. Then, after a frightening eight hour ordeal in the local ER for chest pains at the age of 28, I was removed from my birth control for fear of pulmonary embolism with my family history and current medical status (morbidly obese, type 2 diabetes, and high cholesterol).Thus, dissipated any control I had over my monthly cycles.
In January when I had my wls, my cycles began happening like clock work, up until my seventh month post-op. In this month, my weight loss began to slowed to a steady nothingness, and my attention to food and exercise gave way to life's happenings.
At first, I (again) did not pay much attention to my body's signals. I thought my body just needed a minute to catch up to it's rapid weight loss. However, what was actually happening was when I increasing my carbohydrates by not paying attention to my diet then my body also increased it's insulin Resistance. And when I also stopped exercising as much, the insulin was not being regulated in this way either thus the slowing in weight loss and extreme hunger.
So, when my body was not using the insulin properly the excess insulin was thought to boost androgen (Elevated levels of male hormone)production by my ovaries and irregulaating my cycles yet again.All of this means that even though I have lost 148 pounds, which is a significant amount of weight, it is not enough!! This is/was extremely frustrating!! Even at that weight loss, I still am considered to be "obese" (can you believe it???) and need to move my weight to the low end of over weight or the high end of the normal range in order for my PCOS to possibly regulate it's self. Even then, there is no guarantee of that. However, daily exercise and a diet low in carbohydrates is what the Mayo clinic recommends in order to fight this disorder without medication or in addition too it.
So, it is back to chicken and fish for me along with a daily trip back to the gym. I guess I thought I was in the clear, since my diabetes has been in check since the surgery. However, it still appears that I am fighting PCOS( along with 1 in 10 women in the united states). I live in hope that once I hop back on the treadmill, my PCOS will hop back into remission.
What is ironic to me is that if it was not for wls, I would not have the tools to fight PCOS because I would not be in the gym, I would not be eat ting a diet low in fat and carbohydrate's and I would not be free of type 2 diabetes thus showing the symptoms on PCOS instead of diabetes in order to properly treat this.
Yes, I am severely concerned because I guess I though when the diabetes was gone so were my issues. But, I guess that is what I get for thinking?! I am just thankful that the Lord put into my life a team of Doctors that listen to what I am telling them and work to treat my symptoms in a timely, professionally manor. Dr. Mickelson and Dr. Rosenblatt have never discounted me as a needy over concerned person in which I am a dollar sign instead of a person. They are caring and concerned for my well being, and for that I am completely grateful that through their training I am getting the best care available.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
More Kitchen stuff
On my continuel quest to get the most outta my time, money, energy and home I have found a few more things that I will be adding to my kitchen cleaning list:
Weekly
Drains: Pour 1/4 cup baking soda down sink drain, then 1/4 cup vinegar. Let sit
for 5 minutes. Run hot water down drain to flush through to refreshen garbage disposal
Monthly
Make Kitchen ABC(anticbacterial cleaner)
I never would have ever thought of making my own cleaner but in effort to stretch my budgeting dollar, I found this web site http://www.elanaspantry.com/ & recipe of "green" kitchen abc:
"Why make your own cleaning products? Why go through the bother? To save money and protect the environment, of course! You can pay upwards of $4 for a bottle of cleaning spray or, you can easily make it yourself for less!
Elana’s Kitchen Cleaner
1 (16) ounce spray bottle
8 ounces peroxide
8 ounces water
5 drops tea tree oil
5 drops lemon oil
Pour all ingredients into spray bottle
Shake well
Spray on counter surfaces and wipe with a clean rag
You can see the price difference between making your own cleaning product and purchasing it:
DIY Spray (initial cost includes price of bottle)
$3.57 for 16 ounces
DIY Spray (refill cost)
$1.70 for 16 ounces ($.09 per ounce)
Fantastic All-Purpose Cleaner
$4.86 for 32 ounces ($.15 per ounce)"
Or, if like me, you can reuse the Fantastic bottle and cut down your initial cost!! Plus the convience of refilling when you need it instead of having to wait until grocery day or making a special trip to Target! Cha-Ching!! Please deduct 5.00 from my grocery bill!!!
P.S.
Make your own Glass Cleaner too!
Homemade Glass Cleaner Recipe
Mix in a sprayer bottle:
1 cup rubbing (isopropyl) alcohol,1 cup water,1 tablespoon white vinegar
Weekly
Drains: Pour 1/4 cup baking soda down sink drain, then 1/4 cup vinegar. Let sit
for 5 minutes. Run hot water down drain to flush through to refreshen garbage disposal
Monthly
Make Kitchen ABC(anticbacterial cleaner)
I never would have ever thought of making my own cleaner but in effort to stretch my budgeting dollar, I found this web site http://www.elanaspantry.com/ & recipe of "green" kitchen abc:
"Why make your own cleaning products? Why go through the bother? To save money and protect the environment, of course! You can pay upwards of $4 for a bottle of cleaning spray or, you can easily make it yourself for less!
Elana’s Kitchen Cleaner
1 (16) ounce spray bottle
8 ounces peroxide
8 ounces water
5 drops tea tree oil
5 drops lemon oil
Pour all ingredients into spray bottle
Shake well
Spray on counter surfaces and wipe with a clean rag
You can see the price difference between making your own cleaning product and purchasing it:
DIY Spray (initial cost includes price of bottle)
$3.57 for 16 ounces
DIY Spray (refill cost)
$1.70 for 16 ounces ($.09 per ounce)
Fantastic All-Purpose Cleaner
$4.86 for 32 ounces ($.15 per ounce)"
Or, if like me, you can reuse the Fantastic bottle and cut down your initial cost!! Plus the convience of refilling when you need it instead of having to wait until grocery day or making a special trip to Target! Cha-Ching!! Please deduct 5.00 from my grocery bill!!!
P.S.
Make your own Glass Cleaner too!
Homemade Glass Cleaner Recipe
Mix in a sprayer bottle:
1 cup rubbing (isopropyl) alcohol,1 cup water,1 tablespoon white vinegar
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Scheduling the Kitchen
I found this great info & wanted to share it! In an effort to get my life my organized & on a schedule I have been investing some time in finding the best way to manage(minimize) my time cleaning so that I have more time to do the other(more important) things that I need to get done and not feal as if I am neglecting my (biblical)responsiblities to keep my home clean. This particular piece was on spead cleaning your kitchen, which is where I am starting!
