Packing! Packing! Packing!

The packing has officially began, and I am so over it already!! Granted, it has been 2 1/2 years since we first moved into this apartment, I am still not looking forward to boxing up all of our things and moving them to another place.

When we signed our lease in Febraury, they exented us a 6 month lease before raising our rent to unmanagable amounts for a 2 bed room unit. As a result, we knew that in July we would be moving. Now July is before us and so is the daunting question of where are we moving?

It stands to reason that most people know where they are going prior to planning to go. However, we are trusting in the Lord that He will provide our needs. Which totally goes against my grain of planning everything to death, but none the less I am putting my faith into action and believing in God's promises.

I will not tell you how hard this is, but Gods word also says " Let patience have her perfect work" which means that through this trial God is working out His plan to exerise patience in our lives. Patience has not always been my strong suit, however, in the last days and months Rod and I have learned a great deal about ourselves and our marriage. Which is why God's word also says in James 1:2 " Count is all Joy when you fall into various trails" because these are things we may not have learned any other way. Both Rod & I are extremely thankful for the things God has shown us; however painful they may have been and how He has strengethen our marriage through these things. Rod truly is the love of my love and I love him more daily, job or not.

So, as I enter day# 3 of packing, I am physically and emotionally exhausted, but ironically optimistic. I know God has our answer, and we are looking forward to how He is going to supply our needs that we may rejoice and give Him all of the praise for what He has done in our lives!!

I need....

Taco Dip!!!! I had it when I was helping a friend out and ever since then I go into craving overload and MUST have some!!! My first craving was so intense I literally called everyone I knew to find out who had a membership to Sam's Club where I could find this premade 5 layer dip that my taste buds were shouting for!!!

When I was pregnant with Korbin, I never had such an intense craving like this. I had a few things that I needed to have, but nothing that I NEEDED to have!

As far as my weighloss surgery diet, this is not the worse thing I could choose. The beans, cheese and light sour cream make it a decent sourse of protien. The fat grams are through the roof, but the chips which are required to eat such a dip are the down fall of the entire dish! I try to get the whole grain tortilla chips, which my budget and availablity allow. However, these days my enitre bypass diet is gone to the dogs!!

When Dr. F said to do what ever it took to gain weight, I was completely astonished and very determined to have a healthy baby. Just as looked at my meal times differantly after I had my weightloss surgery(wls), I looked at it differantly when I got pregnant. As each child is different, so it each pregnancy, I did not anticipate the severe sickness that over took my body in the first four months.

I have spent some time recently trying to figure out how to bounce back from this anything goes diet back to my strict, high protien diet that I need to be on to maintain my weightloss. To date, I have only gained 8 lbs, and look to gain gain 12 more. Which to my estimation, should be mostly baby, water and placenta. However, prior to being pregnant I was 197 which was 18 pounds away from my goal weight of 179 (which is 200lbs away from my highest weight).

Alas, I have 3 months away from delivery and 6-8 weeks after that to figure out exactly when/how I tackle the regain/loss that I need to work on. I had this surgery in order to be healthy for my family and I will make sure that I look up on this next leg of the race just as that- how to stay healthy.As for the taco dip? Praise the Lord, this pregnancy has been pretty typical and that is why I say " Give the Belly what is wants!"

25 weeks and counting

At this gestation, the baby should measure 13 1/2 inches and weigh a pound and a half. Which is about the size of an average rutabaga( which Korbin looked at and said "whew, that thing has alot of hair on it", lol).

At 24 weeks, I had my monthly dr's appointment which ended my 2nd trimester and began my 3rd. I gained 8 pounds, and measure a week smaller than I actaully am. I BP is good, is hanging steady at 100/60 and the baby's heart rate is 150 beats per minute.

Dr. F was happy with my weight gain, although I was completely shocked with gaining that much in the course of one month!!

At my next appointment in July, I will be having my glucose intolerance test which is the mosting discusting thing that you have to drink in a matter of minutes, only for a wls patient to get sick and "dump" on because you chugged a pure liquid sugar cane. What fun?! So, my appointment is estimated to last an hour and half to two hours, which is why I am praying that my dad will be home to help out with Korbin!

Today, Korbin and I went swimming for the first time this summer. The 97 degree tempatures here in Detriot, brought a unique way to keep cool and keep Korbbie busy so with noodle in hand we headed to the pool. My little fish enjoyed himself immensley, as I tried my hand at swimming with a rutabaga under my ribs. As the water relieved some of my back pain, my balance was completely off and I found my face in the water more often than not.

Rod is still unemployed and I am still a stay at home mommy and wife of one and a half! These past days and weeks, through there trail and tribulation, have brought my wonderful husband and I closer together in ways many may not understand. God is amazing, and He has showed us so much about who we are and decisions we need to make in our lives to be close to Him and bond together as a family.

As hard as it may be to say, we are completely thankful for this trail and its high's and low's and how we are able to glorify Him through it all. Through all of our questioning " Where are you Lord" He is has been here all along as in the very beginning of this leg of our journey He gave us a baby as a sign to us, just as He gave Noah a rainbow, that things will be ok. Although I am not sure how or when yet, we trust in Him and Him alone, to provide our needs. God is Good!!!

Music and Misunderstanding

Last week ( at 22 weeks) I began putting headphones on my tummy to let the baby listen a beethoven classical baby CD. Korbin loved this CD prior to being born, so it was naturaul for me to want to do it for this baby as well. It was an event to try and find head phones in this high- tech enviroment, so I began to focus on the task of finding these crazy headphones! Which to my surprise effected Korbin very dramtically.

One night during our family prayer time, Rod asked Korb what he wanted to pray for and his response broke my heart!! " I want to pray that mommy will love as much as she loves the baby!" I was devestated to hear that my little love would even consider the thought that I might not love him as much as our new little miracle. This was the beginning for tears that lasted for two long days as I tried to work through the confusion of how to explain to him that he is not going to be replaced in our family but I could share my love for him with another.

It never occured to me that I could not have enough love for two children. I yearned for this baby for so long, that I loved him the moment I knew he existed, just I did with Korbin. I have heard many say, that your love for your second or subsiquent children is different than the love you have for your first child. However, as much as I love Korbin, I love his brother as much but in a different fashion. Korbin was my first and I grew as a mommy as he grew from an infant into a toddler into this little boy right before my very eyes. This child, I have just as many hopes, dreams, and plans for as my first. However, I am a little older and a little wiser and more steady on my mommy legs than before. I am looking forward to my life with two little boys, and enjoying all those firsts with this little guy too.

As for Korbin, he is an amazing child with a keen sense of understanding and a sensitivity that boogles the mind for being a four year old. And over the following days, Rod and I have reasssured him that he is going to be an amazing big brother and no one will ever take his place in our home or lives, he will always be mommy's little angle bear. He smiles when I say this, and I smile to because I love being a mommy and I know that he is going to love being a big brother too!