My friend Steph & I just booked our first "Spa Trip" for April!! It is a much needed trip for both of us, but today as I sat on the bathtub edge crying that if I did not already have a getaway planned I would NEED to get away soon I would have a breakdown!!
I had this silly notion that once Rod got a full-time job all my anxiety would melt away and stress would be a thing of the past. The reality is that I am now letting myself feal the effects of the last three years of our lives and it is extremely painful to deal with.
As I once slept through the stress because it was the only thing that gave me some relief not to deal with the reality of what was going on, now I can not sleep at all because the nightmares I now have of the fears of what once was.
My latest nightmare was the we were homeless. Living out of our green Buick in the driveway of the vacant house down the street. It location was near the school, so I could still see if an ambulance or EMS had been called to the school. Yet, on this particular day the police were called to the school for me...because we had been living in the car and it was an insufficient place for children to live.
I woke up in a pool of sweat and having heart palpitation's.
God had provided for us in so many ways during Rod unemployment, it really does sound like a fiction novel when I begin to account for the many ways He took care of us. God truly does care of His children, but the human Psyche is a unique place and is a breeding ground for fear and insecurities.
It was a particularly rough day today, and God once again provided a "way out" with the thought of this week-end relaxing with my friend finding me again. Unlike alot of stay-at-home mom's, I have not lost my identity nor do I forget who I am to live through my kids. I have, however, forgotten how to relax. I feel like I am on duty all the time, and even when I am sleeping I do so with one eye open waiting for a child to come into my room & sleep in my bed. There is no down time for me.
Since Rod has gotten a job, praise the Lord, he has seen the stress that these years have added to my anxiety/stress levels and tries to get us out to get away more often. This helps some. I am completely grateful for when Rod's parents or sister take the boys. They are truly the only people who have them that I feel like completely relax we they are away. My dad, step-mom and sister are a extremely close second, but their schedules & lives are different than the flexibility Rod's family offers and they take the rules,etc of the boys allergies and issues and follow them to a T whereas it offers some concern to my dad & sister simply because of different circumstances not about love. Love is never a question!!
In recent months, God has brought a new appreciation and prospective to my heart regarding my family and in-laws. I am so thankful that He did! Yesterday is gone,but tomorrow is a new day. I can never get it back those days with my mom and often live in a place of regret but with the family we do have, we can work on making our tomorrows better so that we do not have to live in a place of regret any longer. No one is perfect, and the thing I hear God speaking to my heart is "If I offered you forgiveness, grace and mercy, and you claim to be a follow of mine, should you not offer it to others?" I am so thankful I am saved by Grace because I struggle with this so much! When I do not hear Jesus talking to my heart, I hear my sweet southern Mamaw's voice ringing in my ears, " Kris, you can't get to Heaven holdin' a grudge".
So thankful for second chances!!
I am thankful for a second chance to reconnect with my inner peace, and it does not hurt any that I will also be getting a massage at the same time!! I will miss my husband, and boys. I always feel a since of guilt when I take some time for me, and do not do it as often as alot of people say that I should. Maybe that is part of the reason I am in the stress induced over-load and adding things to it daily rather than removing anything. I really need some quiet time to reflect.
Although Steph and I will be there together, and I am certain going to share some laughs, we both have a purpose for going/getting away. It is different for the both of us and there is no one I would rather share this reflection time with than her. Too many times in recent days, she has pulled me from the despair that the devil has pulled my aching heart into only to do a Mexican hat dance on it. She has never condemned me, made light of my anxiety or used my faults/failures against me. I am glad two years ago she and her hubby decided to go bowling with two people they had never met before!
Part of reconnecting with myself, also allows me to reconnect with my husband. When I am overloaded, I am no good for anyone. Especially him. I have learned in recent days, that Rod is my best friend. I have looked to different people to have that title and he is the one person I keep returning to that no matter what our differences are or how bad our days can be, he never leaves. I have thrown words, things and his heart at him to get him to go because people you are close to inevitably leave but he never has.
