This week-end was beautiful- 60ish on Friday and 73 on Saturday. So, we packed a few sandwiches and headed to the park ( with the rest of the city, apparently!). It was fun eating outside and I loved the fresh air, while it lasted.
After eating, Korbin took off running toward the play scape and began running, climbing and sliding until his little heart was content. Rod and I took our blanket to sit just at the edge of the play scape to watch Korbin while he played. It was a good time, until the air became clouded with the stale smell of smoke that took my breath away. I was content to wait out the horrid smell and it's owner, with out much complaining. I gave this gentlemen the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe he was an uncle of family friend that did not realize the impact he was having on the fifty something children there with his second hand smoke since he did not have kids himself. However, over the course of thirty minutes where he stood chain smoking by a tree throwing his remains on the same ground I was sitting on, I realized the three different little ones were calling this man Daddy!!
As a child, I had parent that was a three plus pack a day smoker. I know the effects of second hand smoke, and how it makes you feel and smell. My mom began smoking as a young teenager and smoked until the day she died at 43. As a result, I vowed to myself never, ever to begin smoking and it was one of the few promised I kept to myself.
Now as a parent, I am completely irritated at other parents who knowingly put their children's health in danger all because the can not walk away from the addiction. Today, we know more than we did 30+ years ago when my mom had kids, so there is the chance that my mom did not know the effects that we was leaving her children. Since my mom is not here to ask, I choose to believe that if she had, she would not have continued to smoke. Which is the question I have for this particular father, do you not love your kids enough to put down the smokes and walk away? What have they done to deserve be subjected to this day knowing danger each and everyday? More so, where do you get the money to support such an expensive habit?
I remember being 10 or 11 years old and writing my mom a letter asking her to please quit smoking. If she did, we could afford so many other things. Things that my friends were taking for granted: new clothes, money for groceries, or family vacations. But this particular letter was because I desperately wanted a new bedspread, one that did not have burn marks in it and smelled good. I did the math for my mom, how much she spent in a week, a month, and a year. Even then, I remember the number being astounding. I simply can not imagine what it would be today. As much as I remember writing the letter, I remember my mom's response. She cried. She told me the her cigarettes were the only thing that she got out of life and she would continue to smoke for as long as she wanted to and it was not up to me or anyone else to tell her to quit.
The reason I remember the scene so vividly is because I remember exactly how it made me feel; inadequate. That I was second best to an object, as a result I began a deep seeded hate for smoking and spoke of it often.
Through that particular moment that will live in my memory for ever, I realized one thing: She was right. It is not up to me or anyone else to tell anyone to quit smoking. The pure definition of parent is sacrifice, and nothing about sacrifice is easy or simple. As any adult person does what it required for one to become a parent, they are here by waiving their right to selfishness in the moment they conceive a child. Which also means putting aside what you want for the sake of your child's health and well being. Period.
And as I sat at the park, I remember thinking that is it not up to me or anyone else to tell another grown adult to quit smoking. They should just have the pure common sense to do so- if it was the drunk driver behind the wheel of a car coming straight for your child, you would call for justice. As a parent, I am seeking for a way to avoid the train wreck that smokers bring to our play grounds, restaurants and lives: if you are not willing to save your own child(ren) at least have the common sense to leave the cigarettes at home and not infect my child with your stupidity.
After eating, Korbin took off running toward the play scape and began running, climbing and sliding until his little heart was content. Rod and I took our blanket to sit just at the edge of the play scape to watch Korbin while he played. It was a good time, until the air became clouded with the stale smell of smoke that took my breath away. I was content to wait out the horrid smell and it's owner, with out much complaining. I gave this gentlemen the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe he was an uncle of family friend that did not realize the impact he was having on the fifty something children there with his second hand smoke since he did not have kids himself. However, over the course of thirty minutes where he stood chain smoking by a tree throwing his remains on the same ground I was sitting on, I realized the three different little ones were calling this man Daddy!!
As a child, I had parent that was a three plus pack a day smoker. I know the effects of second hand smoke, and how it makes you feel and smell. My mom began smoking as a young teenager and smoked until the day she died at 43. As a result, I vowed to myself never, ever to begin smoking and it was one of the few promised I kept to myself.
Now as a parent, I am completely irritated at other parents who knowingly put their children's health in danger all because the can not walk away from the addiction. Today, we know more than we did 30+ years ago when my mom had kids, so there is the chance that my mom did not know the effects that we was leaving her children. Since my mom is not here to ask, I choose to believe that if she had, she would not have continued to smoke. Which is the question I have for this particular father, do you not love your kids enough to put down the smokes and walk away? What have they done to deserve be subjected to this day knowing danger each and everyday? More so, where do you get the money to support such an expensive habit?
I remember being 10 or 11 years old and writing my mom a letter asking her to please quit smoking. If she did, we could afford so many other things. Things that my friends were taking for granted: new clothes, money for groceries, or family vacations. But this particular letter was because I desperately wanted a new bedspread, one that did not have burn marks in it and smelled good. I did the math for my mom, how much she spent in a week, a month, and a year. Even then, I remember the number being astounding. I simply can not imagine what it would be today. As much as I remember writing the letter, I remember my mom's response. She cried. She told me the her cigarettes were the only thing that she got out of life and she would continue to smoke for as long as she wanted to and it was not up to me or anyone else to tell her to quit.
The reason I remember the scene so vividly is because I remember exactly how it made me feel; inadequate. That I was second best to an object, as a result I began a deep seeded hate for smoking and spoke of it often.
Through that particular moment that will live in my memory for ever, I realized one thing: She was right. It is not up to me or anyone else to tell anyone to quit smoking. The pure definition of parent is sacrifice, and nothing about sacrifice is easy or simple. As any adult person does what it required for one to become a parent, they are here by waiving their right to selfishness in the moment they conceive a child. Which also means putting aside what you want for the sake of your child's health and well being. Period.
And as I sat at the park, I remember thinking that is it not up to me or anyone else to tell another grown adult to quit smoking. They should just have the pure common sense to do so- if it was the drunk driver behind the wheel of a car coming straight for your child, you would call for justice. As a parent, I am seeking for a way to avoid the train wreck that smokers bring to our play grounds, restaurants and lives: if you are not willing to save your own child(ren) at least have the common sense to leave the cigarettes at home and not infect my child with your stupidity.
