I finally have a quiet moment to reflect on 2012, all it has brought and has not brought. To some, this post may be a little premature because most do their reflection on December 30/31, not November.
Did you read my post about passing the regret please? I decided to change it up a little instead of mourning over missed opportunities, I will celebrate what God has given and taken away.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." The Lord laid out the plans for my family and I like a finely tuned instrument, and I just wanted to list a few of the little things that changed my life this year.
1.) I am not sure how my friendship with the Schim family started, but this family showed me what true worship true faith alone is. They put everything, I mean everything out there for God this year when the whole family spent 6 weeks in Costa Rica ministering and loving on people that had never met before. The youngest child being in middle school, sat night after night talking to a man trying to pursued him for Christ. He never gave up, never gave in and never was one of "those". Ya know "those" pushy people who have the right desire in their heart who knock on your door to tell you about God but their mannerism turn you off instead of on? Little G never did that, his honesty, sincerity and passion for this man, is what most adult men dream about doing by witnessing in this manor. I have to give it up to H, because she is a teen-age girly girl and she never once complained about sleeping on a floor, taking cold showers or washing people's feet like Jesus did. I do not know H as well as some, but I wish I was a teen-ager that followed that hard after her God and loved her parents enough to trust them to take her some place completely outta her comfort zone. My friendship with Mama H is astounding! She is that prayer warrior friend that every Christan should have. She helps pick me up when I am down, she never judges me and she has a crazy faith that I aspire to have. Their was a heart breaking moment in Costa Rica when she could have given up, packed up and came home. But instead she put her hand in the hand of God, and said, "For saking all, I trust you." Man! That is faith! On the flip side of crazy faith is her crazy husband, K. K along with another friend I will talk about later, has really I mean REALLY shown me how to worship!! I thought I knew how to worship before coming to Kirby Church but boy, was I wrong! I was hurting in my soul after leaving our last church, and a few things I experienced there. But through the friendship of the Schim family, I learned the true meaning of leaving at the alter from K. He has a crazy, mad passion for his Lord and Savior, and if you are with him for a moment you can feel something different about him. If you don't you should check you pulse, seriously! K brings the gospel to your front door in a manor you can "get it". K said once that he thought he missed the opportunity for his calling, but man friend!! I totally do not think so, you and your family have changed my life forever!!
2.) Small group. These women uplifted me in my darkest times. Sharing my secrets and my joys. I love these ladies!
3.)My husband. This year there was a point Rod was lower than I had ever seen or experienced before. I had no idea what I was doing, or how to continue to help him or if my help was hurting him. But God knew what he was doing. This is my blog, not my husbands. His story is his to tell, and for that reason I will not go into to much detail but one moment our life was flipped turned upside down and God totally changed "meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:20). Today Rod, although not perfect, it trying harder to "put of the old man" as Paul says in the book of Ephesians. I love to see him worship and some of our greatest moments in life these days, are spent side by side worshipping together at church. The "everyone service", changed us both forever, as well as the brotherhood Rod feels in his small group. I could not list these men even if I wanted too because what happens in small group stays in small group. It may sound silly to you, but it allows for a freedom that you can only describe once you have experienced. These men know who they are, and I am thankful for the friendship they have provided Rod.
4.) My wedding band it super loose because of my weight loss, and as a result I wear it on my middle finger. Never did I expect to loose it in the front yard on a very dark night. Rod & I searched for HOURS in the dark on our hands & knee's, only to come up with one of the two parts of the ring set. I cried most of the night, and begged God to please help me to find my ring! It was more than the ring, it was the symbol of what it meant that I needed to find. I reluctantly asked for prayer about finding a lost object, and K asked bluntly what did I loose?? Since I thought it was best not to lie in church, I told my Sunday morning class about my ring. During the second day of crawling around on our leaf filled lawn, two cars pulled up in front of our house and out poured my Sunday morning class and all of thier kids to help search through our lawn to find my ring. My heart was over flowing with the love I felt from my friends at that moment. Did you ever find a group of people you knew you were meant to be with?? That was the moment when down on my knees searching for my ring that my search became praise. When Rod & I left our last church, we lost many friends and I mourned the loss of their friendship for a long time. It was amazing how God had replaced those friendships 10 fold, with honest sincere friends who in our time of craziness never stepped back and through their hands up but joined in! My sincerest prayer is that my boys have friends like this when they are adults!
