Where to begin?!
There has been SO MUCH CHANGE in so little time here,it is hard to believe that is has only been one week!
I guess the best place to start is a week ago Wednesday. Our church is trying to change it up a bit on Wednesday nights and try some different things ( which is one of the reasons I love this church so much) to bring something new to the table for the steadfast Christan's who are there every week.
I know what your thinking, and I am totally going to blow your thoughts out of the water, I am not one of those Christan's. It started out that I began staying home on Wednesday because of the baby. Then school. Then sports. Then I had realized one day that I had not been in a Wednesday Night church service other than VBS, since the Praise-giving service last November!!
Two weeks ago, Rod said to me that he felt strongly that we were not in church as a family on Wednesday Night and that needed to change. With those simple words it did. The "Everyone" service was the first service our entire family was in a Wednesday night service together.
Let me explain the "Everyone" Service. In our church, on Wednesday night the teen-agers are in the gym with Fusion with Pastor Michael & Allie, age 4-12 are in the children's wing for Pioneer Club, The Babies &toddlers are in the Tot Spot, and the rest of the adults are in main church doing a bible study with one or all of the remaining 3 Pastors. I am not exactly sure who thought of the concept of the "everyone" service, but it is exactly what it's name describes. Everyone together in the main church, with the exception of the babies and toddlers.
This particular service was the first one we had held, so I personally was a little unsure what to expect. The service began as so many had before, with a Praise and Worship song lead by Pastor Don. Yet, the feeling was different. I couldn't then and still can't now put my finger on it. It was just different, alive maybe the best description I can come up with. Within the first few seconds of the first song, the hair on the nape of my neck stood to attention. My nostrils smelled a sweet fragrance, I had never smelled before and it was intoxicating! Every sense I had was alive with emotion! I often try not to look around during service because I have found before that the devil uses this against me, and takes my attention away from God and puts it on others. Yet, this time something caught my attention that caught me off guard..
I am use to seeing adults raising their hands to praise our God but when a 12 year old boy stood seats apart from his Dad, closed his eyes and reaching toward the Heavens, he reminded me of a younger version of the older man standing a few seats down also doing the same thing. My thoughts first went to the young boy was just imitating what he had seen his dad doing, but as I watched I was riveted by the sincerity of the boy. As he stretched his arms higher and higher attempting in his humanity to reach the heavens, he was mouthing something. At a glance, one may have thought he was singing but as I unashamedly stared I realized he was having a conversion. I can only assume it was God by the innocence of the boy and the tears streaming down his face.
In that moment, in my glorified imagination I was taken to a place where I could hear the songs of my church all around me but beyond that I could hear beyond that the angels chanting loud and continuous, "Holy! Holy! Holy" In the darkness of the church, the light of the souls of the ones around me were shining so bright, it was blinding! As I squinted to see beyond the light in the darkness around me, I could see the shadow of a figure of whom I can only described as blurry. Like when Konnor puts his greasy little fingers all over my glasses, I can see through them but everything is distorted and unfocused.
The figure moved throughout the building touching young and old, boys and girls, men and women. Some the figure hugged wrapping his arms around and others he gently touched their face wiping their tears. Some he stood next too and others still he seemed to gently pull them forward towards himself. As I wiped my tears aways, I felt the figure put his arms around me and hug tightly. He whispered something into my ear but with the music and the chanting, I could not hear what he was trying to tell me. I wanted to run after the figure to find out what he has said, but with my attempts to move a cold breathe filled the air and I could not move. My legs are arms felt like they had lead in them and my body was nothing more than a heart beat as it rang in my ears. My senses were on overload and something amazing was happening around me. I had never seen or felt anything like this before ever! I was fearful to breath or think beyond the moment because I did not want it too end, I had never felt such peace deep within my soul or such a presence of the Lord Almighty, in was incomprehensible what was taking place in this building the realm beyond what our physical bodies could see, feel, hear or touch. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that we had entered into the throne room of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I was deeply, deeply humbled for the opportunity to bow at the Masters feet. How at that moment I longed to be the women who washed Christ's feet with her tears and dry them with her hair. I felt like I could or would do anything just to be with Jesus just one more second!!
