New week, same stress!

Last weeks stresses seems to be carrying over into this week. Rod's gout is bothering him, and by the time I got home last night, his big toe was almost the size of his heal. Thank the Lord, that the Dr. refilled his prescription without requiring an appointment.But he is in a lot of pain until the medication begins to work. I am equally thankful that the Lord provided a sitter for Korbin, I felt very at ease leaving Korbin with Sarah last night. She has sat for him in the past, she is a Christan and she doesn't take his attitude but she is not on a power trip about her authority so she is not mean to him. I could breathe a sigh of relief, for half a second. I did not make any sales last night, and I realized that I missed my phone time for last week by 1.89!! So, something has to break soon.
I never realized that my reentry into the working world would be this stressful. Honestly, I am not sure I can make this work. I will give it ago, but I am not confident. Which is sad, because since I have lost a significant amount of weight, I have gained a lot of self confidence. However, this is uncharted waters for me and I am not as "natural" at it as I would like to be.
I am still praying the Rod's company will come through and provide and adquate raise. This would elevate some burden, I would still have to have a job until some of our past isssues are paid off, but I would know that there is an end in sight!!
It's not really that I have a problem working. It's that I feal that my primary job is to care for my child, husband and home and I am just not doing that to my satisfaction. I know that when Korbin stays up crying, that this is not an okey-dokey thing.
Ugh!! If I could put into words the thoughts and fealing that race through my being at this very moment: I am very grateful to God for giving my a chance to help my husband and our family dig our way out of this hole we are in. His provision is evident. I just have no peace in this position. I wish that I did?! I am thankful for Rod's job; with or without a raise. I am thankful for a qualified, loving sitter for Korbin. I am just concerned with where we are headed, the stress is knotting in my shoulders and I need to head to the gym for a run and relieve this stress and clear my head....