School has officially started and fall is definitely in the air. We have all the windows open and we are sitting here watching college football. We do not get very many lazy Saturdays and I am thankful for the ones that we do get.
Rod & I took the boys to the park for a short while this morning before running some errands. We had nothing on the calendar today, the day was ours to do with what we pleased.
It has been a stressful week here with school starting on Tuesday, and I am not really feeling the best. I have battling a migraine (again) and there is something going on with my phantom gallbladder. It strange pain landed me in the hospital on Labor Day evening where they did CT scan, and checked for an enlarged liver, stones in the common bile duct and stones in the kidney. All came back negative, so they sent me home.
So, I have been drinking 3-4 one liter bottles of smart water a day to see if my electrolytes were out of balance because that is a common side effect of one my migraine medications or I am/was just dehydrated.
I really hate feeling poorly. It makes me feel like I am older in age than what I am plus no one really gets their best from me. I am just really wondering if its just the stress getting to me? Stress does horrible things to your mind and body, so I have to fine away to "distress"!
Let me update you on what's going on with Rod's job, He had 3 interviews within the same company on Friday. He originally sat down to interview for one, but the administrator kept telling him "You would be a good fit for.." and read him into the openings for those two positions as well. We are down to the end of Rod's unemployment, approximately 7 weeks left at this point. We do not know what God has planned for us but He has not left us without provision before, so we trust and worship while we wait.
Sometime ago I put my application in to work at our local Target. I finally got a call for an interview Monday at 10am. I am excited and nervous at the same time. It will be my first official interview in more than 9 years, and I am overwhelmed with how the details will come together with a sitter for Konnor, school and sports for Korbin and school for myself. If this is how God is choosing to help provide for our family, I will accept that but with this being Konnor's last year at home before he goes to preschool, it saddens me greatly to realize that I will not be spending more of it with him.
I often feel like Konnor has gotten the raw end of the deal from me. I returned to school when he was 10 months old, to try and help dig our family out of the hole we are in. He has spent alot of time with Rod, who is a great father, but it not mom. Which is what Korbin got; comprehensive teaching & play time with me. This is why he still does so well with school. Korbin & I had the best times playing trains and little people, we spent from the earliest months at the park until it was almost to cold to stop. I enjoyed Korbin's preschool ages immensely and as much as I am so thankful to have the opportunity to even have an interview, I spent most of Friday crying because in my heart it is not the right time for me to return to work.
There is a song that echo's in my head, " Trust and Obey, it is the very best way to show that you believe". So, I will trust God and step out in faith knowing that my heavenly Father will never leave me ( or my family) alone. Its just these decisions, are the part of adulthood, that truly stink!
If you would have told me when I got married that I would have been a stay-at-home- mom for more than eight years, I would have laughed until I cried! Now, the idea of returning to work when my youngest child is not in full time school, is gut wrenching.
Beyond that, Korbin is not having an easy adjustment to school this year. He has been over-tired and cranky. His teacher his kind and trusting but as a third grader he is overwhelmed at the amount of responsibility that is given to him after having a carefree summer. Equally, Konnor has been just as emotional because he is just not use to not having Korbin at school all day anymore.
It has been a very trying week.
I am looking forward to church tomorrow, and "recharging" my batteries.
God has a plan for our family, and I am praying for His leading.
~Kristy~
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