What do you marvel at?

I woke up this morning after having an amazing dream.. Rod came home from work with a bunch of beautiful yellow and purple tulips, and we sat down to dinner to discuss our family vacation. Konnor did not get  up from the table and run down the hallway nor did he cry that dinner was not pizza. Then, I glanced at the calendar and notice that something was circled in red( which usually means a bill) and I mentioned it to Rod and he replies " Just pay it. There is money in the bank"  Life was back to normal. I remember feeling so thankful!! Then Konnor called for me, and I had to return to real life. As I put my feet on the floor I remember feeling so sad. I do not dream about touring Europe or winning the lotto or shopping on Rodeo Drive, I dream about things that so many people take for granted. The dream I thought life could be has turned into a nightmare and I am the girl who runs up the stairs to get away from the monster in the horror films that leaves the viewer asking "Why is she running up the stairs. There is no way out!" I feel as if there is no way out, alot.

I attempted to fight the emotional roller coaster that I have been on so many times in the last three years. Then I looked out the window over the sink. Across the street there is a beautiful tree with red buds covering its branches, just behind it is another tree with lime green, almond shaped leaves. This morning the dark clouds rolled behind the two trees, as the clouds threatened to rain. I marveled at the beautiful contrasting colors of the trees and the frowning of the dark clouds behind the happy trees. Then, a sliver of the sun broke through the clouds and it was almost as the weather was mimicking a frowning face attempting not to smile. Just then, the weather broke and God's majesty shown as the sun filled the entire sky even among the dark clouds.

It reminded my of Pastor Mikes message yesterday : Psalm 8 and"What do you marvel at?"

Psalm 8 talks about David praising God with wisdom and knowledge in a poetic reflection that expresses  the wonder of God's majestic and sublime nature. The structure of his peom set to music is in the beginning of praising Gods excellent name. The next is the praise of God from his children the the praise of God the creator of everything that ever was, is, and is to come. Finally ending again, with the praise of God's excellent name. This was an example of what David marveled at.

Pastor said something specific that I was reminded of as I watched nature preform out my window this morning; "Whatever is going on; God alone will get the Glory". Just as the clouds attempted to cover up the sun this morning, reflecting God's love smiling on us in our(my) darkest moments, the devil will do the same to cover up what God is trying to show us in our darkest times.

In  my honesty and humanity, I am so tired; emotionally and physically of being tried and tested that it feels as if I have been on a roller coaster without end for three years. But as I remember God's majesty, He has never truly failled me when I have needed Him the most. When He alone has been my only answer, He has shown up and given to me what I have needed at exactly the right time. It is those moments, I am holding fast too right now when my feelings are not matching up to what my faith is.

Someday, I will look back at these days and be thankful for what they have taught us and it will make paying those bills and going on those vactions so much sweeter!! And these days will be something that I will marvel at. "O Lord, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth"

 As I remember the trees, the clouds and the sun this morning I marvel again at how amazing and how great our God is. I pray that He reminds me of this picture that is etched in my mind for days and weeks to come. That Pastors question stays fresh within mymind and heart; What do you marvel at??