Reflections of a Wife, Mom & Weightloss Surgery Patient!

What you do and don't do to manage your life does not only affect you. It affects everyone around you!- Author Elizabeth George

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Tale of Terrible Tuesday's

I opened Facebook yesterday to see this quote posted from a friend, " If you want something you've never been, you have to do something you've never done".

Wow!!

I thought about this ALL DAY! Usually its scripture verses or song lyrics that get stuck in my head like this, and I write them on an index card & put them on the mirror. To read, reread and encourage me. I like to believe that it is God speaking to my heart because it is usually something pertaining to Him. The more I thought about this, the more I realized this had to go on the mirror!! And so it did ( pictured above)!

"Do something you've never done," seemed to nag at me. What is it you want me to do, Lord? I asked audibly which had my husband & kids looking at me weirdly! Today, fearfully I think I may know but still shutter at the thought of what this "do" may require!

The last 2 Tuesdays have brought immense heartache into my life, and so much more into the lives of others that my feelings are on overload! Two weeks ago, the first Tuesday, I received word that a young boy in my sons school lost his battle with brain cancer. Just a 4th grader! That is too young! He fought incredibly hard for 9 months and touched the hearts of thousands of people through his brave battle. He touched my heart, and that morning just as so many mornings before as I pulled by Relentless T-shirt over my head I prayed for Austin & his family. The Lord must have placed this dear family on my heart that day, their is no consciencedences with God. Next year, my boy will be a 4th grader, and not only did Austin touch my life with his amazing outlook on things and brave capacity to handle the challenge of cancer at such a young age, but his mom & dad forever changed me as a parent. I will never again take what I have with my boys for granted ever again!

Korbins elementary school did a "Life Strong" Day dedicated to Austin to encourage him to keep fighting!


One week ago Tuesday, the second Tuesday, just as I was beginning my day I learned that God had called one of the most influential, inspirational women in my life home to be with Jesus at 6 am that very morning. Taira fought with amazing zeal Triple Negative Breast Cancer, and lost her battle that very morning. Taira's sister-in-law, Karen, is one of my very best friends and this hit very close to home. Although Taira & her family lived in Tennessee, via Facebook, Taira encouraged me about my blogging on occasion and on a specific occasion someone offered to give her so much money towards her never ending medical bills if we did fun pictures in support of Taira's fight against Breast Cancer, so the boys & I did a couple photo's to help out. After posting the pictures, I asked my friend if there was anything I could do that day for her and her selfless response was, "Please pray for my husband & kids". She went on to give me a few specifics and this past week, I realized that this is a request I plan to honor in her memory for the rest of my life. I sat down to blog several times of the past week and couldn't with the painful realization that the blog that touched my heart and did so much for my walk with Christ, would no longer be written. I thought for certain that if God was going to heal anyone, it would be her!! At the end of the day, I will not question the will of the Father. His book says, "My ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts" and with that I know that He has a plan in mind, it hurts nonetheless  My friend Karen, mentioned on a specifically hard day that she was expected to see a blog about how amazing Heaven is!! As much as my heart hurts, it is so much more for her husband & kids. I know what its like to loose your mother w a y too early in life and I have seen what kind a pain it causes a husband to loose his best friend.

 My last fb message to this huge inspiration to me says it all: "I had really hoped, believed & prayed that if God was going to heal anyone it would be Taira.. I met Taira & her family many, many times throughout my life. But the memory that stands out the most is when Rob began preaching at **** Taira sang & played the piano. She had an amazing voice! I sat in the pew just behind her and their 3 kids one Sunday Night and I watched as she loved on them & disciplined them & have fun with them while never letting them be disrespectful or disruptive. This was my first encounter with this type of parenting. I KNEW I had to be a mom like that!! When Robs sermon was over, he came over to the red pew's and put his arms around his wife, and they looked at each other like no one else was there!! He whispered something & she laughed. They were magical to watch!! They imitated what I envisions my grandparents being like, before Jesus called him home. Much too early. Today, God called another amazing person home much too early!! Taira lost her battle with Cancer today and my heart is forever grateful for those moments, all those years ago, because without that I would not have known what time of mom to strive to be!! Through this horrible tragedy, Taira touched lives in amazing ways!!Although God had chose not to answer my prayers, He answered hers for healing because she now hurts no more. Through her cancer ministry &Taira living out her faith before other's this taught them about Jesus. Her Jesus. Other's she encouraged their faith. Taira allowed Jesus to work through her life, to help heal others of so much pain when she herself found no physical healing. Today, the Lord gave her a glorified body, with complete healing. Now, I pray for the healing of broken hearts that Taira leaves behind. She will be missed greatly!! Please pray for those closest to this brave women who hurts the most right now!! ".

