When I was little my mom use to sing a song, whose refrain said " It's me again Lord. I have a prayer that needs an answer..." I have been singing that song alot to Konnor at night recently in light of our current situation.
Many post ago, I made a short list of things I needed the Lord to handle, since me in my humanity could not achieve success without His almighty help. The Lord mercifully answered each item on that list with the exception of one:"Rod needs a job that is close to home with good pay and good benefits so that I can stay home with the kids and finish my degree."
Today, we got a letter in the mail stating that Rod's unemployment benefits had been terminated. Which means that we do not have any money coming into the house at all! After Rod finished reading the letter that we had been dreading for a while now, since the senator from KY tried to stop the UIA benefits extension from passing the first time, sickness filled my entire system and I immediantly became ill. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW???
This week and been extremely stressful on both Rod and I as I did something to hurt my back and laid on the couch in pain for more than hald of the week leaving Rod to handle the care of the house and the kids. To add to the stress of needing to go to the doctor and being unable too, it seemed as if person after person was calling with good news about something that we ourselves are in desperate need of.
I couldn't see or understand why God was allowing this to happen?! We have been narrowing escaping day by day for months and months now and there are people that have only endured a fraction of what we have and thier prayers are being answered right and left. I felt alone. Frightened. Sad. Confused.
I began to question myself and everything I thought I believed in, I was dizzy with pain and questions. The harder I prayed, the less clarity I felt I had. What was going on???
By Friday, nothing situationally had changed but refused to give in too the victim mentality. I was letting the Devil get into my head, and I needed to get him out and fast!
So, I began to reread alot of my private journal entries and past blog posts. I can see how much God has does for us, and how we have so close to devestation and He has never left us nor forsaked us! His timing is always on time.. just like the house and provisions for the baby and Korbin's school clothes.
I want to believe that Monday morning, the phone is gonna ring and it is gonna be someone with an amazing job offer. But the reality is that may not happen, and I have to prepared that God may have other plans for us. But no matter what, He has never let us down!!!
Sometimes, you have to look backward to see where God has brought you to see where He is gonna take you. He has brought us so far, I can only imagine where a great and mighty God is going to take us through this journey; nothing is to great for Father God!
A friend sent me a Facebook post today of a simple verse and gives me great hope that God truly has a plan in all of this, we just have to wait for Him to reveal it to us.
~Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" ~
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