Reflections of a Wife, Mom & Weightloss Surgery Patient!

What you do and don't do to manage your life does not only affect you. It affects everyone around you!- Author Elizabeth George

Thursday, March 1, 2012

God is calling

I took some time away from FB last month, to Fast and Pray. I am not sure I did "it" right, I was so insistent about learning about the art of Fasting and Praying, I think I missed some of the importance. This is of course, is in true "Kristy" fashion! I read so many books about being a mother Korbins first year of life, I forgot to stop and book them into practice!!

I spent most of the morning debating what to do with the month I had just participated it. I was blessed beyond measure to be apart of my Bestie's first daughter being born on the 17th. I sat in the waiting room at the hospital with my friends three son's trying be patient, but that just was not working! Outwardly smiling at the boys, inwardly I began praying for each of them as their lives and home was going to change with the tiny wail of this little angel. I love these boys as much as one of their "mom's friends" could. I have watched them grow of the last several years, and they have been astounding examples to my sons and servants of the Almighty. I did not want to appear overly sappy in the moment, so I slid my sun glasses down to wipe my eyes as I thanked God again for my Bestie and her family yet again.

I prayed for many years for a "real friend". I had many people come and go from my life, not being able to withstand the pressure of being friends with me. I am a little neurotic at times and have alot of little quirks as well as a sense of humor that alot of people just simple do not understand. It appears that it has been easier for people to judge me and walk away than to find out why I am the way I am. My childhood best friend lives in Tennessee, and she has set the bar for all other friends extremely high. She has been there for me and with me in the most horrorific moments of my life, Pam is worth her weight in gold. Yet, Tennessee is not right down the street and both she and I need those people who do live just down the street to be there for us in our daily lives. Without these friends, day to day life is a bit lonely. So, when God chose to answer my prayer for a real friend, He gave me two!! My Bestie, S and my BBF, K!! I am eternally greatful to God for giving me these ladies!! Some people do not get any "real" friends to share in their lives and support them when things are falling apart. God gave me three!! This month, He reminded me how much these amazing friends mean to me!!

At first, breaking the FB addiction was hard. Then as hard as it was, all of a sudden it wasn't. I went to bed one night, missing the key strokes as my fingers went clickety clack checking in on friends and family alike. As I drifted into dreamland, I heard clearly, "Stop missing them and start missing me". And with that, I did.

It does not make sense, logically. How overnight you can start to yearn for something or someone that you did not realize that you missed in the first place. I found I missed the peace within my soul. I missed communicating with my husband instead of looking over the top of a laptop. I missed laughing and playing with my kids. I missed being ok with me. I missed talking to God, and listening for Him, and singing His praises randomly throughout the day. I missed God and His blessings and they were all right in front of me. I was missing it and it was right in front of my face!!

The reality was that I sat out this past month of Fasting and Praying for God to show me something that I had never seen before. I have been looking so hard for the reason that Rod is unemployed, what was God saying that I was not hearing? Now, I am left wondering if what He is saying what He has been saying all along, "Be still and Know I am God".

Still is simply not something I am good at. Remember me, slightly neurotic?! I am always busy doing something, thinking about something I should be doing or making a list of something I should be thinking about doing. So, when God is asking me to be still and I often asking "Are you sure God? But..."then I go on to list me excuses to do what ever I am doing. The reality is, often I am doing what is on my agenda for me but not what is on God's agenda for me and if I would be more still I think I would find out what God has for me today instead of what I have for me today.

As the day has progressed, I still do not have an answer as to what I should do with the past month, nor how I should proceed from here. But, the answer is clear..when God calls you have to answer! God is calling me to be more still, and put away my superwomen cape and "Be Still and Know that I am God".

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Never Underestimate the Power of Mom

When Eve was brought unto Adam, he became filled with the Holy Spirit, and gave her the most sanctified, the most glorious of appelations. He called her Eva, that is to say, the Mother of All. He did not style her wife, but simply mother,- mother of all living creatures. In this consists the glory and the most precious ornanment of women~ Martin Luther

The worth of a Mom
There are many occupations that a mother may hold over the course of a year, and if she were paid for each one of them Mom would be paid more than $507,000 per year!!
(Wow! What I could do with that!!)
-Animal Caretaker $17,500
-Excutive Chef $40,000
-Computer Systems Analyst $44,000
-Finacial Manager $39,000
-Food/Beverage Service Worker $20,000
-General Office Clerk $19,000
-Registered Nurse $35,000
-Management Analyst $41,000
-Childcare worker $13,000
-Housekeeper $9,000
-Psychologist $29,000
-Bus Driver $32,400
-Elementry School Prinicipal $58,600
-Dietrician/Nutritionist $41,600
-Property Manager $22,600
-Social Worker $30,000
-Recreation Worker $15,500

And these are just the salaries recorded not to include all of the other things that we do..the photographer, beautician, seemstress, and interior designer to name a few others. And if you work  outisde the home too..