The day before my 35th birthday, as I lay on the floor crying as if I had just been shot because my heart had been trampled on, he layed on the hard floor next to me stroking my hair until I fell asleep on my tear stained arm. I woke up what seemed like hours later to his murmurings, asking the Lord to give it too him. My pain, my heartache, whatever mistakes I may have made give it too him because I did not deserve what had just occurred. Especially the day before my birthday, because those that are close to me know who hard my birthday are for me to deal with and now we could add another bad birthday to the mounting list. It was that moment I new that my best friend layed beside me, not walked out on me. I knew after that I would never be the same....
I am so looking forward to a girl's getaway but more than getting away, I am looking forward to who is coming home: Me!!
~Kristy~
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The Bably Blues
Rod had just started working for a company based in PA but working inside a large distributor that was local. He did all the purchasing for the company and was scheduled to go to PA for a training for three days. I was working full time for a bank and we lived in a tiny two-bedroom apartment only 15 minutes from the local bank that I worked for. I came home for lunch, and it was early March 2004. Rod & I had been married 6 1/2 short months.Things were going great!!!
The May prior to our August wedding, I went to see the OB/Gyn for birth control options. To my surprise, Dr. Mike told me I would have trouble getting pregnant. I was large in size, and had been for sometime. The weight was crushing my fallopian tubes, and he put me on BC pills to regulate my cycles but it was not necessary for anything other than that. I would not be able to get pregnant without his help. When we were ready, I could come back to see him for infertility treatments.
Up until I met Rod, I never thought I would get married either. I just thought I was met to exist alone. At the time he proposed, I actually thought he was breaking up with me and was taking me to a nice restaurant to do it it public. To say I was surprised when he proposed, was an understatement!
Rod had asked me to go to the doctor because I was so sick but I refused until he returned from PA.
I honestly had thought I had the flu! I had never felt so awful! I went to see Dr. Mike because until my pcp, he got me in soon and I just wanted to feel better! He sent me for some blood work and I was so surprised when I grabbed the phone and listened to Jill on the other end tell me my pregnant test was positive. The room began to spin and the tears flowed freely. I had to be dreaming; I WAS GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!
When the news sunk in, I found myself jumping up and down!!
Dr. Mike was wrong! I was going to be able to have babies!
Well, I was half right. I did have two beautiful boys, five years apart. I am thankful that in that stretch there was never any miscarriages. I pray (ed) often for two very specific things; 1) That God will only give me pregnancies that will result in babies and 2.) That God will allow me to live long enough to see my children's children. But there was lot's of "just kidding's" where all the signs and signals were there for me to be pregnant, and my cycle would be late, only for me to take a test and my cycle would start the next day or so.
When I got pregnant I allowed myself to begin to dream about the big family I had always wants. Ideally, I had wanted two boys and a girl. Or even two girls, Or more boys. But the ratio of boys to girls was always more sons than daughters. Three was the minimum and double that was the maximum. I was able to have babies and since the unexpected dream of me getting married came true, then I could believe that my expected dream of being a mommy of a passel of kids would come true as well, right??
We tried for three years to have another baby after our sweet Korbin was born to no avail. I was heart broken and discouraged. I wanted people unexpectedly get pregnant, and in many cases I was happy for my friends and/or family. But for me, I was sad and distraught not to be able to give my only son a sibling to grow up with. Especially when some of his church friends were having brothers or sisters, and he would ask innocently "Mommy when do I get to be a big brother?"
I would choke back the tears and reply that it was all in God's timing.
Even though God's timing was not my timing when I got pregnant with Konnor, I was still over joyed!!
This pasted December I turned 35, and my hopes for my two sons and a daughter is slowly slipping through my fingers. To make matter worse, Korbin comes into my bedroom one evening and I am laying there watching one of my girly shows that I do not get to watch in the living room ( 19 kids & counting, Say Yes to the Dress or Lifetime movies I DVR for me to watch when I am tired of Duck Dynasty How its Made.. Sports. Crime Drama's or Cartoons). He climbs into bed and cuddles up next to me looking at me when those big blue eyes and says, "Mom I think we need to have another baby"
The manor he chose to express his thoughts was comical to me, and made me laugh out loud!! It also made my heart lurch at the same time! I told him again what I told him all those years ago, it was all in God's timing. Laughing, I tell Rod what Korbin said the night day and he responds much in the same way: audible laughter!