When cleaning the kitchen always start with the sink. A sparkling sink becomes your kitchen's benchmark for hygiene and tidiness, inspiring you to load the dishwasher immediately and keep counters, refrigerator doors, and the stove top spick-and-span, too.
When cleaning the kitchen always start with the sink. A sparkling sink becomes your kitchen's benchmark for hygiene and tidiness, inspiring you to load the dishwasher immediately and keep counters, refrigerator doors, and the stove top spick-and-span, too.
Every Day- 4 1/2 minutes!
Wipe down the sink after doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher (30 seconds).
Wipe down the stove top (one minute).
Wipe down the counters (one minute).
Sweep, Swiffer, or vacuum the floor (two minutes).
Every Week-21 minutes per week!
Mop the floor (five minutes).
Wipe the cabinets, backsplashes, and appliances (10 minutes).
Wash the dish rack (four minutes).
Wipe the switch plates and phone (one minute).
Wipe the inside of the garbage can (one minute).
Every Season-1hour 25 minutes every three months!
Empty and scrub down the inside of the refrigerator (30 minutes).
Empty and clean the insides of the utensil drawers (15 minutes).
Scrub down the cupboard exteriors (30 minutes).
Clean the stove-hood filter (10 minutes).
Perform "Shiny Sink 101"
Shiny Sink 101
Adapted from www.FlyLady.net (a.k.a. Marla Cilley)1. Fill sink to the rim with very hot water; add one cup regular bleach. Soak for one hour. 2. Drain and rinse thoroughly. 3. Scrub with Ajax, Bon Ami, or baking soda. 4. Be sure to rinse thoroughly. 5. Shine with Windex or another glass-cleaning spray. Dry thoroughly.
Cleaning Supplies to Keep in the Kitchen
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes: for all hard, nonwood surfaces. They leave a fresh, nonchemical scent.
Windex Glass and Surface Wipes: for windows and chrome.Bleach. (See Shiny Sink 101.)
Ajax, Bon Ami, or baking soda. (See Shiny Sink 101.)Microfiber cloths and mops for an alternatives to chemical cleaners and paper towels. For cleaning all surfaces. Especially effective for polishing stainless steel.
Clorox ReadyMop: Wash the floor without a bucket. Works on most surfaces.
Broom, Swiffer, or handheld vacuum: for crumb busting.
Ok, so I think I can handle 4 1/2 minutes a day. And it is my goal starting tomorrow to clean in this manor at the same time everyday. Like after breakfast, sounds like a good place to start!
PS. I did not find those books by Emilie Barnes I was looking for but would like too! Maybe for christmas,eh?
Darkenss and Light
Ever you ever felt as if you are trapped in a vortex of darkness and dispair? You try to find your way toward the light, and everytime you think that you have found the way out you have actaully only found a mirage just like in the desert. Days, weeks and months pass and you muddle your way through. Sometimes, you actually do ok haning out there in the darkness not realizing that you could have/be so much more in the light. But most days, you get a glimpse of the light and it reminds you of all that you could have/be. Then the tormenting question begins " Do I stay here and make the best of being miserable or so I search for the light again?"Each day you wrestle with this question until you ultimately decide that the current life that your living is not really living at all. So you begin to search. And search. And search. Day after day you search and suddenly one day you finally reach the light. You are happy! So happy!! You have worked so hard to get to where you are at, then one day you are swept up from the light into a whirl wind only to be placed back down into a place that you do not know. Are you in the light or in the darkness?? Where are you exactly? You have no idea but you are back to searching again. You are tired, emotional, and even angry. Don't you deserve to live in the light and be happy? Why do these things keep happening to you? You fight to make sense of what it happening, but you feal as if you failed somehow. Failed yourself, failed you family, and failed you relationship with Christ. Deep inside you know that the whirl wind was not your fault, yet there is an overwhelming sense of failure and sadness. What should you do now is all you can think? You know you are at a cross roads, to stay where you are at or continue to once again search for the light.
That is exactly the way I feal after having weight loss surgery, I lived in the darkenss for so long and then after I had wls I muddled through for a while until I finally got to where I was happy with myself, my life and my weight. Then life happened, and I was tossed into the air dealing with these happenings. Now, I am at a cross roads as to what to do next or where to go to be "back in the light" again. I feal as if I have finally delt successfully my most of my past issues, and now it is the issues of the moment that are weighing me down. I guess I thought that my life has been so full of issues, heartache and sadness that maybe it was my time to have happiness, love and success. How foolish of me!! Happiness again, is just beyond my graps. Maybe this is the burden I am meant to bare. Maybe having success in life will never be achievable to me.But what ever my destiny is I know that I walked in light for a moment and that was enough to make my search in pursuit of it for the rest of my days until I find it again.