5.) Korbin's Testimony. We sat together on his bed trying to write out his testimony. It had to be his words, but for a 7 & 9/10ths year old boy putting your feelings into words is very, very hard! As he began to cry in frustration, I left him alone to be with his thoughts. After a few minutes, the words flowed and it was amazing to see God working through my baby. It was just as amazing to hear his word broadcast through out the church just moments before he was baptized.
6) God's perfect timing. Just 2 weeks before Rod's unemployment was do to run out completely, the Lord lead Rod to the right job. We received his very last UIA check the very day he started with the company he is at now. Of course, we are still praying that the temporary assignment will become permanent but we can very literally see that God will never leave us nor forsake us.
7.) On Wednesday night our church did a "move" service where everyone in the church changed places, the adults were where the kids usually were, the teens were where the adults had always been and the kids moved to the teens spot. In one of the rooms, Ms. W shared a very personal, private story about " Be Still and Know that I am God". Recently, I had purchased a small little plaque that quotes the scripture and I really was unsure why I had to have that particular item, but without thinking too long I purchase the 5.99 item and was on my way. It was clear to me that night, why God had laid on my heart that item and now He was using Ms. W's story to tell me again, "Be Still and Know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).
It is clear to me now, that is post is meant to be one of several or it will be w a y too long. I will continue on again tomorrow, as we start a new month, I will continue to reflect on 25 little things!
~Kristy~
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Can you pass the regret please??
*This was written on Novemeber 12, 2012 but for some reason did not get published*
I sometimes feel like shame and regret sit on my table just like the salt and pepper shakers, and we pass them around sprinking them here, there and everywhere. Sometimes we have more and sometimes less, but we season our life with shame and regret instead of Gods abundant love and blessings which is not how our Lord intended us to live.
Someone told me once that Rod's unemployment was my fault because I did not allow him to spend our money in a certain manor. This particular person which speaking of tithing ( which is another story/topic for another time). Regardless what this persons intention was, I carried around the shame of putting my family in this perdicament and the regret of not doing what this person assumed was the right thing to do.
Let's start there; sometimes the right thing to do can become the wrong thing if it is done with the wrong attitude. God wants a cheerful giver. Even if I would have tithed but done so expecting something in return or in a spirit of duty rather than given freely out of God so freely gave to us, then there is no way to know that we still would not have ended up where we were in order for God to change our attitudes and our hearts to be closer to Him.
Which was ultimately God's plan, by the way.To bring Rod and I and our family into the right frame of worship that was acceptable and pleasing to Him, not just out of a sence of duty or obligation.
But in the midst of my regret, I could not see what God was saying, and doing in us and for us. I wish I would have read more of my bible during those times, I would have read " But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, Philippians 3:13"
If you look back in life and regret choosing a certain path, or mourn for missed opportunities, just stop thinking that way the moment you catch yourself doing that! I wish I would have done that more, realizing that this path is the path God had chosen for me and what ever choices I made in my "Free Will" most likely would have lead me here, because both God and I know that I do not learn things the easy way. Sad but true.
When you see missed opportunities and can redirect your regret, it means that you have become more mature, that you have made significant progress in term of insights and competence, and that you are able to achieve much more if you encounter similar situations again.
So the next time you see missed opportunities that you’d failed to see in the past, you should celebrate because it indicates that you have been growing. The more frequent and the sooner you spot missed opportunities that have passed you by, the more it indicates that you are rapidly improving and growing.
I look back ahead now and see that the place that I am in allows me to tithe in the right spirit because they do not focus on the obvious, money is so many peoples achilles heal and can cause more hurt, shame and regret than some people can ever begin to imagine. Instead they take thier need for money or goods, to God. Who is the giver of everything we have anyway right? So why not start with Him in your need to remove your regret, just as I did.
It is never easy! But part of removing past your regrets is forgiving yourself for missing oppertunities.
The Bible makes it clear that no one is exempt from sin, but if you confess your sin, you will receive forgiveness (1 John 1:8-9). True repentance leaves no regret! This is God’s promise. Repent! Regret isn’t repentence. Regret only brings negative emotions and thoughts, but don’t confuse it with genuine repentance and humility.
How do you get over regrets?
Here is the list of a few things that may be helpful ( I wish these were mine, but they were in some sermon notes I found when I began thinking about how I regret over so much!)