Soberly he says when God provided a full time job we can begin to think about and discuss about what God has planned for our family size.February 4, God provided a full time job to Rod. Now we must begin to face the reality that because of medical issues we can not wait another five years to have another baby. To risk factors are too high, and as much as I KNOW God is in control we pray for wisdom to make wise decisions for a purpose. It is not prudent to not be good stewards for the wisdom God gives to you.
Yet, my heart aches...
I long to have a daughter to create the relationship with her that I did not have with my mom..
I want selfishly to give Korbin all that he asks for & more in everything...
I want to nurse a baby for the goal of 6-9 months, which is what I wanted to do with Kon but it was interrupted by having my gallbladder removed via Emergency Surgery and serious complications to follow...
I wish to have a baby fall asleep on my shoulder..
More than anything, I want to give Rod the little girl he secretly dreams of walking down the isle one day and playing tea party with and teaching how to play baseball...
Today my cousin gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl who has the name that Rod would have given to his little girl, today is also the day after his birthday. I love my cousin and wish her nothing but the best with new little blessing coming into her family but the reality of all of this weighs on me today and my heart is heavy.
I never thought I would struggle with secondary infertility and the emotional toll it takes on you. I never thought my heart would ache in such capacity when my arms are full of two little roughly, toughy little boys. I never thought all of this would be such an issue to contend with!!
There is a song my friend Judy told me to sing when I am down, and counting my problems rather than my blessings :" Counting your blessing name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done!"
Counting the blessings of even having Korbin and Konnor, I can see exactly what they Lord has done and no matter what the future holds, I will count myself extremely blessed to be a mother to these amazing little boys!!
~Kristy~
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Today is the Day!!
My Valentines Day celebration was interrupted for the funeral of a childhood friend. I was heart broken and devastated at the news of a friend passing away at 32, before she met the man of her dream. Before he got married or had kids of her own. Before she had or felt so many of the things I take for granted.
At the funeral home, I stepped back in time sharing memories and meeting people that I shared my childhood with, as now adults. Little to my surprise, I had been sharing time in worship with some of these people and did not know it. My childhood vision of these adults, did not adjust for them to age as I did. So, I had been seeing them for years now, and did not know it.
I seen my 4th grade BFF, J but it was not the same as part of our trio was missing. Amy's sister, L tried to step into the spot and share the memories and be apart of the jokes. But the piece to our puzzle was 1/2 mile down the road at Michigan Memorial Cemetery, where she was laid to rest in 2005 at the age of 28.
November 2005, I was celebrating Korbins first birthday. It was rubber ducky themed and he had just began to walk with some assistance. We lived in Rview, and I had no idea what was transpiring in the world around me. I was a full time stay at home mom, and I was surrounded with the daily tasks of that. I was eating to deal with the memories and feelings that arose from my own childhood. It would have been great to have Amy to talk too about all of that, some how we just clicked and knew what to say to each other.
The only time I remember never "clicking" was the year my mom died. 1999. My emotions were completely running on adrenaline and I was not sleeping for fear of dying in my sleep, as my mom did. Amy was living in Canada with her husband & little boy. She needed me as much as I needed her but we were going in completely opposite directions. For the first time in more than 15 years since we had met, we not even in the same book much less on the same page. I was sitting at the front desk working doing check in's, handling mail and a multitude of other tasks.Talking to Amy on the phone one particular day while I was there. I remember telling her, " I just can not handle this right now, Ame's. I am sorry I just can't" She said she understood. I never ever thought that day in early 2000, would be the last time we would speak.
To stand in the funeral home and look at the pictures of Paula & her big sister, Amy, was a double edged sword for me. In that moment, I was hurting for Paula's life being cut so short. Yet, I was hurting for the person, I never got to say Good-bye too. The person's grave I had stood over, and asked myself again and again, how did this happen??? The person I would not have gotten through those rough days as a child with an uncertain home life without her. I laughed and cried with Amy with all the things we spoke about and shared, and all the things we never said because we did not have too. We just clicked.
