So it was no secret that when I got pregnant with Konnor I began a DWIT (do what ever it takes) diet to help him get the nutrition he needed. Where in I developed a certain affection for chicken nuggets...hmmmm, protien indeed!! However, the calories and fat grams where completely off the charts and this aided in my necessary weight gain.
Now that reality has set back in, I need to settle back into my high protien, low/no sugar, low fat/low carbohydrate life style that has aided me to loose all of this weight. To admit that I am scared is a mere understatement! What if I can not reclaim my eatting? What if I can not achieve my goal weight? What if.. What if.. What if????? I am plagued with what if's about my currently eatting situation and I feal as if the world is watching me to see if I can indeed do what I set out to do by meeting my goal weight of 179 pounds.
As I sat there at my sister's this evening, of course eatting her famous chip dip, I asked what would be the harm in maintain my currently 203 pound status instead of trimming the fat and continueing down my weight loss journey?After all, everyone says I look great and I feal pretty great so what would be the harm in staying where I am???
Her answer: Nothing! There would be no harm in staying where I am, it is a heck of alot less that 379 pounds! To hear her say what I have been thinking gave me a sense of relief. It also gave me a sense of purpose: I do not have loose any more weight since my weight is no long my identity. It is a number on a scale but does not define me. I am now free to be me: Kristy; Mommy, Wife of one husband, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, saved by grace and so much more but no longer my weight!! I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off of me!!
Yet, I felt challenged. I set a goal for myself and why shouldn't I achieve it?? I have never achieved a goal I have set for myself, and don't I deserve to achieve my dreams??? I never completed college or ran a marathon or become a photographer,or a published author or traveled around Europe, all dreams I had hope to bring into existence. In the same vain of comparisson, I have accomplished things that I did not know I wanted- to get married, to serve my mate with thoughtfulness and compassion, to have children and to stay at home with them, serve my Lord and Savior with passion and humility, to care of our aging population, and to become healthy.
So, I have choosen to finish what I have started for once and loose that last 24 pounds. After all, I have already lost 177 pounds, shouldn't I be able to loose a mere 24???? The answer is yes!! I have all the tools and knowledge and have already started down the path, not I just have to continue down the road. As today is Sunday, the day in which every new week begins for all bible based christains, I look to Monday as the beginning of the "work" week. What will I work on this week???
I will work on getting in at least 64oz's of water everday. I will take my vitamens and supplements everyday. I will eat my meals without drinking and will not drink for 15 minutes after eatting. I also will eat my protien first and will eat two bites of protien to evey one bite of complex carbohydrates on my plate. I will track my food in a journal and figure out how many calories/fat grams/ carbohydrates I am eatting and work on getting those in check for the following week. I will make it a commitment to get to the gym at least two times this week. Those are the things I would like to work on this week. These are all things I can control, and know that if I am to meet my big goal I must first start by meeting little ones.
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