Dream Big, Push Hard..

This is from a friends blog this morning and it made an impact on my entire day!!

"Dream big, push hard – know that God can do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20), and you’ll see God change the trajectory of your life. And in those times, when you make a mistake or fail, keep you head up and know that your faith is spot on. However, your life is too short to make the same mistakes over and over – learn from your mistakes, correct them, dust yourself off, and get back on the right track."

The reality is..I have not been dreaming or pushing for a really long time! Since Rod was laid off in December of 2008, all of my dreams came screeching to a halt and began the act of surviving.Thus the continual feeling of drowning. I put me and all my needs/desires on the back burner to meet the needs of my family to get by. Even when I enrolled in school again, I just wanted to simply "get done" because we need me to get a job NOW!!

This is where I feel the need to stop and explain something..when Korbin was born, I had planned to return to work at the bank. Rod had told me since we had found out the Korb was coming, the he wanted me to stay home. Each time he said this, I would laugh! I was NOT the stay at home mother type. Geesh!! Well, with no baby sitter to speak of and with a new found desire to protect my infant son at all costs, I became the stay at home mom type! This is when Rod filled me in on his Divine plan: He prayed that God would change my mind and heart and that I would stay home with our child(ren) until he/ they were old enough to be in school all day. We had no idea that God would continue to answer Rod's prayer even in a time that our family desperately needed me to work. I did, however, have a less than part time job working with the elderly doing home care for approximately a year. I loved this job, and it reaffirmed my career field choice but because of the distances I had drive verses the few hours I was at each home, we were not making any money, so after Konnor was born and I had my gallbladder removed, I did not return.Since then, I have not been able to get a job anywhere, including the local golden arches despite my attempts!! I think I am the only person in America who has applied multiple times to fast food places only to be repeatedly turned down, ha ha!!

So now, I am in school full time while being a stay at home mom.

Since we were fighting so hard to simply survive, I stopped dreaming. About my goal weight. About vacations. About the future. About everything. I just simply prayed often that somehow in someway we would simply make it through this nightmare. When you stop dreaming, you stop pushing to succeed.

Through the course of the day, I realized because I stopped dreaming I let bitterness and jealousy set in. Which is hard to admit. When ever I would hear about a friend or even a friend of a friend who took a great vacation or did something amazing, I often found myself in the tailspin of a horrible depression. Then the self loathing began which ultimately lead too, you guessed it, an argument with Rod over something completely ridiculous!

So that act of stopping to believe in my dreams, was a very serious mistake!

In the month of December, I seen the hand of God in our lives in a way I had not seen in a very long time. I was astounded! And embarrassed..I had not lost faith in God. Or even questioned why He was allowing this to continue..I had honestly stopped caring. The situation is what it is and there is nothing I can do to change it. Right?

As the month began to unfold, and things began to change,and so did I! I felt..happy again. Hopeful even. And then just as I began to think maybe..MAYBE?! The month changed on the calender and so did the tide.It was back to business as usual..sigh! So where does this leave me, exactly??

Should I dare to dream? Should I dare to push? Should I PLAN for the future????

Well, Tommy's blog post answered that for me:  "Pray through it and fix it NOW!"

I will hold close this blog's theme verse and pray through it and wait for God "(to) do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)! So, as I dare to dream again and push hard for something amazing to happen, I look forward to sharing with you how God answers prayer and changes things.

Because no matter what; God is Good all the Time!!
~Kristy~

**If you would like to read all of Pastor Tommy Swindol's Blog post "What to do with Failure" http://www.fwb21.com/2012/01/18/what-to-do-with-failure/ check this out!!