My breath was caught in my throat when Amy's step-mom introduced me to Amy's little, not so little, boy. He looked so much like his mom, I found it hard to breath!! I wanted to hug him, but refrained. I shook his hand instead. I smiled kindly at his dad, he appeared to be taking good care of Amy's pride & joy, and for that I was thankful. I offered the only thing I could in the moment, " I have plenty of stories of your mom from when we were kids and would love to share them with you when you would like to hear them." He smiled kindly, and I tried not to cry. He has his mom's eye's and ear's ( that she tried to constantly hide because she did not like them). His hair coloring is that reddish brown and I think he has her freckles but I did not get close enough to see. I did not want to freak the poor boy out by blubbering all over him!!
I really hope he calls one day, it is the least I can do to make sure my friends son has good memories of her. I know her family has good memories and will pass them along, but there is something different when your mom's friends have good memories. I know this first hand...
By the end Wednesday afternoon, I was beyond exhausted and entirely too emotional. I had forgotten to do the boys &Rod's little treats for the day, which caused more tears. I have a ton of fruit to cute for the 3rd grade fruit kabob's the next day and 48 GF rice krispie treats to make, as well as to make sure Korb's Val Cards were done. Not to mention dinner?!
I was looking forward to the distraction the next day being in Korbin's class room for his Valentine's Celebration. Those kids are crazy but I love being with them! So does Konnor, and they enjoy him too!
Valentine's Day must go on, and it did. We celebrated with our traditional candle lit dinner for 4, and Rod did his best to make the day extra special for me. Before he left for work, he gave me my favorite chocolates. After school, the boys gave me a card and a necklace from them. Then, just when I think Rod had out done himself, he came giving me a dozen red & while Tulips.
It was a nice way to seperate from the pain &sadness earlier in the week and love on my family. We do not have a promise of tomorrow, and we laid my childood to rest, I realized yet again: Today is the day for memories. Today is the day to tell someone about Jesus. Today is the day to be nice to a stranger. Today is the day to tell the people you love, that you love them. Today is the day...(fill in the blank)!!
We have no promise of tomorrow, today is the day!!
~Kristy~
At the funeral home, I stepped back in time sharing memories and meeting people that I shared my childhood with, as now adults. Little to my surprise, I had been sharing time in worship with some of these people and did not know it. My childhood vision of these adults, did not adjust for them to age as I did. So, I had been seeing them for years now, and did not know it.
I seen my 4th grade BFF, J but it was not the same as part of our trio was missing. Amy's sister, L tried to step into the spot and share the memories and be apart of the jokes. But the piece to our puzzle was 1/2 mile down the road at Michigan Memorial Cemetery, where she was laid to rest in 2005 at the age of 28.
November 2005, I was celebrating Korbins first birthday. It was rubber ducky themed and he had just began to walk with some assistance. We lived in Rview, and I had no idea what was transpiring in the world around me. I was a full time stay at home mom, and I was surrounded with the daily tasks of that. I was eating to deal with the memories and feelings that arose from my own childhood. It would have been great to have Amy to talk too about all of that, some how we just clicked and knew what to say to each other.
The only time I remember never "clicking" was the year my mom died. 1999. My emotions were completely running on adrenaline and I was not sleeping for fear of dying in my sleep, as my mom did. Amy was living in Canada with her husband & little boy. She needed me as much as I needed her but we were going in completely opposite directions. For the first time in more than 15 years since we had met, we not even in the same book much less on the same page. I was sitting at the front desk working doing check in's, handling mail and a multitude of other tasks.Talking to Amy on the phone one particular day while I was there. I remember telling her, " I just can not handle this right now, Ame's. I am sorry I just can't" She said she understood. I never ever thought that day in early 2000, would be the last time we would speak.
To stand in the funeral home and look at the pictures of Paula & her big sister, Amy, was a double edged sword for me. In that moment, I was hurting for Paula's life being cut so short. Yet, I was hurting for the person, I never got to say Good-bye too. The person's grave I had stood over, and asked myself again and again, how did this happen??? The person I would not have gotten through those rough days as a child with an uncertain home life without her. I laughed and cried with Amy with all the things we spoke about and shared, and all the things we never said because we did not have too. We just clicked.