Be successful now: No need for regret or mid-life crisis. You can have success now if you start meditating on God’s word and obey, because God had promised that we will prosper if we obey His commands and think about His words day and night. (Psalm 1:2-3, Deuteronomy 28:13, John 15:4-7)
Let God speaks to you: God is the giver of consolations. If you practice spiritual disciplines such as prayer and solitude, in time you will learn how to pay attention to God’s voice, and every time He speaks, He gently reminds and comforts. Although the Lord does rebuke us, He will never do so carelessly like humans do. I tend to have excessive guilt and regrets easily, but instead of forcing myself to be positive, I let God speaks to my heart. Every time I do that, my self-doubts & imaginary guilt will be gone.Speed over stall: Most obstacles are psychological rather than real. Regrets breed stalls. You have to realize that it doesn’t take really long to really make real progress in anything, be it skills, academics, careers, relationships, or any other achievements. If the matter you worry about is mainly an issue of competence, please understand that competence can be improved very quickly if you just stop stalling and start taking action.
Forgive yourselves: If you keep beating yourselves up over past sins and the consequences of sins, you haven’t forgiven yourselves yet. The Lord make it clear that if you don’t others, He will not forgive you (Matthew 18: 21-35). This includes forgiving yourself! If you don’t forgive yourself, the Lord won’t forgive you!
Repent and Godly Sorrow: Don’t beat yourself up and create worldly sorrow. A Christian is to walk with the Spirit, so he or she should feel guilty only if the Spirit of God rebukes him or her, and bring his or her sins to light. It’s easy to become legalistic and perfectionistic.
Write Journals: You don’t know what your thoughts are until you write them down. Memory is unreliable; it is a subjective interpretation of what really happened. And the longer time passed, the more easy it is to twist your memory. To prevent imaginative regret, make journal entry regularly so when you doubt yourself in the future, you can always refer to the journal and check what exactly were going on in the past. This help you sympathize with your past.
Acceptance: Almost 90%+ of the outcomes in life have occurred because of your choices and character. In the future you are likely to repeat the way you have done things in the past anyway, so don’t spend your energy to regret the past, but focus on character growth and learning to make wiser choices now. No matter how imperfect you were, this was you. You have to accept yourself, knowing that you have been trying the best, with the resources and experiences that you had at the times.
I would like to start seasoning my life with joy and love rather than shame and regret, and the only way to really do that is to forgive myself and to move on. It sounds simple but it rarely is. But anything worth having is worth fighting for, and a right relationship with the Savior is definately worth fighting for. And a little less burden & a abundant life while living here on earth is an added benefit too ;-)
~Kristy~
I sometimes feel like shame and regret sit on my table just like the salt and pepper shakers, and we pass them around sprinking them here, there and everywhere. Sometimes we have more and sometimes less, but we season our life with shame and regret instead of Gods abundant love and blessings which is not how our Lord intended us to live.
Someone told me once that Rod's unemployment was my fault because I did not allow him to spend our money in a certain manor. This particular person which speaking of tithing ( which is another story/topic for another time). Regardless what this persons intention was, I carried around the shame of putting my family in this perdicament and the regret of not doing what this person assumed was the right thing to do.
Let's start there; sometimes the right thing to do can become the wrong thing if it is done with the wrong attitude. God wants a cheerful giver. Even if I would have tithed but done so expecting something in return or in a spirit of duty rather than given freely out of God so freely gave to us, then there is no way to know that we still would not have ended up where we were in order for God to change our attitudes and our hearts to be closer to Him.
Which was ultimately God's plan, by the way.To bring Rod and I and our family into the right frame of worship that was acceptable and pleasing to Him, not just out of a sence of duty or obligation.
But in the midst of my regret, I could not see what God was saying, and doing in us and for us. I wish I would have read more of my bible during those times, I would have read " But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, Philippians 3:13"
If you look back in life and regret choosing a certain path, or mourn for missed opportunities, just stop thinking that way the moment you catch yourself doing that! I wish I would have done that more, realizing that this path is the path God had chosen for me and what ever choices I made in my "Free Will" most likely would have lead me here, because both God and I know that I do not learn things the easy way. Sad but true.
When you see missed opportunities and can redirect your regret, it means that you have become more mature, that you have made significant progress in term of insights and competence, and that you are able to achieve much more if you encounter similar situations again.