If you want to read Taira's story click here.

This is one of the photo's we took to help with Taira's picture fundraiser


So, yesterday I was prepared for something painful to happen and it did not fail me. I say "prepared" but you never really are "prepared" for terrible things are you? Although yesterdays events were not as final as the two Tuesdays prior, it lead to that if we are not careful. I spent all day yesterday lamenting on the phone or emailing Korbins school district regarding his peanut allergy.

Let me say I simply detest being that parent. Ya know, the one that has to give her two sense about everything because nothing is done quite right. We had put into place a 504 plan our allergist suggested to avoid me being that parent. But despite our very diligent attempts, it did not work as we envisioned or hoped for. I feel that need to stop here and say I KNOW my son(s)  is not the only ones with food allergies, as someone so rudely pointed out. 1 in 13 kids have a food allergy. That's 2 in a 26 person classroom. In a grade of 48 students, that is FOUR! That is ALOT! But my boys are NOT their FOOD ALLERGIES! They are boys with food allergies. Their dad and I want to empower them to work past their eating restrictions and do the same things other kids enjoy and most often take for granted.

Food allergies are not something these kids have a choice in having. They are born with some level of allergen in their systems and it usually manifest is self in different ways at different times in each persons life. Some food allergies are severe, like Korbin's and some are less than, like Konnor. But anaphylaxis is nothing to mess with!! Yet choosing to abstain from peanuts. treenuts, eggs, dairy, and shell fish, soy and wheat (  these are the top allergies in this country) for a short period of time, IS a choice. And honestly, what I can not understand is that if it were your child or someone you loved, would you want people to have the same courtesy for you? OF COURSE  YOU WOULD!!

I feel as if I am constantly repeating myself to no avail. What it comes down to and it pains me greatly to bottom line it like this but its really life or death. I carry an epi pen with me everywhere I go. Actually 4 of them. Two for each boy. I carry Benadryl also. I know the quickest route to every local hospital and I am a nervous wreck before every function we attend because of the overwhelming possibilities of cross contamination. Nothing is safe! Yet, I must conquer this reoccurring fear and let my boys venture outside for the walls of my home and attempt to be normal.

I want them to experience everything they can because the people like Austin & Taira fought so hard just to live, why would I hide? That is why I continue to talk and be that parent. Living life to the fullest honor their memories the best way we can. Also, They are not their food allergies! Food allergies are apart of this life for us to deal with. It is by God's grace and mercy we deal with it one day at a time, one event at a time and I have to try & find away to trust that people do what they say that are going to do. It's true what they say, one bad apple spoils the whole bunch. Once one person betrays your trust in keeping your child safe, its hard to trust anyone in that capacity to do it again.

Back to the "doing".

This week on several local TV stations we have seen things about kids who are allergic to peanut finally eating them safely. On the way home from church Sunday, I asked Korb if they was a way out of your allergy no matter how hard it may be, would you want to try it. Its his allergy. We are teaching him to manage it, little by little.

His answer was an astounding, ABSOLUTLELY.

Peanut Desensitization is a new therapy that allows people with severe food allergies to began eating the food that they are allergic too microscopic bite by bite until larger quantities can be consumed safely. It takes months or possibly years to do this, and some allergist, like ours believe that this is a form of child abuse. Yet, it is a very real possibility. If you can afford it or if your insurance pays for it.

Today, I am left wondering if this is the thing that I need to do since it is something I have never done. Or at a certain point and time, would have ever even entertained. It is a HUGE risk!! Although you would be doing this in a very structured medical environment, there is always risk. We deal with huge risk every day just leaving the house. I pray daily, most days multiple times for God to cover my boys with a edge of protection that maybe tall and wide, and that no one nor nothing may enter in except for Him.

Is the risk worth it reward?

This Family said the risk WAS worth the reward.

What would you do?

~Kristy~






1 comment:

Charlotte said...

My allergist suggested I try this. I have not as of yet since my allergies (eggs and chicken) are also ife threatening but I have thought about this a lot. It has been done a lot in Europe with mixed results. He also suggested I do it in his office that is connected to a hospital so all medical resources are available to me if I should have terrible reaction. I am still on the fence but if your doctor does not think they will grow out of the peanut allergy, maybe it is worth the risk. I keep thinking how much easier my life would be if I did not have to check everything I eat before I eat it.