That is exactly the way I feal after having weight loss surgery, I lived in the darkenss for so long and then after I had wls I muddled through for a while until I finally got to where I was happy with myself, my life and my weight. Then life happened, and I was tossed into the air dealing with these happenings. Now, I am at a cross roads as to what to do next or where to go to be "back in the light" again. I feal as if I have finally delt successfully my most of my past issues, and now it is the issues of the moment that are weighing me down. I guess I thought that my life has been so full of issues, heartache and sadness that maybe it was my time to have happiness, love and success. How foolish of me!! Happiness again, is just beyond my graps. Maybe this is the burden I am meant to bare. Maybe having success in life will never be achievable to me.But what ever my destiny is I know that I walked in light for a moment and that was enough to make my search in pursuit of it for the rest of my days until I find it again.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
43 to go
It has been 8 1/2 months since my weight loss surgery and I have lost 143 pounds. At 222 lbs, I have 43 pounds to go to get to my goal weight. I picked the goal weight of 179, since I will be exactly 200 away from my highest weight. My weight loss has slowed down to a steady nothingness, and I have been stationary in the 22o's for what seems like forever. I knew the weight loss would slow down, but I guess I never thought it would happen to me. I know, how funny it is to think that. Yet, I did. Now, I am doing something called the five day pouch test, which takes me eatting back to the way to was eatting right after surgery to help me recapture control of my eatting and weightloss. Day 1 & 2 are liquids only, Day 3 is soft protien like canned tuna and chicken, Day 4 is ground protien like beef or turkey and Day 5 is Fish, Steak, or Poultry with complex carb's like broccoli or green beans. This test helps break the carbohydrate cycle that somepeople find themselves in, like me. And restores the "tightness" in your pouch that is common right after surgery to help you realize when you are full. I have done this test once before, and had great success with it, loosing 8 pounds in one week. With 43 pounds to go, and a goal of Dec 8th, I need to get my sight set back on the prize. This week, I have been to the gym both Monday and Today. Although, I am fighting serious fatigue again which is playing a large part inbeing unable to find a routine the works for us. It is my desire to get back to the gym both Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday morning. The last couple of weeks, I have become complacent in my eatting and letting the "carbohydrate" monster take over. I have choosen this week to take back my eatting and my scheduling issues. I am heading out the door here in few minutes to go and look for a book by Emilie Barnes called Finding more hours in my day or Secrets to a Simple Beautiful Home.She is a christain author and should have some good idea's in the area's of homemaking and scheduling. The eatting area is just as simple as getting back to basics. I am optimistic that through prayer and seeking I can find the answer to these obstacles.We each have our struggles and these in the current moment are mine!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Schedule Frustration
When my son was born, within weeks, I had him on a schedule. He thrived and I loved every minute of having a consistent daily routine. For the first 18 months of his life on this earth, we did everything by a schedule. I read everything I could get my hands on about creating a family routine, a healthy sleep schedule and how to readjust after not being on a routine after a busy event. Then is seems as if his second birthday came along with his independence and out the window went my schedule. And I feal as if I have been a day late and a dollar short ever since. My sister, if she is reading this, is laughing. She has the antiroutine, where her girls sleep when they are tired and eat in the same manor. If her oldest naps, that is great. And if not, that is great too. All of which works for them. For us? If pen has not put it to paper, then there is no way I am going to get it done. Yet, try as I might, I can not seem to nail down a schedule that will work for us. It is making me mad, I tell you!!! Where am I going wrong? What am I missing? I am not sure!! But something must change because I feel as if I am getting nowhere faster and faster.
I have agreed to homeschool Korbin for preschool, and this is literally kicking my butt. I am wondering with each passing day when Christmas break is going to get here. However, if I don't get it together, there will be no christmas break because we will be too far behind. As it is now, I feel as if I am working 24/7, by christmas without a break I will be insane for sure.
For along time after my surgery, I felt a since of peace because my outsides were finally starting to match my insides, physically. Then I began cleaning my home and my emotions to help them to match my new physical inside/outside person.Getting rid of alot of the junk that was laying around my home and my heart gathering dust that I did not need anymore. However, now I feel like I am back to this inside/outside cluttered wreck. That sense of peace is gone and I am crying these days at the drop of a hat. I am not sure where I took the wrong turn, but I need to get back to the express way and quick!!!
My schedule, my life and my emotions are outta wack again, and who knows for what good reason? Did I take on too much with homeschool Korbin? Possibly, but it is such a sense of joy when it gets accomplished. Did I take on too much period? Maybe, but exactly what mother doesn't? All I know that it is taking far too long to identify the problem, than I have to fix it. The question at hand is, what to do about all of this madness?My first inclination is to give up my schedule and decide what needs to go. Then, what needs to stay. And then what needs to be added. Then, I need to create a school/Korbin schedule, A home schedule and then a Kristy schedule and mesh the three together. It sounds so simple. Almost too simple, in fact. But it is too simple to actually work...............
I have agreed to homeschool Korbin for preschool, and this is literally kicking my butt. I am wondering with each passing day when Christmas break is going to get here. However, if I don't get it together, there will be no christmas break because we will be too far behind. As it is now, I feel as if I am working 24/7, by christmas without a break I will be insane for sure.
For along time after my surgery, I felt a since of peace because my outsides were finally starting to match my insides, physically. Then I began cleaning my home and my emotions to help them to match my new physical inside/outside person.Getting rid of alot of the junk that was laying around my home and my heart gathering dust that I did not need anymore. However, now I feel like I am back to this inside/outside cluttered wreck. That sense of peace is gone and I am crying these days at the drop of a hat. I am not sure where I took the wrong turn, but I need to get back to the express way and quick!!!
My schedule, my life and my emotions are outta wack again, and who knows for what good reason? Did I take on too much with homeschool Korbin? Possibly, but it is such a sense of joy when it gets accomplished. Did I take on too much period? Maybe, but exactly what mother doesn't? All I know that it is taking far too long to identify the problem, than I have to fix it. The question at hand is, what to do about all of this madness?My first inclination is to give up my schedule and decide what needs to go. Then, what needs to stay. And then what needs to be added. Then, I need to create a school/Korbin schedule, A home schedule and then a Kristy schedule and mesh the three together. It sounds so simple. Almost too simple, in fact. But it is too simple to actually work...............
Friday, October 3, 2008
New Presidential Canidate
Korbin for President in 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Just for Fun
Soon to be Vice President of the United States, Sarah Palin has picked out an All-American set of names for her children. There's Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.
Ever wonder, What would your name be if Sarah Palin was your mother? Check out this site, it's all in the name of fun!
http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html
If S.P was my mom, my name would be Molten Contra Palin...he he he. That is totally something I would use too!! Lol!!
What would your name be???
Ever wonder, What would your name be if Sarah Palin was your mother? Check out this site, it's all in the name of fun!
http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html
If S.P was my mom, my name would be Molten Contra Palin...he he he. That is totally something I would use too!! Lol!!
What would your name be???
Thursday, September 25, 2008
New Hair Cut
I took Korbin on Wednesday to his personal barber (Miss Sherri, his Best Friends mom) to have his hair trimmed. It wasn't until he got out of her chair that I realized that my baby is growing up right before my very eyes! It is amazing that something as mundane as a haircut can snap you back into rememberence that childhood is fleeting, and that we should take every moment to enjoy our children at these tender ages before you turn around twice and they are grown. In the picture to the right, Korbin was wearing the "B" necklace we made in preschool, taken 2 weeks ago. The photo above, was taken after his new haircut. Can you see how much difference one hair cut can make??>tear< My baby is growing up!*Sigh*Wednesday, September 24, 2008
My Workout Play List
It took me forever to find a clean play list for my ipod. I usually listen to contemporary Christan music but there was nothing that I could find with a fast beat to run to. So, I began the long tedious task of finding something that had a good beat but would not ruin my Christan testimony if someone were to ask "what's on your ipod?" After three months of work, here is what I have come up with:
All-American Girl by Carrie Underwood
Survivor by Destiny's Child
Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie
Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani
Don't you know your Beautiful by Kellie Pickler
No Air by Jordan Sparks
Miss Indepedant by Kelly Clarkston
Unwritten by Natasha Bettingfield
Everybody's Got thier Something by Nikki Costa
Sos by Riahanna
Picture to Burn by Taylor Swift
Who says you can't go home by Sugarland featuring Bon Jovi
Should've said No by Taylor Swift
Life is a Highway by Rascall Flatts
Back when I knew it all by Montergomery Gentry
My Town by Montergomery Gentry
Me & My Gang by Rascall Flatts
Our Song by Taylor Swift
Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bettingfield
Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefai featuring Akon
Red High Heels by Kelli Pickler
Tatto by Jordon Sparks
Me & Charlie by Maranda Lambert
Keep in mind, these are not perfect but clean enough with a strong back beat to get my blood flowing through my workout. I may add more songs in the future but for now, these are good enough.