Although the list is quite flattering, there are a few priceless things they left out:
-Kissing a boo-boo
-Fixing a favorite meal
-Birthday party's
-Hearing "Mom your the best"
-Love notes in lunch boxes
-Catching Rain drops
-Teaching them to walk, hear thier first work, go pee pee on the potty and walking them to school for the first time..the list of "priceless" is endless.

The list here far out ways the list that you would be paid for, don't ya think?
My life begans with Motherhood. I searched for a "calling" for many years, but I had no idea that it would be satisfied with the birth of this little person I had no idea what to do with.

Positive mom's tackles a couple of Mommy Myth's in the first chapter:
#1 Genetics & Peer Pressure influence Children Most
The bible talks about this in Deuteronomy 6:4-7
#2Motherhood causes woman to miss out on the excitement in life
Jesus tells us about the self sacrificing life that is motherhood in Matthew 10:39, that is exactly what happended to me, I found an abundant & full life through motherhood.
#3 Being a Mother is a waste of a woman's talents and abilities
Are you kidding me? I never knew all the things I could do with so little sleep, time or money until I became a mom!

Those are just a few things from my small group study, I wanted to pass along!! My mom is in Heaven and today, she still influences me everyday. Every decision she made for me; both good and bad, has propelled me into the mom I am today.

Thomas Edision said, " Her [his mom] firmness, her sweetness,her goodness were potent powers to heep me in the right path. My mother was the making of me"

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Happy "I love you" Day!


In 2008, Korbin was 3 on Valentine's Day. I was still recovering from my gastric bypass. He &I sat together watching Valentine's themes cartoons and one particular cartoon kept calling it, "I love you  Day". This was how "I love you Day" was born in our house.

Every year the celebration is different, but it remains that Valentines Day is now a family celebration about our love for one another instead of something Rod & I only get to participate in. This year, a friend has made some cupcakes for us. Under the glass enclosure of a dessert plate, this serves as the center piece of a heart covered plastic table cloth and red napkins stamped with my "I love you" stamp on them. Each place setting has a regular dinner plate topped with a heart shaped red plastic plate with a hersey kiss on it. Not very expensive but it set the tone for the love filled day in our house.




This year's dinner is my homemade spaghetti and meatballs and homemade bread. The house smells amazing, since the sauce has been simmering almost all day. The preparation began yesterday, and Rod has been salivating since then!! I love to cook for my 3 guys!! I even snuck some graded veggies into the meatballs successfully hiden from Konnor! And since the day began with blueberry muffins, I think he actually got in a full serving of fruits and vegtables today!





My homemade meatballs baking in the oven



The finished product complete with homemade sauce!!

We ended our night with some family time in the living room, just laughing and having fun. It was a really nice day, and "I love you" Day ended on a high note since Konnor slept from 8pm until 6am this morning!!!

As I snuggled next to Rod last night watching NCIS, I remember thinking in a dozey haze that this one of the better days we have had in awhile. Nothing about our circumstance changed but we choose to be content with what we had and that made all the difference.

Thank you Lord, for all the we have & all that we do not. May we continue to praise you in the good times and in the bad.Let us never take for granted each other. May the memories of today last in our hearts forever!


I am the luckiest mom in the world to be able to look into these little faces ever day!!

This is where the story of us began..with you! I love you, Rod!!






Monday, February 13, 2012

No books, No problem!!

Everything I do lately has a bump in the road.

The Devil is really fighting me about leading this Power of a Positive Mom's small group. At the end of the first meet & great session, Konnor tripped me and I landed face first in the hall way. I totally lost my temper and made him sit while he cried his eyes out there in the hallway. "Some positive mom you are ?Right!"

And now there is another bump in the road with ordering the books: shipping. Great price but takes f o r e v e r!! So, we are suppose to meet this week to go over chapter one..now what do we do?

Well, at the end of the chapers is talks about: Read. Pray.Do. So, let's start there!

