We have a date!!!!

At 33 1/2 weeks we were given a date today for our repeat c-section: Tuesday, October 6th @ 8am. The moment was kind of surreal as I sat by while Denise; the ob/gyn nurse called the scheduling department at the hospital.

When I was pregnant with Korbin, the time in which he was to enter the world was completely out of our hands and we waited eagerly for my contractions to start or my water to break so we could head to the hospital. However, the time for our newest little blessing to enter the world is now a date on the calender. We wait, again, with eager anticipation although this time it feels alot different.As if we are waiting for Christmas to arrive, we will watch the calender days slip by, happily waiting for one of the two best presents we will ever receive.

Korbin's birth was filled with drama and anxiety, much like the pregnancy I had with him. This pregnancy, although dramatic at times, as been pretty text book and uneventful. Which is what I am praying his birth will be like, so even from the very moment of "Boomer's" arrival we can celebrate and bond together as a new family of four.

I am excited, nervous and overwhelmed! It seems as if we have been waiting for this forever, and now the days are rapidly approaching!! I stand in the door way of what will be "Boomer's" room and try to imagine me rocking him, or looking at him through the slot's in his crib. Yet, all I can see through my minds eye is those moment's that I experienced with Korbin.

For three long years, I prayed for this child and begged God to give us another child to share our lives with. Having Korbin was the scariest yet most amazing experience I had ever willingly participated in. I knew from the first single second I found out the he existed, that I loved him. That loved consumed my very being the moment I looked from his dark blue eyes after 72 hours of the worst pain I had ever felt to my husbands handsome face. For the second time in my life, I fell in love.

My love for this amazing gift began as I fell to my knee's on the bathroom floor as I looked into the toilet seeing it's red contense stare back at me knowing that the tests confirm that I was indeed almost 10 weeks pregnant. I prayed and cried and begged, again, God to spare his or her life. That I loved this child and wanted him or her unconditionally. God tested my resolve as I layed on the couch for weeks, painfully aware that there was nothing I could do other than to wait upon Him; the giver and taker of life.

As each day past, and with each visit I heard a heart beat or seen the tiny spine that God knitted together inside my womb on the video screen, I stopped holding my breath and started rejoicing. I was actually going to have another baby!!!!!!!!!!! My fear turned into joy, incredible joy, and my tears turned into laughter with the anticipation of giving my baby a baby brother or sister to grow up with. Although, I had convinced myself that "our" baby was a girl, I knew somewhere deep inside that we were having a boy and realized that as the ultrasound tech announced her proud findings. Then again, I knew I loved him.

Now, as his parents, Rod and I face great uncertainty of not know when Rod will have a job or how we will provide the very basic necessities so many other new or second time parents take for granted. It is very scary, and I find myself often facing my fear head on. Yet, I know somewhere deep inside that things will be ok, as I look around this room anticipating the love and amazement that I felt with Korbin re manifesting it's self within my soul telling me once again, I love this little person whom I have never met more than I could ever articulate.

We have a date to see who our new little miracle looks like, and what his personality will be, and to experience the joys of parenthood all over again! We have a date.... I can hardly wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!