All-American Girl by Carrie Underwood
Survivor by Destiny's Child
Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie
Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani
Don't you know your Beautiful by Kellie Pickler
No Air by Jordan Sparks
Miss Indepedant by Kelly Clarkston
Unwritten by Natasha Bettingfield
Everybody's Got thier Something by Nikki Costa
Sos by Riahanna
Picture to Burn by Taylor Swift
Who says you can't go home by Sugarland featuring Bon Jovi
Should've said No by Taylor Swift
Life is a Highway by Rascall Flatts
Back when I knew it all by Montergomery Gentry
My Town by Montergomery Gentry
Me & My Gang by Rascall Flatts
Our Song by Taylor Swift
Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bettingfield
Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefai featuring Akon
Red High Heels by Kelli Pickler
Tatto by Jordon Sparks
Me & Charlie by Maranda Lambert
Keep in mind, these are not perfect but clean enough with a strong back beat to get my blood flowing through my workout. I may add more songs in the future but for now, these are good enough.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The End of the Beginning
Saturday was my last day at my super-stressful telephone job. It was a combination of things that ended this three week stresser for me, but the clincher was when I was told on saturday my friday night shift was elective and I was not getting paid for it in which I had spent the entire day away from my son, for naught.
I cam home relieved, terrified and crying. My life was turned upside down, and I distested where we were going. Nothing was getting accomplished and I was physically and emotionally exhausted.Yet, I felt as if I had failed. Rod needs me to bring in some extra income and yet, I couldn't. Not there anyway.
Thankfully, I still have my homecare job. I love working with these elderly people. Although, I do not see my future in working with the elderly, I love it right now and charish the experience. This position, indeed, is where I am meant to be. It should have been a no brainer when the scheduler told me a week ago that she had extra hours for me. But, I always have to try things my way first.When will I learn?
I am recouping today, and not doing much. I am still physically drained. I almost feel as I did those first months after surgery; I can barely hold my head up. I am looking forward to getting back to the gym tomorrow. I love running, and the sweat dripping down my face. There is something about that which clears my head and helps me to gain perspective. I am looking forward to cementing a school schedule with Korbin and reclaiming my days from stress and exhaustion. This week has the prespective to be a good week. God is Good!!
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me Phillippians 4 :15
I cam home relieved, terrified and crying. My life was turned upside down, and I distested where we were going. Nothing was getting accomplished and I was physically and emotionally exhausted.Yet, I felt as if I had failed. Rod needs me to bring in some extra income and yet, I couldn't. Not there anyway.
Thankfully, I still have my homecare job. I love working with these elderly people. Although, I do not see my future in working with the elderly, I love it right now and charish the experience. This position, indeed, is where I am meant to be. It should have been a no brainer when the scheduler told me a week ago that she had extra hours for me. But, I always have to try things my way first.When will I learn?
I am recouping today, and not doing much. I am still physically drained. I almost feel as I did those first months after surgery; I can barely hold my head up. I am looking forward to getting back to the gym tomorrow. I love running, and the sweat dripping down my face. There is something about that which clears my head and helps me to gain perspective. I am looking forward to cementing a school schedule with Korbin and reclaiming my days from stress and exhaustion. This week has the prespective to be a good week. God is Good!!
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me Phillippians 4 :15
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Looking for the Signs
Since I started this new job, I've had some serious anxiety, to say the least. I hate leaving Korbin 5 days a week. I hate not being here when Rod gets home from work. I hate being hung up on or yelled at. I hate not being in church Wednesday nights. I hate the general disruption I feel in my soul because life is chaotic on a daily basis. Fridays and Sundays are my only days off and they are filled with errands. There is no relief from the stress or relaxation from the day's happenings. I feel as if I am one big ball of stress, and it is taking it's toll again because the exhaustion I felt in the beginning of my wls surgery has returned.
When I envisioned this year, I saw a full year of bonding with my little guy as it is his last year at home before heading off to school. I saw a focus on getting myself healthy before trying to expand our family. I saw enjoying date nights with my husband once a month, doing new things and revisiting old places with fond memories.
However, what is currently enveloping our life is not at all what I thought is was going to be. Something has to change!!
So, when my hubby told me that his company may be going back to mandatory 12's until Christmas, I took it as a sign that this job is not for me. Maybe I should have taken that this job was not for me when I could not find a sitter that could be here when I needed him/ her without other obligations. Maybe I should have taken the disruption in my being as a sign. Maybe I should have let God "supply all our needs" instead of taking matters into my own hands. But alas, I did not. As a result, here I am. Stressed.
Rod's 12's are scheduled to begin the week of Oct 7th, which will be my last week at my telephone job.I am a little sad, because I wanted to be able to help out financially. I wanted to have a little extra money to buy some new clothes that I so desperately need. I wanted to be able to buy my husband a Christmas gift without wondering where the money is going to come from to do so. Apparently, those are my wants and not God's plans for me/us.
I do not know where we go from here. I just know where ever it is, it will not be with me working at the place I am at now?!
When I envisioned this year, I saw a full year of bonding with my little guy as it is his last year at home before heading off to school. I saw a focus on getting myself healthy before trying to expand our family. I saw enjoying date nights with my husband once a month, doing new things and revisiting old places with fond memories.
However, what is currently enveloping our life is not at all what I thought is was going to be. Something has to change!!
So, when my hubby told me that his company may be going back to mandatory 12's until Christmas, I took it as a sign that this job is not for me. Maybe I should have taken that this job was not for me when I could not find a sitter that could be here when I needed him/ her without other obligations. Maybe I should have taken the disruption in my being as a sign. Maybe I should have let God "supply all our needs" instead of taking matters into my own hands. But alas, I did not. As a result, here I am. Stressed.