Read: Read Romans 12
How do these verses encourage you as a mother?
Underline or Copy the significant verses. Chose one portion of the chaper to memorize.
(My hint: I write them on 3 seperate index cards. I post one on the fridge. One on the bathroom mirror & carry one in my pocket with me.)

Pray:
In the book, the Author writes out a Prayer. I want us to ask the Lord to make Romans 12 speak to us as we search how to become a positive mom..the author writes "Please help me to remember that my job is significant and eternally important. Help me to glorify you as I work, play, change diapers and make sandwiches each day." Wow!! I so need to do that!

Do:
On a large index card. Write out your job description as a mother. Be creative and include all your responsiblities (My hint:Write as it pertains to your role as a mother & yes, this inclues being a wife & if you work outside the home include that too!)
After you have done this, look up & write out colossions 3:17, use is as a constant reminder of your jobs significance and who your emlpoyer is.
We will discuss in group, how Colossions 3:17 impacted your description..would you change anything? Bring your index cards with you on Friday.

I am praying for each one of my small group ladies. As you know you are being lifted up in prayer, make it a goal to pray from another fellow mother this week. If you are not part of my small group but would still like me to pray for you, please let me know!! It is my sincerest privilage to pray for my friends and those I love!!

Please look for another small group post on Wednesday, we do not have our books yet but we are on our way to being a Positive Mom!!
~Kristy~

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Pity Party Table for One

"Curse God and Die" is what is recorded in the bible about Job's wife. We do not know what type of woman she was or if this was just  a response an extraordinarily bad day. After all, she had lost so much all her material possessions through various calamities. Her sons and daughters, also, were killed when a great tornado destroyed the house in which they were partying, she was watching her husbands health deteriorate and their friends had all left them. Now she was loosing faith too, she deserved to have a pity party, right?

It seems as of late, I really identify with Mrs. Job. I really like I (we) have lost so much- Rod's job, a various about of health issues with both myself, Rod and the boys, school and a host of other problems ranging from small to large.

On this particular day, Konnor was up at 1am. I sat on the couch in which a large spring promptly poked me in the rear. The transmission in our Ford which was just replaced in April of 2010, now has to be repaired again.Then a tire on our red car needed to be placed and I found this out on the way to get Rod from the repair shop where the Ford was. I in addition to this,the insurance that we have will not replace my broken tooth, they simply want to pull it and leave nothing in its place. Which is NOT gonna happen because it is a front, facial tooth. I will not be known as gap tooth sally ever again ( I long torturous story from elementary school where kids can be extremely cruel). So at Fridays end, I was staring at Rod asking myself in the conversation in my head when do I ask him the question of Job's wife.

I had originally started this post on Friday, but never seemed to get more than a moments peace to write more than the first paragraph. Every time I sit down to write lately, every person in this house needs some sort of attention from me. This time, I see why. This post would be drastically different, if I would have not attended church this morning. Konnor has an asthma cough and is simply being a booger in all facets. It would have been just as easy( and legitimately so) for me to stay home.

Today's message was walking your talk. The truth smacked me square in the face: I do not do it!! It hurt to realize as much. I am a sinner saved by Grace but His Grace has not stopped me from the pity party I often throw myself. Rod's joblessness has been a harsh reality chalked full of painful battles that I never would have imagined that we would have had to deal with. But yet, here we are and road to being more Christ- like is never easy. But for some reason, I thought because my childhood was more painful than most, I assumed that adulthood would be kind to be. Yet, this is not the plan God had for me. Instead of being encouraged that God has an amazing plan for me at the end of the painful road, I complain about the bumps and bruises I encore along the journey.

At the end of Job's journey  God chose to bless him double for never loosing faith.And after this morning message, I want to be more like Job instead of Mrs. Job.; never loosing fatith. For which I have no clue if God will bless Rod and I double, nor am I advocating that God has to "do something" for me because I never gave up on Him. I mean, He gave His ONLY son for me..isn't that enough?? What I am saying in this: somewhere in this little mess, I forgot how big I am blessed. I need to stop myself on the way to my pity party table and realize that this is this the stuff God uses!





Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Small Group

"This class is geared towards moms of kids 10 and under. Play Group /

Devotional time for moms & their kiddo’s. 45-minute play group for kids
while mom’s chat & do short devotion while answering mom’s need’s for a
play group & adult time."