So the next time you see missed opportunities that you’d failed to see in the past, you should celebrate because it indicates that you have been growing. The more frequent and the sooner you spot missed opportunities that have passed you by, the more it indicates that you are rapidly improving and growing.
I look back ahead now and see that the place that I am in allows me to tithe in the right spirit because they do not focus on the obvious, money is so many peoples achilles heal and can cause more hurt, shame and regret than some people can ever begin to imagine. Instead they take thier need for money or goods, to God. Who is the giver of everything we have anyway right? So why not start with Him in your need to remove your regret, just as I did.
It is never easy! But part of removing past your regrets is forgiving yourself for missing oppertunities.
The Bible makes it clear that no one is exempt from sin, but if you confess your sin, you will receive forgiveness (1 John 1:8-9). True repentance leaves no regret! This is God’s promise. Repent! Regret isn’t repentence. Regret only brings negative emotions and thoughts, but don’t confuse it with genuine repentance and humility.
How do you get over regrets?
Here is the list of a few things that may be helpful ( I wish these were mine, but they were in some sermon notes I found when I began thinking about how I regret over so much!)
Be successful now: No need for regret or mid-life crisis. You can have success now if you start meditating on God’s word and obey, because God had promised that we will prosper if we obey His commands and think about His words day and night. (Psalm 1:2-3, Deuteronomy 28:13, John 15:4-7)
Let God speaks to you: God is the giver of consolations. If you practice spiritual disciplines such as prayer and solitude, in time you will learn how to pay attention to God’s voice, and every time He speaks, He gently reminds and comforts. Although the Lord does rebuke us, He will never do so carelessly like humans do. I tend to have excessive guilt and regrets easily, but instead of forcing myself to be positive, I let God speaks to my heart. Every time I do that, my self-doubts & imaginary guilt will be gone.Speed over stall: Most obstacles are psychological rather than real. Regrets breed stalls. You have to realize that it doesn’t take really long to really make real progress in anything, be it skills, academics, careers, relationships, or any other achievements. If the matter you worry about is mainly an issue of competence, please understand that competence can be improved very quickly if you just stop stalling and start taking action.
Forgive yourselves: If you keep beating yourselves up over past sins and the consequences of sins, you haven’t forgiven yourselves yet. The Lord make it clear that if you don’t others, He will not forgive you (Matthew 18: 21-35). This includes forgiving yourself! If you don’t forgive yourself, the Lord won’t forgive you!
Repent and Godly Sorrow: Don’t beat yourself up and create worldly sorrow. A Christian is to walk with the Spirit, so he or she should feel guilty only if the Spirit of God rebukes him or her, and bring his or her sins to light. It’s easy to become legalistic and perfectionistic.
Write Journals: You don’t know what your thoughts are until you write them down. Memory is unreliable; it is a subjective interpretation of what really happened. And the longer time passed, the more easy it is to twist your memory. To prevent imaginative regret, make journal entry regularly so when you doubt yourself in the future, you can always refer to the journal and check what exactly were going on in the past. This help you sympathize with your past.
Acceptance: Almost 90%+ of the outcomes in life have occurred because of your choices and character. In the future you are likely to repeat the way you have done things in the past anyway, so don’t spend your energy to regret the past, but focus on character growth and learning to make wiser choices now. No matter how imperfect you were, this was you. You have to accept yourself, knowing that you have been trying the best, with the resources and experiences that you had at the times.
I would like to start seasoning my life with joy and love rather than shame and regret, and the only way to really do that is to forgive myself and to move on. It sounds simple but it rarely is. But anything worth having is worth fighting for, and a right relationship with the Savior is definately worth fighting for. And a little less burden & a abundant life while living here on earth is an added benefit too ;-)
~Kristy~
The Diagnosis
I sat in the doctors office crying and feeling foolish as well as overwhelmed. For the past three days it took everything I could to get off the couch and do the very basics of life. I looked forward to nothing else than returning to the couch, I hurt everywhere and I wanted to cry but I feared the pain. I wish I could say it was the first time I felt like that but it wasn't. I happened more and more often over the last couple of months and I was beginning to believe that it was not normal to feel this way and it was more than "stress".
The doctor acted compassionate in the beginning, smiling kindly and giving me Kleenex to wipe my face. He told me my symptoms we common with something called Fibromyalgia.