Rod's 12's are scheduled to begin the week of Oct 7th, which will be my last week at my telephone job.I am a little sad, because I wanted to be able to help out financially. I wanted to have a little extra money to buy some new clothes that I so desperately need. I wanted to be able to buy my husband a Christmas gift without wondering where the money is going to come from to do so. Apparently, those are my wants and not God's plans for me/us.
I do not know where we go from here. I just know where ever it is, it will not be with me working at the place I am at now?!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Stressed, tired and emotional!
I am experiencing a gamut of emotions as of late. There is just so much going on in our lives right now, I am just not sure which is the correct path to follow.First, this job that I have just is not working out for us. I am severely stressed because of the sales aspect, I am coming to realize that I am just not a sales person. I like the hours, however, Korbin and Rod do not like them so much. It is stressing Rod to get Korbin each night, and where exactly he is gonna end up since we can not seem to get a permanent sitter for the hour and a half that we need him/her each night. I promised my sister I would try it for at least a month before I/We made any decisions. I finally got a chance to chat with the person who does the scheduling at my home care position, and they can get me some more hours to compensate for this other position if it does not work out. I guess I am just really unsure which path to follow regarding the work situation. I love working with the lady that I work with in my home care job. It is that soft spot I have for her that caused me to keep this position when I got the job with my sister, instead of quitting. But, in all honestly, I just want one job where I can work two nights a week, make my 100+ dollars and then fill in with my home care lady. This working everyday, even if it only a couple hours a day, is wearing me out!! Korbin and his schooling should be my primary focus right now, instead, it has been put on the back burner because of everything that is going on including me getting to work every night by 5:30.Another thing that I was afraid of happening has indeed happened, I am so busy trying to get errands done, do laundry, cook meals, clean house, school Korbin, and get a sitter and get to work that there is no time to pay attention to what I am eating and get to the gym!! I am thankful that God gave me the option to try and make this work, and I am also glad that He gave me the wisdom to realize that this is not working. Now, I pray that He will give me the wisdom to make the right decision what to do next!!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Praying for Joy!
My husband met his best friend, whom I will affectionately call "Fred" for the sake of privacy, in the 5 th grade. So, when we got married making Fred his best man, was an obvious choice. Three years later, when Fred met the love of his life, "Ethel", my husband was Fred's best man. In April, Fred & Ethel welcomed a beautiful little baby girl into the world, whom we will Joy.
Joy has been a happy baby, with beautiful brown hair and blue eyes that gives smiles away for a wink and thinks her daddy is her hero.
No one ever would have guessed that this beautiful, gift from God would be in the hospital fighting for her life. Thursday afternoon, Joy's dad, her hero took his daughter to the ER because he knew something "was not right" with his little girl. Several hours later, Joy was life flighted from one hospital to the local childrens' hospital two hours away because her blood count was unstable and there was a large mass protruding from her right side.
After several tests several days later, they have diagnosed Joy with a form of kidney cancer that is commonly found in children under the age of two. Her doctors believe that the cancer is just contained to the kidney area, and plan to remove her kidney and the tumor this week. However, last evening the results of another test revealed a spot on her liver. The doctors believe it is a tangled mass of cells because the tumor is pushing her organs and other insides into other places, but they want to rule out the cancer spreading prior to surgery.
It is hard to see Joy a once vibrate baby just laying in a hospital crib. It is even harder to see Fred and Ethel hurting for thier young daughter without an explaination why.
I am not telling you this, because I needed something else to blog about. I am telling you this because I believe in the power of prayer and my friends and thier child need all of the prayers that they can get right now. And honestly, it is all I know to for them!!
I would take this all away if I could. I would heal thier daughter from this awful disease. I would give them back thier peace of mind, and thier comfort that that they once had. I would do anything I could to help them wake up from this awful dream that has become thier life!! But all I can do if pray for them, remind them of God's sovernty in the midst of trails, and His grace. All I can do is be there for them during this time and ask God to heal Joy and return her to full health. All I can do is pray! Please, I am asking anyone who reads this: Please pray for my friends and God to heal and restore thier Joy !!!!!
Joy has been a happy baby, with beautiful brown hair and blue eyes that gives smiles away for a wink and thinks her daddy is her hero.
No one ever would have guessed that this beautiful, gift from God would be in the hospital fighting for her life. Thursday afternoon, Joy's dad, her hero took his daughter to the ER because he knew something "was not right" with his little girl. Several hours later, Joy was life flighted from one hospital to the local childrens' hospital two hours away because her blood count was unstable and there was a large mass protruding from her right side.
After several tests several days later, they have diagnosed Joy with a form of kidney cancer that is commonly found in children under the age of two. Her doctors believe that the cancer is just contained to the kidney area, and plan to remove her kidney and the tumor this week. However, last evening the results of another test revealed a spot on her liver. The doctors believe it is a tangled mass of cells because the tumor is pushing her organs and other insides into other places, but they want to rule out the cancer spreading prior to surgery.
It is hard to see Joy a once vibrate baby just laying in a hospital crib. It is even harder to see Fred and Ethel hurting for thier young daughter without an explaination why.
I am not telling you this, because I needed something else to blog about. I am telling you this because I believe in the power of prayer and my friends and thier child need all of the prayers that they can get right now. And honestly, it is all I know to for them!!
I would take this all away if I could. I would heal thier daughter from this awful disease. I would give them back thier peace of mind, and thier comfort that that they once had. I would do anything I could to help them wake up from this awful dream that has become thier life!! But all I can do if pray for them, remind them of God's sovernty in the midst of trails, and His grace. All I can do is be there for them during this time and ask God to heal Joy and return her to full health. All I can do is pray! Please, I am asking anyone who reads this: Please pray for my friends and God to heal and restore thier Joy !!!!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
New week, same stress!
Last weeks stresses seems to be carrying over into this week. Rod's gout is bothering him, and by the time I got home last night, his big toe was almost the size of his heal. Thank the Lord, that the Dr. refilled his prescription without requiring an appointment.But he is in a lot of pain until the medication begins to work. I am equally thankful that the Lord provided a sitter for Korbin, I felt very at ease leaving Korbin with Sarah last night. She has sat for him in the past, she is a Christan and she doesn't take his attitude but she is not on a power trip about her authority so she is not mean to him. I could breathe a sigh of relief, for half a second. I did not make any sales last night, and I realized that I missed my phone time for last week by 1.89!! So, something has to break soon.