My breath was caught in my throat when Amy's step-mom introduced me to Amy's little, not so little, boy. He looked so much like his mom, I found it hard to breath!! I wanted to hug him, but refrained. I shook his hand instead. I smiled kindly at his dad, he appeared to be taking good care of Amy's pride & joy, and for that I was thankful. I offered the only thing I could in the moment, " I have plenty of stories of your mom from when we were kids and would love to share them with you when you would like to hear them." He smiled kindly, and I tried not to cry. He has his mom's eye's and ear's ( that she tried to constantly hide because she did not like them). His hair coloring is that reddish brown and I think he has her freckles but I did not get close enough to see. I did not want to freak the poor boy out by blubbering all over him!!
I really hope he calls one day, it is the least I can do to make sure my friends son has good memories of her. I know her family has good memories and will pass them along, but there is something different when your mom's friends have good memories. I know this first hand...
By the end Wednesday afternoon, I was beyond exhausted and entirely too emotional. I had forgotten to do the boys &Rod's little treats for the day, which caused more tears. I have a ton of fruit to cute for the 3rd grade fruit kabob's the next day and 48 GF rice krispie treats to make, as well as to make sure Korb's Val Cards were done. Not to mention dinner?!
I was looking forward to the distraction the next day being in Korbin's class room for his Valentine's Celebration. Those kids are crazy but I love being with them! So does Konnor, and they enjoy him too!
Valentine's Day must go on, and it did. We celebrated with our traditional candle lit dinner for 4, and Rod did his best to make the day extra special for me. Before he left for work, he gave me my favorite chocolates. After school, the boys gave me a card and a necklace from them. Then, just when I think Rod had out done himself, he came giving me a dozen red & while Tulips.
It was a nice way to seperate from the pain &sadness earlier in the week and love on my family. We do not have a promise of tomorrow, and we laid my childood to rest, I realized yet again: Today is the day for memories. Today is the day to tell someone about Jesus. Today is the day to be nice to a stranger. Today is the day to tell the people you love, that you love them. Today is the day...(fill in the blank)!!
We have no promise of tomorrow, today is the day!!
~Kristy~
Monday, February 11, 2013
Family Style
This year seems to be passing by quickly, and I am planning another holiday celebration again already.
I believe I have blogged before about how we do alot of our holdays here; Family Style. Making memories is so important to me!Making memories with my husband. Making memories with my children. Making memories for me. No amount of money can buy them, and no one can take them away from you.No one can tell you that you are making your memories the wrong way and no celebrity has cornered the market on having them. They are available to each person to mold and shape and persue as they wish.
This Valentines Day will be another memorable event here and with Konnor another year older, he will be able to understand what is going on here a little more. With that being said, I decided to change things up a bit.
Since Valentines Day is on Thursday, I thought I would do something little each day for Rod & the boys leading up to Valentines Day.
I chose to hand write the notes because I was cleaning Korbins room the other day and I came across several notes I had written to him that he had kept. If he continues to keep them, I want him to have my hand writting rather than computer ink. Even if the computer generated ones would be prettier.
My day was interupted by a water main break at the elementry school, so how I was going to deliver the little lovies was also interupted. I gave Rod his with his ipod, and asked him to put them away. He had headed to do so, when he realized there was something else with the silver-gray ipod. I heard him laugh from the hallway as he read the card.
The boys was laid on thier beds to find. To which they have not yet. Tomorrow's delivery will be with lunches, so I will not know thier responses until later.
I am still not sure what Wednesday's and Thursday's little lovies will be but pintrest if FULL of idea's and so is a cute little blog I found called We love being Mom's. It is authored by a set of twins, so do not get scared off by the "We"!!
On Thursday our festivities will end will our traditional candle dinner for four, Lady & the Tramp Spaghetti (with GF pasta this year and GF rolls) and a heart shaped large GF chocolate chip cookie. I dye our sparking white grape juice red and serve it in real wine glasses as I permeate the air with the musical stylings of the Three Tenors.