This was the description in the Life Group book for the small group I am leading starting this Friday, Feb 3 starting at 10am. This week we are gonna begin to get to know each other and look at the book authored by Karol Ladd. I read this book as a first time mom, and it really helped me to look at the choice to be "just a mom" or a "Positive Mom". Since as a mom, you have the power to make or break your child(ren)s entire day, I wanted to get it right. Unfortunately, there are still alot of days I get it wrong, so when the opportunity to lead a small group kinda landed in my lap, I thought what a great way to refocus my motherhood and shift gears into the positive atmosphere. Plus, who doesn't like to take a road trip with their gal pals?! So what a trip to take, something that makes a REAL difference- the road being a positive mom!!

I am so excited to share with these ladies what God has spoken to me about, and to learn from them what God has done or is doing in their lives. I have never lead a small group and I am not sure exactly how all of this will go,especially since this small group is also a part play group. But what I do know, is that with God being the real leader of this group, we collectively can not go wrong since "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I will be also".

I am looking forward to Friday and if you need more information because you are in the area and would like to join us, please email me through my private email or comment below and I will get you the information you need.

Have a great evening friends, and may this be the beginning of a positive night for you as well!!
~Kristy~

Taking Control of my Focus

*This was orginally written on Monday, Jan 30,2011*

A couple of weeks ago now, Pastor Mike began talking about fasting. I listened intently as thought, " I should learn more about this" and had planned too but sometimes when you walk out the church doors, real life smacks you right in the face and I lost focus.

So, since tomorrow is the last day of January, now is as good as time as any. Right?
If you google fasting there are 3,500,000 results. Fasting is a way to regain focus, and you can choose to do this is many ways. You can do a full fast or a particial fast for a variety of days. Here are a couple of ways to get started...

Determine the reasons of your choice to fast

Since I am a type 2 Diabetic, I can not do a full fast(or absolute fast) so I will focus on the partical fast or you can give up an item & in it place put prayer and reflection on what God is speaking to you about.Giving up a  source Social Media, is a good example.

Determine the length of your fasting experience, whether this is for 1 meal, 1 day, 3 days or a week (Jesus fasted for a period of 40 days, but that is no sign that anyone else might do that). You may wish to try a shorter fast, and start slowly at first, if you have not previously fasted. Since I have never fasted, I will start with one day a week and and double it each day a week until the end of Feb. So, the first week will be one day. The second week, two days. The third week four days and the fourth week I will complete a full week. On these days, I will have no solid foods. Protein shakes and broths. I will also abstain from the computer from these days, with the exception of my on-line classes. I will not be on facebook or blogging these days unless the Lord directs me otherwise.

Hold the right motives. Note that fasting as a Christian means to humble thyself before Him. It is a way to Glorify our Lord. Keep these aspects in mind while you fast. Try to hold off any other reasons for fasting such as weight loss, etc. Center it around Jesus. If weight loss should occur, then that is just a side effect of taking control of your focus.

Pray before your fast. Pray, confessing every one of your sins, and inviting the Holy Spirit to lead your life. Let Jesus know you wish to know Him personally. Acknowledge that He has died on the cross for our sins and rose to Heaven 3 days later, freeing us from condemnation, and giving us His free gift of eternal life. Ask forgiveness from everyone you have hurt; ask forgiveness from God. Forgive those who have hurt you. I will be praying specifically for the healing of two friends who need a touch from the Masters Hand, also the direction of our church as we look for a new Youth Pastor. Together, Rod & I will be praying about his job and the direction of our family.

Things have been crazy out of control in the month of January, and I have definitely lost my focus and I look forward to putting my focus back where it belongs. I am looking forward to talking with God and connecting with Him again, I have missed our time together. It makes me sad to realize that I put those moments with my God on the back burner. But honestly, I do not know for what?!

I will still continue to blog during this month (with the expection of the day or days each week that I am abstaining from solid food) of fasting and of course there is also tweaking especially when this is your first fast, like mine. However, I will not be on FB or Email (I will return emails if sent but I will not be sending them. If I need to connect with someone, I will have to do it by phone or in-person. Ha ha! Imagine that?). A friend, Keith, set forth this challenge and I accepted because in recent days I have found that this things are really robbing me or time and/or joy. If I want to find my focus,it should make sense that I look for joy too?

Lastly, I do not tell you that I am fasting because I want some sort of applause or accolade. Since this is my first time ever doing so, I want to encourage others to realize that it can be done and share how God is using this in my life. Not every time I do this nor everything I encounter while doing this will I share. Fasting is a very private thing between you & your God. You are putting aside something important to you to reach out to Him and say that He is more important to you than whatever you gave up.

Thanks for following me and I step out in Faith and do something different! I am looking forward to what February holds!!

~Kristy~