I never realized that my reentry into the working world would be this stressful. Honestly, I am not sure I can make this work. I will give it ago, but I am not confident. Which is sad, because since I have lost a significant amount of weight, I have gained a lot of self confidence. However, this is uncharted waters for me and I am not as "natural" at it as I would like to be.
I am still praying the Rod's company will come through and provide and adquate raise. This would elevate some burden, I would still have to have a job until some of our past isssues are paid off, but I would know that there is an end in sight!!
It's not really that I have a problem working. It's that I feal that my primary job is to care for my child, husband and home and I am just not doing that to my satisfaction. I know that when Korbin stays up crying, that this is not an okey-dokey thing.
Ugh!! If I could put into words the thoughts and fealing that race through my being at this very moment: I am very grateful to God for giving my a chance to help my husband and our family dig our way out of this hole we are in. His provision is evident. I just have no peace in this position. I wish that I did?! I am thankful for Rod's job; with or without a raise. I am thankful for a qualified, loving sitter for Korbin. I am just concerned with where we are headed, the stress is knotting in my shoulders and I need to head to the gym for a run and relieve this stress and clear my head....
I never realized that my reentry into the working world would be this stressful. Honestly, I am not sure I can make this work. I will give it ago, but I am not confident. Which is sad, because since I have lost a significant amount of weight, I have gained a lot of self confidence. However, this is uncharted waters for me and I am not as "natural" at it as I would like to be.
I am still praying the Rod's company will come through and provide and adquate raise. This would elevate some burden, I would still have to have a job until some of our past isssues are paid off, but I would know that there is an end in sight!!
It's not really that I have a problem working. It's that I feal that my primary job is to care for my child, husband and home and I am just not doing that to my satisfaction. I know that when Korbin stays up crying, that this is not an okey-dokey thing.
Ugh!! If I could put into words the thoughts and fealing that race through my being at this very moment: I am very grateful to God for giving my a chance to help my husband and our family dig our way out of this hole we are in. His provision is evident. I just have no peace in this position. I wish that I did?! I am thankful for Rod's job; with or without a raise. I am thankful for a qualified, loving sitter for Korbin. I am just concerned with where we are headed, the stress is knotting in my shoulders and I need to head to the gym for a run and relieve this stress and clear my head....
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Saturday Surprise
Today was a long day for me as it began at 5:45 am when the alarm sounded. I hit it once, and woke up at 6am.When I jumped on the scale this morning, it said 233. So long to 2 more pounds. Then it was out the door at 6:40 to be at my home care job at 6:50, 10 minutes early because I needed to leave early to be at my new job at 9am. I worked there from 9-12:30, where I successfully avoided the temptations of the two boxes of donuts. However, I did not "make my week" with anymore sales. Disheartened, I headed home.
When I got home, I heard one very happy little boy yelling through the opened windows of our apartment "Mommy!Mommy!". It was then, that I was faced with a wonderful surprise: a made bed, folded laundry and a dishwasher emptied and refilled!!!
To some, that might not mean a lot, but to me it meant more than I could formulate into words at the time.I hope the smile on my face could say everything to my husband that I couldn't. As I recall the flood of emotion that I felt this morning, tears begin to well in my eyes.
Work is extremely overwhelming for me, and stressful. The manager at this company is known for just "recognizing" when people are not gonna work out and relieving them of their position without much warning. This is very nerve wracking to me because I am trying my best, but I have not even been there a full week yet, and I do not want to be one that randomly does not work out.So most of the morning I felt really inadequate, like Rod and Korbin were counting on me and I had let them down by not making a sale today and securing my position there for another day.
Yet, when I arrived home and seen that Rod had tended to some of my daily chores, I felt very respected. As if he does realize how hard I am working to take care of my self, our home, Korbin and his education, and now a part time job. I've got alot on my plate right now, and for Rod to help out without being asked or a list, that made my week!!! Then, when Michigan scored a touch down in the 4th quater against Miami and won the game 16 to 6...well that sweetened the deal!!!!!!!
When I got home, I heard one very happy little boy yelling through the opened windows of our apartment "Mommy!Mommy!". It was then, that I was faced with a wonderful surprise: a made bed, folded laundry and a dishwasher emptied and refilled!!!
To some, that might not mean a lot, but to me it meant more than I could formulate into words at the time.I hope the smile on my face could say everything to my husband that I couldn't. As I recall the flood of emotion that I felt this morning, tears begin to well in my eyes.
Work is extremely overwhelming for me, and stressful. The manager at this company is known for just "recognizing" when people are not gonna work out and relieving them of their position without much warning. This is very nerve wracking to me because I am trying my best, but I have not even been there a full week yet, and I do not want to be one that randomly does not work out.So most of the morning I felt really inadequate, like Rod and Korbin were counting on me and I had let them down by not making a sale today and securing my position there for another day.
Yet, when I arrived home and seen that Rod had tended to some of my daily chores, I felt very respected. As if he does realize how hard I am working to take care of my self, our home, Korbin and his education, and now a part time job. I've got alot on my plate right now, and for Rod to help out without being asked or a list, that made my week!!! Then, when Michigan scored a touch down in the 4th quater against Miami and won the game 16 to 6...well that sweetened the deal!!!!!!!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Ding! Kristy's gotta Sale!!
Last night I went to work, a little more calm than I spent the day. God is good and when I prayed for Him to calm my nervous, He did just that. I spent my entire 3 1/2 hours on the phone, and only breaking once to use the restroom. Then, after 3/4 of the way through the night, God blessed me with a sale!! At first, I was not very excited because the lady wanted an invoice but later I was told that it counts toward my weekly goal. So then I got excited!! However, Rod's day was not as exciting as mine. In the companies Rah Rah meeting, they annouced another person was recieving the promotion that Rod was hoping would be offered to him. His ego was some what deflated when I arrived home at 9pm. My heart really went out to him and any happiness I felt towards success that evening was gone. I wanted to jump on top of the couch and yell into the phone of Rod's boss about how are he has worked and how deserving he is of this promotion and more. However, I sat there and listened to his heartache and heard something in his voice I had not heard in a long time, hope. He was not giving up and intended to fight for a high position within this company because he believed in it and wanted to be apart of thier long term visions and goals. This was not a typical Rod statement and my heart leap with pure joy as I could hear how the Lord was working in Rod.