Our decorates a extremely expensive and are remade/purchased every years because of thier one of a kind status.
I LOVE handmade decorations! It also helps to create memories getting ready for the "Big" day too!!
I hope this gives you a couple of idea's of how to celebrate Valentine's Day Family Style! Our kids will be grown up and out of our house faster than we realize and we want to create memories with them that will transend time!!
Plus, Rod and I celebrate our marriage and romance more than just on February 14th, we do not need one date once a year to show each other that we care, and thats what makes it easier to have more fun as a family, because we are not missing anything as a couple.
Happy Soon 2 B Valentines Day!
~Kristy~
I believe I have blogged before about how we do alot of our holdays here; Family Style. Making memories is so important to me!Making memories with my husband. Making memories with my children. Making memories for me. No amount of money can buy them, and no one can take them away from you.No one can tell you that you are making your memories the wrong way and no celebrity has cornered the market on having them. They are available to each person to mold and shape and persue as they wish.
This Valentines Day will be another memorable event here and with Konnor another year older, he will be able to understand what is going on here a little more. With that being said, I decided to change things up a bit.
Since Valentines Day is on Thursday, I thought I would do something little each day for Rod & the boys leading up to Valentines Day.
 |
| This was for Rod, a can of Altoids with a hand written card that says, " You are Mint 4 Me". |
 |
| This is for the boys, a hand written heart that says, " I am a "Sucker" for your Hugs & Kisses" Both say Hapy Soon 2 B Valentine's Day!! |
I chose to hand write the notes because I was cleaning Korbins room the other day and I came across several notes I had written to him that he had kept. If he continues to keep them, I want him to have my hand writting rather than computer ink. Even if the computer generated ones would be prettier.
My day was interupted by a water main break at the elementry school, so how I was going to deliver the little lovies was also interupted. I gave Rod his with his ipod, and asked him to put them away. He had headed to do so, when he realized there was something else with the silver-gray ipod. I heard him laugh from the hallway as he read the card.
The boys was laid on thier beds to find. To which they have not yet. Tomorrow's delivery will be with lunches, so I will not know thier responses until later.
 |
| Rod's Swedish Fish will say, " I am lucky to have you. You are a Great Catch" |
 |
| The boys will say, " I could not have "Reeled In" a better son than you! |
I am still not sure what Wednesday's and Thursday's little lovies will be but pintrest if FULL of idea's and so is a cute little blog I found called We love being Mom's. It is authored by a set of twins, so do not get scared off by the "We"!!
On Thursday our festivities will end will our traditional candle dinner for four, Lady & the Tramp Spaghetti (with GF pasta this year and GF rolls) and a heart shaped large GF chocolate chip cookie. I dye our sparking white grape juice red and serve it in real wine glasses as I permeate the air with the musical stylings of the Three Tenors.
Our decorates a extremely expensive and are remade/purchased every years because of thier one of a kind status.
I LOVE handmade decorations! It also helps to create memories getting ready for the "Big" day too!!
I hope this gives you a couple of idea's of how to celebrate Valentine's Day Family Style! Our kids will be grown up and out of our house faster than we realize and we want to create memories with them that will transend time!!
Plus, Rod and I celebrate our marriage and romance more than just on February 14th, we do not need one date once a year to show each other that we care, and thats what makes it easier to have more fun as a family, because we are not missing anything as a couple.
Happy Soon 2 B Valentines Day!
~Kristy~
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Cabin Fever
With Cabin fever setting in, it seems as if ALL the boys so it fight!!
I feel as if they argue one more time, I am going to loose my mind!!
No wonder the doctor told me the other day told me my blood pressure was high, 150/100 high!! This explains the continuous headache however.
Last night was the final straw with arguing brothers which ended with both boys sitting in opposite bedrooms in the quiet. It was the first quiet that I had heard with both boys awake in a long time. Too long, in fact!!
