I have admittedly NOT been blogging because in all honesty, I am just not sure what to say?! I know right, ME?!
OK, well I know what to say but not sure how to say it in a kind way because in all honesty there is so much going on in my personal life that I would love to share with my faithful readers, to get it outta my head and onto (blogger) paper. But the path of heart ache and tragedy that would be left in its wake is typically things that are done too me, not by me. So, with that being said, for those people who have been checking my blog waiting for me to lambaste them..although you may deserve it. I am not going too! Its not my style. I will let God deal with you, as me for me, I am moving on!
Kinda anticlimactic isn't it?!
Not really!! It's just something a little birdy told me, " I have been forgiven, loved and shown lots of Mercy and Grace, so I have no reason not too..I can only show the same to others." With that statement in mind, it reminds me of a powerful sermon I heard once that said simply, " Forgiveness has nothing to do with the person or people you are forgiving. It has everything to do with you and God, and your relationship with Him". The speaker went on to say, that you as the forgiver do not need to continue to be beaten up, abused or torn down ( by yourself or others) but you do need to make the decision to forgive and move forward. Moving forward may be a day by day struggle but with God as your primary example as your most powerful source of forgiveness; you can in deed move forward. I remember sitting in this service like it was yesterday, the alter was packed as the speaker urged people to lay it on the alter and simply forgive as you were yet forgiven.
I feel a sense of freedom in forgiveness, the anger is moving out of my heart alot quicker now. I wish I could say the same for the hurt I feel. Through Christ, I know the hurt will eventually heal too. I pray now, that some good can come from the pain that I have felt over the past intense days, but really it has been years. Sigh.."What you have meant for evil against me, God has chosen for good"(Genesis 50:20). God has a way to bringing peoples true thoughts and feelings into the light, although it is my heart that is broken, maybe He knew I could handle it so that those persons or people maybe brought back into the right standing with God the Father. "We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother"(1 John 4:19-21).
Before you go patting me on the back, saying "Wow that's really great she can do that!". I ask you, please do not think that highly of me!! I did not share this with you to slyly point the finger at someone or to get accolades but to simply share by story of forgiveness. Like any story, it has a beginning, middle and an end. I am at the very beginning of mine. My heart is still aching, as I type because I want you to hear "my side" and see my view point and to agree that I was right. As I have typed and deleted many, many items. I am simply reminded that, forgiveness is not my story to tell. Forgiveness it the entire reason, that Jesus hung on the Cross between the Heaven and the Earth. To bare my transgressions, and yours. I am just a character in His story, and He uses my breath and life to write the pages. What He did for me, I can do in my vain humanity for others. Despite my pain and anguish to do so, because it is simple what He asks for me.
I pray that in someway, that has helped you to see that there is power in forgiveness and you hold it in your hand. Will you stand there with your fist tightly closed, or will you open it? The choice is yours!
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