I stared blankly at him for what seemed like forever. The other doctors I has seen had just written me off with a prescription for pain medicine and I honestly thought that I was just hooked on it. It was a total God thing that I got to see this particular doctor, the doctor I normally see was completely booked and he was the only one available. I was feeling so poorly I would have said yes to almost anyone!
"It is not fair that I feel so bad all the time to my kids and husband," I sobbed. We had been so much with Rods unemployment, the kids food allergies and now this?! " Its not fair to you." The doctor said kindly. "Your blood test are all normal except for your B-12 is less than half for someone your age, and your Red Blood Cell count is low. You meet the rest of the criteria for Fibromyalgia. So that is my official diagnosis."
I left his office with mixed emotions. Part of me was relieved and another part completely scared to death. With an official diagnosis, it was not just me. And if it was not just me then there was actually something wrong with me.
I came home pale as a ghost but I felt very hot & flustered. I told Rod what the doctor had said, and slowly began to recount what he had said. Rod asked me about prescriptions and this is where the compassionate doctor became a monster. He had given me a paper prescription and I dropped it off on the way home. Minutes into my conversation with Rod, the phone rang and it was the pharmacy, saying the doctor electronically sent my prescription somewhere else and the insurance was rejecting it because it was already filled. For the next 45 minutes, Rod and I called every pharmacy in the area. Finally we located the medication and an hour and a half later, my loving husband picked it up and I thought the confusion was over.
Later the next week, I called the doctors office to explain the confusion with the paper prescription and the electronic prescription. The doctor called back several hours later completely irate!! He yelled, ranted and raved how dare I attempt to fill two prescriptions?? All he did was listen, and attempt to help me and this was how I respected his position?? "There was obviously something more to the story," the doctor yelled into the phone " and I am cancelling all medication coming out of this office until I can figure out what your up too" his voice boomed over the phone. All I could do was cry, and I sobbed into the phone calling Rod trying to explain what has just occurred. My head throbbed and I was so overwhelmed. I thought I was doing the right thing by calling and trying to explain what was going on...
Rod tried to calm me down, but he was at work. He told me quickly to find another doctor and make an appointment and we would discuss the rest when he got home. I know he felt terrible with his quick response to my tears, but I understand and we need this job!!
Later that afternoon, I got myself together enough to make a couple of phone call and found a new doctor specializing in women's health and had a new appointment within 10 days. I felt a little better with this, it was just surviving until then...
The next couple days were painful both physically & emotionally. But through the grace of God I made it.
I seen a Nurse Practitioner, she was a female doctor, and she spent almost an hour and a half reviewing my medical history and talking treatment plans with me. I liked her. She spoke kindly to Konnor,and I walked out feeling like there was hope for me.
Until I made a follow up appointment and that is when she"needed" me to try this antidepressants.
I know & understand that these are a normal course of treatments for fibromyalgia. I had done some reading by then and was starting to understand a few things. But I was extremely uncomfortable with this. Reluctantly, I agreed but had severe side effects.
I made a 3rd appointment, now this time to review the medication and to talk about my newly developed sinus infection.
3 rounds of antibiotics, and 2 different antidepressants with severe side effects, and one month later I am still in alot of pain.
I put on a brave face, and smile but I hurt. Alot.
I am down, not out. My God is bigger than a diagnosis and once I can get the pain under control I will be able to think more clearly and come up with a plan that suites me!
Until then, I will pray (alot) and focus on God and His goodness. He has brought us through so much and I know now from where we have been that He has this and nothing happens without first sifting through his hands!!
~Kristy~
The doctor acted compassionate in the beginning, smiling kindly and giving me Kleenex to wipe my face. He told me my symptoms we common with something called Fibromyalgia.
I stared blankly at him for what seemed like forever. The other doctors I has seen had just written me off with a prescription for pain medicine and I honestly thought that I was just hooked on it. It was a total God thing that I got to see this particular doctor, the doctor I normally see was completely booked and he was the only one available. I was feeling so poorly I would have said yes to almost anyone!
"It is not fair that I feel so bad all the time to my kids and husband," I sobbed. We had been so much with Rods unemployment, the kids food allergies and now this?! " Its not fair to you." The doctor said kindly. "Your blood test are all normal except for your B-12 is less than half for someone your age, and your Red Blood Cell count is low. You meet the rest of the criteria for Fibromyalgia. So that is my official diagnosis."