I never thought I would be that Mom, that one that passively yells her child's name in a monotone voice while he never responds. Well, on Korbins walk home from school today where I was trying to ask him to stop kicking the snow before he kicked something one of the boys ahead of him dropped seconds before. I became her, and in 24 hours I went from shreeking at my children like a wild lunatic to the teacher yelling "Bueller, Bueller, Bueller" from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
In between, I cried because I have no idea how I got here!! I just kept hearing the speakers words from Sunday's sermon at church,".. you have to have a balance between love and structure." Lately if feels as if I am failing in every aspect of parenting in an effort to simply find out what is wrong with Korbin's allergies. I am overwhelmed emotionally and where there use to be structure in excess there is nothing to replace it and things are reck-loose.
Rod laughs audibly as I tell him I feel like the mice are taking over the ship, because he really knows I would never let things get to that point. But my emotions feel as I am to that point!!
I had this grand vision that will all my planning, and reading, and researching that we would wake up one day and just be GF. But even with my best of intentions, I am failing. I thought last night I had made a GF dinner with chicken, broccoli, brown rice,and cheese. Until I read soup can this morning as I placed it in the recycling bin, that there was Gluten in it?! UGH!!!
I just want to throw up my hands, and run to the pizza store to drown my sorrows and frustrations in pepperoni and cheese!!!
As I sit here and type, I have one boy sitting on the couch playing a video game and another boy laying on the floor watching cartoons. I look past the computer, my heart swells as look beautiful little faces and the biggest/cutest ears that any mother could love!! It takes everything I have not to get up and nibble on their ears! I love their ears!! It is the thing they inherited from my Papaw Collins; Ears.
I know that so many mothers go through a variety of emotions raising thier children,and I am so thankful I can humble myself and ask the Lord for forgiveness, grace and wisdom. I am not sure how I could do this without Him!!I am everything I am because He loves Me!! So greatful to be a child of the King!!
Its kinda funny at the beginning of this post, I was so exasperated! In a moments notice, a glace sideways off my my computer and God changed everything in an instance. Kinda cool huh?!
Tomorrow is a new day, and I am sure that it will bring its own challenges but one thing I know for sure is that He will never leave me or forsake me, even during Cabin Fever ( which can not end soon enough!!).
~Kristy~
Friday, February 1, 2013
Week-end Fun
~Happy Febraury 2013~
Today is the first day of the new month and it is hard to believe that Korbin is signing up for Baseball tonight when Rod gets home from work tonight. They raised the price this year from $65.00 last year to $85.00, which is disappointing since baseball is over before school gets out and it is an extremely unorganized legugue. Plus alot of time it feels like the participates are engaging in 8th grade student council instead of thier children's baseball experience. Fall Ball had none of these feelings/ experiences and much more enjoyable for the players and parents. In addition to the sign-ups fee's, we have to sell $100 in raffle tickets.
Tomorrow, Korbin stats a baseball hitting clinic. It goes from 9:30 am to approximately 11:30 am every Saturday in the month of February. This will hopefully get him ready for try-outs in March. Depending on how he does/feels, they offer another clinic on Saturdays in March, Hopefully the one on one assistance will help him to hit and field the ball better, He is a great catcher, and in fieldsmen. Korbin played 2 years of t-ball and last season was second year of farm league .
His first year, Korbin had a coach named M. Shields. At age 6, Korbin was the youngest boy on the team and M. worked him hard and he improved alot his supervisions and his encouragement.It was sad when he did not return the next season. Last year Rod coached his team and had the makings of a great year until a group of self imposed sissy-parents decided that they needed to coach from the bench and never bring their kids to practice. In addition to teaching their kids to earn their position, every time the boys were rotated they would call the league president and cry to him. These parents destroyed our teams moral and taught the kids to whine and blame rather than to work hard and give it their all. It was hard to see and hear these people disrespect my man who gave it his all long after they put their kids to bed and went to bed themselves.
I often wonder how people who conduct themselves in this manor can sleep at night.
After coaching Korbins soccer team for 6 season, Rod has never inquired these types of problems and it is hard to tell if he will volunteer again or be asked to volunteer because of the lies and constant exuberant tales of parents who obviously have no people skills whatsoever.