I went to bed last night completely thankful for the days events, even if some of them came in unexpectant packages. The Lord is good and His provision is amazing!! I am not sure how He is gonna work things out here for us on the job front but He showed me tonight, He is in control and I trust Him, He has never failed me/us before!
I went to bed last night completely thankful for the days events, even if some of them came in unexpectant packages. The Lord is good and His provision is amazing!! I am not sure how He is gonna work things out here for us on the job front but He showed me tonight, He is in control and I trust Him, He has never failed me/us before!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
The emotion of stress
I am so very, very, very tired!! The week began with Korbin being up most of the night with a fever, that lead into the first day of home school, which lead into the first day of my new job. I am extremely tired and very emotional. Wednesday nights are our church nights and instead of being in church with my family, I was in a call center being hung up on.All I could think of was "This is not where I am suppose to be!". I know that it is my job as a help mate to help my husband and if my husband believes that I need to work to bring more revenue into our home, then that is what I will do. But man-o-man, I never realized how draining, both emotionally and physically, and stressful it would be.And this is just day #2!!! I just keep praying that God will be merciful and grant our request for a raise/promotion for Rod during his review in the upcoming days.
Last night during my 6 hour shift, I got a brief introduction to the company who now writes my paychecks, then it was off to the phones. I was completely intimidated!! There is a minimum number of calls I need to make, a script I need to follow and a dollar amount I need to achieve each week. The pressure is on!! What if I can not preform up to their demands? My home care job does not require this type of stress at all, and reminds me more of my banking days. Which, for the record, were not fun and very hard core competitive for sales and customer service. The banking job of today is nothing like it was in the past and is no posh job.
I am off to night number two, and I will be on the phone with customers for 3 1/2 hours tonight in which I am praying that I can make a sale!! I am praying that God will calm my nerves and help me to be productive and help me to achieve my goals. My success or failure is completely depended upon the Lord, and I pray the He will equip me for what lies ahead.Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengths me". I am also praying that if it is His will that I stay at this position, that He will give me the wisdom to do all the things that I need to do in a day and the stamina to get it all done. I am praying that He will put quality, relyable sitters for Korbin in our path. More than anything I am praying that will reveal His will for my life, because I want to give Him honor & glory through my life and it's happenings and I am just confused how to be all things to all people!!
Last night during my 6 hour shift, I got a brief introduction to the company who now writes my paychecks, then it was off to the phones. I was completely intimidated!! There is a minimum number of calls I need to make, a script I need to follow and a dollar amount I need to achieve each week. The pressure is on!! What if I can not preform up to their demands? My home care job does not require this type of stress at all, and reminds me more of my banking days. Which, for the record, were not fun and very hard core competitive for sales and customer service. The banking job of today is nothing like it was in the past and is no posh job.
I am off to night number two, and I will be on the phone with customers for 3 1/2 hours tonight in which I am praying that I can make a sale!! I am praying that God will calm my nerves and help me to be productive and help me to achieve my goals. My success or failure is completely depended upon the Lord, and I pray the He will equip me for what lies ahead.Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengths me". I am also praying that if it is His will that I stay at this position, that He will give me the wisdom to do all the things that I need to do in a day and the stamina to get it all done. I am praying that He will put quality, relyable sitters for Korbin in our path. More than anything I am praying that will reveal His will for my life, because I want to give Him honor & glory through my life and it's happenings and I am just confused how to be all things to all people!!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
First Day Back to Work
Today is my first day at my "new" job. As you may recall, back in March, I started doing homecare one day a week. I love this job, but 2 hours a week was not getting us anywhere financially. I tried to talk to the person who does our scheduling, unfortunately, she does not have anything available for me to work in the hours I am available when Rod is home. So this left me to find something else where. Fortunately, my sisters company was hiring and the hours are right, so I applied and the offered my the position and I accepted. Today, is my first day and Rod's parents are coming down to watch Korbin while I head in for training at 2:30
I am slightly intimidated with the thought of going back to work a full 20 hours a week. I am enjoying the thought of a pay check but nervous that I will not be able to preform up to par. It has been 4 years next month that I have been in a office to work. I remember the stress, and I am not relishing in the idea of having this stress in my life again. I am currently stressed enough with getting Korbin's homeschooling off the ground and finding us a home to rent/buy in Oakland county. I am already wearing 52 hats, how many more can I wear without dropping something.
However, Rod and I have said that we we will revaluate things after christmas, and see if we are still in the need for me to work. Which is 3 months from now, and I am sure that I can handle three months of madness, if necessary. I love the thought of making my own money and fealing like a contributing member of our household. But at the same time, Korbin's child care for the 1 1/2 hours that over laps where I leave and Rod gets home, is up in the air. I am extremely picky who watchs my boy, so just not anyone will do. This is causing me alot of anxiety.
Plus, my sisters name is on the line. If I get in there and can't do things as well as she can, I might make her look bad. This is another source of stress for me. This is not just a group of kids hanging out in highschool and I am afraid she will make me look bad. This is someone's livelyhood we are talking about. She put her name and repuatation on the line for me, this is a very big deal in my family. It is one of the few things my dad stresses to us- your name & your word is all you have becareful who you give it too.
Needless to say, this morning has been kinda emotional for me. Especially when Korbin keeps asking me why I have to go to work, mommies aren't suppose to work. All I can say is that, "I wish that were true my darling, I wish that were true". But on the positive side, I have been very privilaged to stay home with him for this long. It has been amazing and something that alot of mothers do not get the chance to do. So, I guess this as a good of time as any to go back out into the work force?! Right?
I am slightly intimidated with the thought of going back to work a full 20 hours a week. I am enjoying the thought of a pay check but nervous that I will not be able to preform up to par. It has been 4 years next month that I have been in a office to work. I remember the stress, and I am not relishing in the idea of having this stress in my life again. I am currently stressed enough with getting Korbin's homeschooling off the ground and finding us a home to rent/buy in Oakland county. I am already wearing 52 hats, how many more can I wear without dropping something.
However, Rod and I have said that we we will revaluate things after christmas, and see if we are still in the need for me to work. Which is 3 months from now, and I am sure that I can handle three months of madness, if necessary. I love the thought of making my own money and fealing like a contributing member of our household. But at the same time, Korbin's child care for the 1 1/2 hours that over laps where I leave and Rod gets home, is up in the air. I am extremely picky who watchs my boy, so just not anyone will do. This is causing me alot of anxiety.
