Pity Party Table for One

"Curse God and Die" is what is recorded in the bible about Job's wife. We do not know what type of woman she was or if this was just  a response an extraordinarily bad day. After all, she had lost so much all her material possessions through various calamities. Her sons and daughters, also, were killed when a great tornado destroyed the house in which they were partying, she was watching her husbands health deteriorate and their friends had all left them. Now she was loosing faith too, she deserved to have a pity party, right?

It seems as of late, I really identify with Mrs. Job. I really like I (we) have lost so much- Rod's job, a various about of health issues with both myself, Rod and the boys, school and a host of other problems ranging from small to large.

On this particular day, Konnor was up at 1am. I sat on the couch in which a large spring promptly poked me in the rear. The transmission in our Ford which was just replaced in April of 2010, now has to be repaired again.Then a tire on our red car needed to be placed and I found this out on the way to get Rod from the repair shop where the Ford was. I in addition to this,the insurance that we have will not replace my broken tooth, they simply want to pull it and leave nothing in its place. Which is NOT gonna happen because it is a front, facial tooth. I will not be known as gap tooth sally ever again ( I long torturous story from elementary school where kids can be extremely cruel). So at Fridays end, I was staring at Rod asking myself in the conversation in my head when do I ask him the question of Job's wife.

I had originally started this post on Friday, but never seemed to get more than a moments peace to write more than the first paragraph. Every time I sit down to write lately, every person in this house needs some sort of attention from me. This time, I see why. This post would be drastically different, if I would have not attended church this morning. Konnor has an asthma cough and is simply being a booger in all facets. It would have been just as easy( and legitimately so) for me to stay home.

Today's message was walking your talk. The truth smacked me square in the face: I do not do it!! It hurt to realize as much. I am a sinner saved by Grace but His Grace has not stopped me from the pity party I often throw myself. Rod's joblessness has been a harsh reality chalked full of painful battles that I never would have imagined that we would have had to deal with. But yet, here we are and road to being more Christ- like is never easy. But for some reason, I thought because my childhood was more painful than most, I assumed that adulthood would be kind to be. Yet, this is not the plan God had for me. Instead of being encouraged that God has an amazing plan for me at the end of the painful road, I complain about the bumps and bruises I encore along the journey.

At the end of Job's journey  God chose to bless him double for never loosing faith.And after this morning message, I want to be more like Job instead of Mrs. Job.; never loosing fatith. For which I have no clue if God will bless Rod and I double, nor am I advocating that God has to "do something" for me because I never gave up on Him. I mean, He gave His ONLY son for me..isn't that enough?? What I am saying in this: somewhere in this little mess, I forgot how big I am blessed. I need to stop myself on the way to my pity party table and realize that this is this the stuff God uses!