After Korbins baseball clinic, we will be heading to A2 for some shoping and dinner at a steak place. Rod promised us a lovely dinner out when he got hired full time at his current company. He will start Monday, Febuary 4th. So we will celebrate this week-end before our gluten free adventure also starting on Monday. Our life is changing in lots of ways!
As I sit here & write, I am icing my right knee. There is lots of snow on the ground and we walk to school at 3:07 Monday-Friday to get Korbin from school. For the most parts these walks are unadventurious but yesterday we got inside and when the water met the hard wood floor down went Mommy. I hit my head on the fridge and ne knee hit the wall. I felt like I had hit a thousand shards of glass. The room began to spin and I thought I was going to be sick.
When I got it together and got off the floor, I called Rod at work. He informed me in no uncertain terms he was talking me to the hospital. There, they aspirated my knee, took x-rays and gave me a cortizone shots. It was a long night and I missed visiting my friend H in the hospital which hurt my heart as much as my now aching knee.
I am praying that all the plans we have for tomorrow will be as easy and as fun as we orginally planned for!!
Have a great week-end and enjoy the super bowl, if you are watching!!
~Kristy~
Today is the first day of the new month and it is hard to believe that Korbin is signing up for Baseball tonight when Rod gets home from work tonight. They raised the price this year from $65.00 last year to $85.00, which is disappointing since baseball is over before school gets out and it is an extremely unorganized legugue. Plus alot of time it feels like the participates are engaging in 8th grade student council instead of thier children's baseball experience. Fall Ball had none of these feelings/ experiences and much more enjoyable for the players and parents. In addition to the sign-ups fee's, we have to sell $100 in raffle tickets.
Tomorrow, Korbin stats a baseball hitting clinic. It goes from 9:30 am to approximately 11:30 am every Saturday in the month of February. This will hopefully get him ready for try-outs in March. Depending on how he does/feels, they offer another clinic on Saturdays in March, Hopefully the one on one assistance will help him to hit and field the ball better, He is a great catcher, and in fieldsmen. Korbin played 2 years of t-ball and last season was second year of farm league .
His first year, Korbin had a coach named M. Shields. At age 6, Korbin was the youngest boy on the team and M. worked him hard and he improved alot his supervisions and his encouragement.It was sad when he did not return the next season. Last year Rod coached his team and had the makings of a great year until a group of self imposed sissy-parents decided that they needed to coach from the bench and never bring their kids to practice. In addition to teaching their kids to earn their position, every time the boys were rotated they would call the league president and cry to him. These parents destroyed our teams moral and taught the kids to whine and blame rather than to work hard and give it their all. It was hard to see and hear these people disrespect my man who gave it his all long after they put their kids to bed and went to bed themselves.
I often wonder how people who conduct themselves in this manor can sleep at night.
After coaching Korbins soccer team for 6 season, Rod has never inquired these types of problems and it is hard to tell if he will volunteer again or be asked to volunteer because of the lies and constant exuberant tales of parents who obviously have no people skills whatsoever.
After Korbins baseball clinic, we will be heading to A2 for some shoping and dinner at a steak place. Rod promised us a lovely dinner out when he got hired full time at his current company. He will start Monday, Febuary 4th. So we will celebrate this week-end before our gluten free adventure also starting on Monday. Our life is changing in lots of ways!
As I sit here & write, I am icing my right knee. There is lots of snow on the ground and we walk to school at 3:07 Monday-Friday to get Korbin from school. For the most parts these walks are unadventurious but yesterday we got inside and when the water met the hard wood floor down went Mommy. I hit my head on the fridge and ne knee hit the wall. I felt like I had hit a thousand shards of glass. The room began to spin and I thought I was going to be sick.
When I got it together and got off the floor, I called Rod at work. He informed me in no uncertain terms he was talking me to the hospital. There, they aspirated my knee, took x-rays and gave me a cortizone shots. It was a long night and I missed visiting my friend H in the hospital which hurt my heart as much as my now aching knee.
I am praying that all the plans we have for tomorrow will be as easy and as fun as we orginally planned for!!
Have a great week-end and enjoy the super bowl, if you are watching!!
~Kristy~
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