Plus, my sisters name is on the line. If I get in there and can't do things as well as she can, I might make her look bad. This is another source of stress for me. This is not just a group of kids hanging out in highschool and I am afraid she will make me look bad. This is someone's livelyhood we are talking about. She put her name and repuatation on the line for me, this is a very big deal in my family. It is one of the few things my dad stresses to us- your name & your word is all you have becareful who you give it too.
Needless to say, this morning has been kinda emotional for me. Especially when Korbin keeps asking me why I have to go to work, mommies aren't suppose to work. All I can say is that, "I wish that were true my darling, I wish that were true". But on the positive side, I have been very privilaged to stay home with him for this long. It has been amazing and something that alot of mothers do not get the chance to do. So, I guess this as a good of time as any to go back out into the work force?! Right?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
First Day or Preschool
Today was Korbin's first day of Preschool at the Last Name Academy for (almost) 4- year old's enrollment of one. In August, I ordered the Hands on Homeschooling Curriculum and today we began a modified version of the first weeks activities.
After the Tiger game on Saturday, Korbin came down with a virus that leaves small sores on his throat and a tempature for 103/104. The doctor said it typically take 4-6 days to run it's course, and the reason no one in our house has been sleeping well since Saturday night. Last night was no exception as Korbin was up at 5:30 in the morning until Rod left for work at 7:30, then he fell asleep while listening to Patch the Pirate in his bedroom. He slept until 11 am, when I finally woke him up.
So, we began our school work at 12:30 after lunch and was done by 2:30 with everything. Things went pretty well, considering he was not fealing his best. Korbin did really well with recognizing his letter "A" and thier sounds, but got really discouraged with no being able to write them they way he wanted to. The work sheets have the lines for the Kids to trace, but Korbin kept telling me that his hand won't go where he wants it to!! Today we did our bible story and craft, an "A" work sheet, a coloring page and a dry erase book for math along with a puzzle. I think everything went pretty well today. We'll see how the rest of the week goes...........
After the Tiger game on Saturday, Korbin came down with a virus that leaves small sores on his throat and a tempature for 103/104. The doctor said it typically take 4-6 days to run it's course, and the reason no one in our house has been sleeping well since Saturday night. Last night was no exception as Korbin was up at 5:30 in the morning until Rod left for work at 7:30, then he fell asleep while listening to Patch the Pirate in his bedroom. He slept until 11 am, when I finally woke him up.
So, we began our school work at 12:30 after lunch and was done by 2:30 with everything. Things went pretty well, considering he was not fealing his best. Korbin did really well with recognizing his letter "A" and thier sounds, but got really discouraged with no being able to write them they way he wanted to. The work sheets have the lines for the Kids to trace, but Korbin kept telling me that his hand won't go where he wants it to!! Today we did our bible story and craft, an "A" work sheet, a coloring page and a dry erase book for math along with a puzzle. I think everything went pretty well today. We'll see how the rest of the week goes...........
Monday, September 1, 2008
Fall is coming!!!!!
I love the fall!!! The attraction to this beautiful season as that of a cat to catnip. I love the slight breeze in the air, the smell of warm apple cider and the color of the leaves on the ground. I like the transition of shorts to sweaters, sunscreen to Halloween and Thanksgiving to Christmas. Christmas is the most enjoyable time of the year for me, I am the proverbial kid in a candy store. It use to be that I would wish away my fall days right into the Christmas season. But as I grow older, I enjoy the season preceding Christmas just as much!
Today, I got in the box that housed my fall decorations and began placing pumkins, leaves and pinecones around the house. I really enjoyed placing the Harvest decorations in thier spots and began to get more excited to go and do our tradition fall activities in the coming weeks: the Ladies at the end of September, the Couples retreat in early October, our annual trip to the apple orchard, Halloween, and Saturdays spent watching College football that gives way to the RedWings season opener.
This fall holds a particular special place in my heart this year, as it will be the last fall that Korbin will be home and not in school. It is very sobering to think of how quickly he has grown, and even more quickly time has flown by.
I am going to enjoy this new season of my life, as my 7 month annivigersary of my surgery has just past and I am 130 pounds thinner than I was at this time last year.The scale now reads 235, and I just missed my monthly weight loss goal for August by 2 pounds. I have a lofty goal this month of 22 pounds to loose and it is going to take some determination but I honestly believe that it is obtainable.
As well as going into this new season with a new weight, I am also going into this season with a new job. Last Thursday, I interviewed and was hired to do inside sales for an appliance/electronic company Monday- Thursday 5:30-9:00pm and 9am-12:30 on Saturdays. Which still enables me to keep my homecare position on Saturday mornings, at least for the time being.
I knew that fall was on it's way when Saturday evening at the Tiger Game, Korbin and I both had on jackets and were wishing for blankets. It was a wonderful way to end our summer, I just wish the Tigers had ended thier game on a equally high note. I wish you all a fabulous fall and looking forward to enjoying some of our fall days with you!!!!
Today, I got in the box that housed my fall decorations and began placing pumkins, leaves and pinecones around the house. I really enjoyed placing the Harvest decorations in thier spots and began to get more excited to go and do our tradition fall activities in the coming weeks: the Ladies at the end of September, the Couples retreat in early October, our annual trip to the apple orchard, Halloween, and Saturdays spent watching College football that gives way to the RedWings season opener.
This fall holds a particular special place in my heart this year, as it will be the last fall that Korbin will be home and not in school. It is very sobering to think of how quickly he has grown, and even more quickly time has flown by.
I am going to enjoy this new season of my life, as my 7 month annivigersary of my surgery has just past and I am 130 pounds thinner than I was at this time last year.The scale now reads 235, and I just missed my monthly weight loss goal for August by 2 pounds. I have a lofty goal this month of 22 pounds to loose and it is going to take some determination but I honestly believe that it is obtainable.
As well as going into this new season with a new weight, I am also going into this season with a new job. Last Thursday, I interviewed and was hired to do inside sales for an appliance/electronic company Monday- Thursday 5:30-9:00pm and 9am-12:30 on Saturdays. Which still enables me to keep my homecare position on Saturday mornings, at least for the time being.
I knew that fall was on it's way when Saturday evening at the Tiger Game, Korbin and I both had on jackets and were wishing for blankets. It was a wonderful way to end our summer, I just wish the Tigers had ended thier game on a equally high note. I wish you all a fabulous fall and looking forward to enjoying some of our fall days with you!!!!
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