I left his office with mixed emotions. Part of me was relieved and another part completely scared to death. With an official diagnosis, it was not just me. And if it was not just me then there was actually something wrong with me.
I came home pale as a ghost but I felt very hot & flustered. I told Rod what the doctor had said, and slowly began to recount what he had said. Rod asked me about prescriptions and this is where the compassionate doctor became a monster. He had given me a paper prescription and I dropped it off on the way home. Minutes into my conversation with Rod, the phone rang and it was the pharmacy, saying the doctor electronically sent my prescription somewhere else and the insurance was rejecting it because it was already filled. For the next 45 minutes, Rod and I called every pharmacy in the area. Finally we located the medication and an hour and a half later, my loving husband picked it up and I thought the confusion was over.
Later the next week, I called the doctors office to explain the confusion with the paper prescription and the electronic prescription. The doctor called back several hours later completely irate!! He yelled, ranted and raved how dare I attempt to fill two prescriptions?? All he did was listen, and attempt to help me and this was how I respected his position?? "There was obviously something more to the story," the doctor yelled into the phone " and I am cancelling all medication coming out of this office until I can figure out what your up too" his voice boomed over the phone. All I could do was cry, and I sobbed into the phone calling Rod trying to explain what has just occurred. My head throbbed and I was so overwhelmed. I thought I was doing the right thing by calling and trying to explain what was going on...
Rod tried to calm me down, but he was at work. He told me quickly to find another doctor and make an appointment and we would discuss the rest when he got home. I know he felt terrible with his quick response to my tears, but I understand and we need this job!!
Later that afternoon, I got myself together enough to make a couple of phone call and found a new doctor specializing in women's health and had a new appointment within 10 days. I felt a little better with this, it was just surviving until then...
The next couple days were painful both physically & emotionally. But through the grace of God I made it.
I seen a Nurse Practitioner, she was a female doctor, and she spent almost an hour and a half reviewing my medical history and talking treatment plans with me. I liked her. She spoke kindly to Konnor,and I walked out feeling like there was hope for me.
Until I made a follow up appointment and that is when she"needed" me to try this antidepressants.
I know & understand that these are a normal course of treatments for fibromyalgia. I had done some reading by then and was starting to understand a few things. But I was extremely uncomfortable with this. Reluctantly, I agreed but had severe side effects.
I made a 3rd appointment, now this time to review the medication and to talk about my newly developed sinus infection.
3 rounds of antibiotics, and 2 different antidepressants with severe side effects, and one month later I am still in alot of pain.
I put on a brave face, and smile but I hurt. Alot.
I am down, not out. My God is bigger than a diagnosis and once I can get the pain under control I will be able to think more clearly and come up with a plan that suites me!
Until then, I will pray (alot) and focus on God and His goodness. He has brought us through so much and I know now from where we have been that He has this and nothing happens without first sifting through his hands!!
~Kristy~
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Beyond Wednesday
This was written on 10/14/20012
The Wednesday of the "Everyone" Service was a supernatural-superspiritual day that will live of indefinately inside my heart and mind forever!Yet, life as we knew it continued on around us. As much as I would like for the world to stop for God, it does not.
Thursday morning, it was business as usual as we got Korbin up & ready for school. Afterward, Rod and I did our morning errands, and later we had lunch with Konnor. The only exception to this normal day was the suit & tie that my husband was dressed in at 2pm sharp standing hansomely in the doorway asking me, " So, how do I look?". His interview was set for 2:45, and it was only a 20 minute drive down the expressway. He could have easily left 15 minutes later but his nerves and excitment were getting the best of him. I straighted his tie and brushed the lint of the shoulders of his white dress shirt. "You look amazing," I told him. He really did! There was something about the look in his eyes that made his clothing choice seem almost invisbible compared to the look on his face. Yes, something was differant. Just like the night before, I could not place my finger on it.
Rod, Konnor and I prayed together and Korbin was noticably missing from our family prayer. It still seems weird to me somedays that he is in school all day. Rod kissed both of us and he was out the door with a whistle.
Thirty minutes later, Rods parents were standing in the living room prepared to watch the boys while I went to work myself.
Since Rod had to drive pass the store I work out, the plan was for him to stop in and let me know how his interview went on the way home. I was expecting him somewhere in the ball park of 3:30 or 4pm. He did not walk into the store until after 5pm! The interview lasted TWO HOURS!! Rod was beeming from ear to ear, and there was something about his attitude that I had not seen in a long time!