If the Pastor preached that service, I will never remember.
I wanted desperately to know what the figure has whispered in my ear! Even know as I write, I am just awestruck with the majesty that appeared in the Church that night. I pray right this moment within everything within me that Spirit returns to our humble church and fills us once again with His amazing brightness and allows us the privilege of serving at His feet if only for simply seconds that will be enough. Those second will carry me through until I can meet the Savior face to face upon that Golden Shore someday.
I am not sure if I ever stopped crying that night! My heart was forever changed as I opened my eyes to look around to see if the 12 year old boy was still worshipping and my heart lept with joy to see my boy now doing what that 12 year old and many boys and girls around the room also now doing, raising their hands to praise our God. Many children had both arms outstretched and their faces directed to receive the warmth of their Heavenly Fathers kiss upon their brow.
For the first time in many,many months I felt alive! Truly alive! I was aware of every sense I had and every hair on my arm forearm was standing attention for the Lord Our God.
I closed my eyes and face of those I loved flashed before me; my cousins, my friends Keith and Heather,Serena, my mentors Ed & Laura, Uncle Gary and Aunt Judy and several others as I heard an audible voice command me to "PRAY" and I obeyed. I did not have time to question who it was speaking or why this was occurring, my heart was too busy rejoicing.
My life changed forever in the blink of an eye, and I knew I would never, ever be the same again after tonight's service.
During communion, Rod lead Korbin and I, in addition to my Aunt and Uncle in pray. My heart lept again to see tears of sincerity stream down his face. There was a very dark time in Rod's life where he was not the person who was standing before me. I can only credit God for changing Rod's life and molding him into the husband, father and leader who was standing with us in that moment. I do not claim his perfection, but I know that daily he is putting away the old man and picking up the new man and allowing Christ to lead him and he does his best to lead us.
What Rod prayed for, I will never remember as I stared wipe-eyed again at the figure who moved around the room touching praying families. Stopping at each circle or line of people, hoovering over the prayer and his or her group. I thought the figure had left but somehow he seem larger now, and more willowy as if I could the prayers & worship of God's people were strengthening him and changing his color from a dark to a grayer. It could be the light shining from within the groups, like a beacon in the night, that made his color appear different or it could be the devil who was fighting for peoples heart and attention had admitted defeat and left because in the name of Jesus the devil has to flee.
As our family ended our prayer and headed back to our seats, the figure followed us and sat between Rod and Korbin. I wondered if they could see or feel him as I could, or if I was truly loosing my mind. I thought for a moment asking but then immediately stopped because I did not want to do what I often find myself doing in my humanity, trying to be Rod's Holy Spirit. The true and living Holy Spirit was in attendance that night and He did not need my help!!
The figure put his arm around my oldest child pulling him close just as he had done so many others and leaned in to whisper something in Rod's ear. Did he hear what I had missed?
The thought occurring loudly to me like a throbbing paper cut, was that's God point? He let's me be apart of His plan but allows Rod as our leader and head of our home to hear from Him directly? How silly I felt in that moment, I had been praying so hard for Rod to rise to be what I needed him to be but yet, I was not humbling myself enough to listen to what God was telling me Rod needed me to be!
With that Epiphany, the willowy figure looked at me with transparent eyes that could see deep into my soul and with that he disappeared, and the service was over.
On the way home I sat in the dark listening to the boys since from the backseat sing rather loudly, "oh! oh! oh-oh! The king is coming.." by the Newsboys and feeling the expressway beneath my feet in the car wondering if I should tell Rod all that I seen and felt in church that night or if I would just sound like a whack-a-doodle?
In the same moment I went to speak Rod said," That service was AMAZING! Things are changing! I just know it!" and I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.
Yes! Things had already changed and over lives were never going to be the same! I smiled and said, " I know, right?!"
I would tell him my story another night, as for now, I would let the Holy Spirit continue on His journey. I had a feeling that maybe He was not finished yet!
And He wasn't!
But that's entire another blog post!!
~Kristy~
**Look for another blog post in a few days entitled Beyond Wednesday to see what happened next**