Confidence
I found myself holding my breath as our eye connected from the front door of the store. In his shirt & tie, he reminded me of a slightly older version of the man I dated almost 12 years ago.
His smile was so grand, it was infectious!
We talked while I worked, and if I was not wearing and apron & hat, it would have almost felt like a date.Rod just kept saying over and over again, " I just have a feeling.."
My soul was slightly troubled as I wanted to share in his joy, but I was skeptical. We had been there so many times where companies would encourage Rod to believe that he was the one, and never call back. I always told him when this happened that he did not want to work for a company where the HR department was dishonest from the get-go, but the fact remained that this time our backs were against the wall!
Unemployment was ending in less than two weeks, and although it was not alot, it was $742.00 that we depended on every two weeks to put food on the table. Although I was now working, the 20-30 hours I was alotted a week was not going to pay all the bills alone.
I knew God was not going to let us down. In the darkest hours over the last uncertain three and a half years, God was there.
That still small voice that lived inside my soul reminded me of the life verse I choose for myself, " Be anxious for nothing..let your request be made known unto God..and the peach of God that passes all understand will guard your heart.." Philippians 4:6-7.
Smiling through the fears as I had done so many times before, I kissed Rod good bye and he headed home to our boys as I finished my shift.
The night seemed to speed by and before I knew it, my relief was there for my 15 minute break. I got a quick snack & headed to the bench where so many team memeber sat when they did not wish to head upstairs. I reached inside my pants pocket to find my phone which was buzzing loudly as I attempted to dial Rods number, only to realize he was calling me.
"I got it! I got it! I got it!!," Rod said giddily, he was breatheless with excitement as he continued his story. " Jeff just called and I was at McDonalds with my parents and the boys when I stepped out of there to take the phone call."
All I could do was smile and cry!
How silly I was to doubt God would come through for us and still He chose to bless us anyway.
Rod continued to talk quickly with great excitment but I was still stuck at the beginning of the conversation: " I got it!"
For the last year and a half, I have been praying a for job for Rod. On the heals of his second consecutive lay-off after only an eight month temporary assignment as a break, I have been longing to hear those words, "I am going back to work".
Our nightmare was finally ending.
I called my BFF and my dad within seconds of hanging up with Rod, and then my pray partner Heather who screamed with excitment.
"Two jobs within two weeks," Heather yelled to her husband Keith. " Rod and Kristy both have jobs! Praise the Lord" and with those words praise the lord I lost it and could not quit crying happy tears for the rest of the night, even at work.
Praise the Lord, indeed!!
He had carried us, me specifically so many times. He kept food on our table, the lights on, a roof over our heads, clothes on our kids, gas in our car, and He spent people to speak love to us in a variety of ways of the last years. God had a planned for all of this and Sunday, we would see His plan come true as only God could turn something bad into something amazing!
Saturday we would celebrate Konnor's 3rd birthday. It is hard to believe our baby is turning 3!! We gave him a Toy Story Birthday Party, and I made the cake and decorations myself
 |
| {You can see the smile on Korb's face right after scoring. Ale, behind Korb heading to "Chest Bump" at the other end of the field} |
The end of several amazing, God-centered days was Sunday with the Baptism of Korbin. As a 4 year old, during family devotions in our apartment when I was pregnant with Konnor, Korbin gave his heart to Jesus. It was very sweet, Rod began to sing " I was sinking deep in sin.." Korbin began to cry. Rod asked him what was wrong? He said, "I do not wanna sink into sin" Through a series of scary and exciting questions, Korbin came to an understanding of what Jesus Christ did for him on the Cross of Calvary. Through prayer, Korb asked Jesus to forgive him of his sins and live in heart forever and be the leader of his life. It is a special moment that will live in my heart & life forever. We, along with Pastor Mike, thought it was best to have Korbin wait unti he was a bit older to be baptised. This year as a third grader, Korbin recorded his self written testimony at church on Friday with Pastor Don. Then Sunday morning Korbin particpated in belivers baptism.
It was cerainly an amazing Couple of Days in Our lives and it all began with the "Everyone" service! God is Good Folks!
 |
| {My little boy became an Man in Christ right here} It was cerainly an amazing Couple of Days in Our lives and it all began with the "Everyone" service! God is Good Folks! ~Kristy~
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)