Praying for Joy!

My husband met his best friend, whom I will affectionately call "Fred" for the sake of privacy, in the 5 th grade. So, when we got married making Fred his best man, was an obvious choice. Three years later, when Fred met the love of his life, "Ethel", my husband was Fred's best man. In April, Fred & Ethel welcomed a beautiful little baby girl into the world, whom we will Joy.
Joy has been a happy baby, with beautiful brown hair and blue eyes that gives smiles away for a wink and thinks her daddy is her hero.
No one ever would have guessed that this beautiful, gift from God would be in the hospital fighting for her life. Thursday afternoon, Joy's dad, her hero took his daughter to the ER because he knew something "was not right" with his little girl. Several hours later, Joy was life flighted from one hospital to the local childrens' hospital two hours away because her blood count was unstable and there was a large mass protruding from her right side.
After several tests several days later, they have diagnosed Joy with a form of kidney cancer that is commonly found in children under the age of two. Her doctors believe that the cancer is just contained to the kidney area, and plan to remove her kidney and the tumor this week. However, last evening the results of another test revealed a spot on her liver. The doctors believe it is a tangled mass of cells because the tumor is pushing her organs and other insides into other places, but they want to rule out the cancer spreading prior to surgery.
It is hard to see Joy a once vibrate baby just laying in a hospital crib. It is even harder to see Fred and Ethel hurting for thier young daughter without an explaination why.
I am not telling you this, because I needed something else to blog about. I am telling you this because I believe in the power of prayer and my friends and thier child need all of the prayers that they can get right now. And honestly, it is all I know to for them!!
I would take this all away if I could. I would heal thier daughter from this awful disease. I would give them back thier peace of mind, and thier comfort that that they once had. I would do anything I could to help them wake up from this awful dream that has become thier life!! But all I can do if pray for them, remind them of God's sovernty in the midst of trails, and His grace. All I can do is be there for them during this time and ask God to heal Joy and return her to full health. All I can do is pray! Please, I am asking anyone who reads this: Please pray for my friends and God to heal and restore thier Joy !!!!!

New week, same stress!

Last weeks stresses seems to be carrying over into this week. Rod's gout is bothering him, and by the time I got home last night, his big toe was almost the size of his heal. Thank the Lord, that the Dr. refilled his prescription without requiring an appointment.But he is in a lot of pain until the medication begins to work. I am equally thankful that the Lord provided a sitter for Korbin, I felt very at ease leaving Korbin with Sarah last night. She has sat for him in the past, she is a Christan and she doesn't take his attitude but she is not on a power trip about her authority so she is not mean to him. I could breathe a sigh of relief, for half a second. I did not make any sales last night, and I realized that I missed my phone time for last week by 1.89!! So, something has to break soon.
I never realized that my reentry into the working world would be this stressful. Honestly, I am not sure I can make this work. I will give it ago, but I am not confident. Which is sad, because since I have lost a significant amount of weight, I have gained a lot of self confidence. However, this is uncharted waters for me and I am not as "natural" at it as I would like to be.
I am still praying the Rod's company will come through and provide and adquate raise. This would elevate some burden, I would still have to have a job until some of our past isssues are paid off, but I would know that there is an end in sight!!
It's not really that I have a problem working. It's that I feal that my primary job is to care for my child, husband and home and I am just not doing that to my satisfaction. I know that when Korbin stays up crying, that this is not an okey-dokey thing.
Ugh!! If I could put into words the thoughts and fealing that race through my being at this very moment: I am very grateful to God for giving my a chance to help my husband and our family dig our way out of this hole we are in. His provision is evident. I just have no peace in this position. I wish that I did?! I am thankful for Rod's job; with or without a raise. I am thankful for a qualified, loving sitter for Korbin. I am just concerned with where we are headed, the stress is knotting in my shoulders and I need to head to the gym for a run and relieve this stress and clear my head....

Saturday Surprise

Today was a long day for me as it began at 5:45 am when the alarm sounded. I hit it once, and woke up at 6am.When I jumped on the scale this morning, it said 233. So long to 2 more pounds. Then it was out the door at 6:40 to be at my home care job at 6:50, 10 minutes early because I needed to leave early to be at my new job at 9am. I worked there from 9-12:30, where I successfully avoided the temptations of the two boxes of donuts. However, I did not "make my week" with anymore sales. Disheartened, I headed home.
When I got home, I heard one very happy little boy yelling through the opened windows of our apartment "Mommy!Mommy!". It was then, that I was faced with a wonderful surprise: a made bed, folded laundry and a dishwasher emptied and refilled!!!
To some, that might not mean a lot, but to me it meant more than I could formulate into words at the time.I hope the smile on my face could say everything to my husband that I couldn't. As I recall the flood of emotion that I felt this morning, tears begin to well in my eyes.
Work is extremely overwhelming for me, and stressful. The manager at this company is known for just "recognizing" when people are not gonna work out and relieving them of their position without much warning. This is very nerve wracking to me because I am trying my best, but I have not even been there a full week yet, and I do not want to be one that randomly does not work out.So most of the morning I felt really inadequate, like Rod and Korbin were counting on me and I had let them down by not making a sale today and securing my position there for another day.
Yet, when I arrived home and seen that Rod had tended to some of my daily chores, I felt very respected. As if he does realize how hard I am working to take care of my self, our home, Korbin and his education, and now a part time job. I've got alot on my plate right now, and for Rod to help out without being asked or a list, that made my week!!! Then, when Michigan scored a touch down in the 4th quater against Miami and won the game 16 to 6...well that sweetened the deal!!!!!!!

Ding! Kristy's gotta Sale!!

Last night I went to work, a little more calm than I spent the day. God is good and when I prayed for Him to calm my nervous, He did just that. I spent my entire 3 1/2 hours on the phone, and only breaking once to use the restroom. Then, after 3/4 of the way through the night, God blessed me with a sale!! At first, I was not very excited because the lady wanted an invoice but later I was told that it counts toward my weekly goal. So then I got excited!! However, Rod's day was not as exciting as mine. In the companies Rah Rah meeting, they annouced another person was recieving the promotion that Rod was hoping would be offered to him. His ego was some what deflated when I arrived home at 9pm. My heart really went out to him and any happiness I felt towards success that evening was gone. I wanted to jump on top of the couch and yell into the phone of Rod's boss about how are he has worked and how deserving he is of this promotion and more. However, I sat there and listened to his heartache and heard something in his voice I had not heard in a long time, hope. He was not giving up and intended to fight for a high position within this company because he believed in it and wanted to be apart of thier long term visions and goals. This was not a typical Rod statement and my heart leap with pure joy as I could hear how the Lord was working in Rod.
I went to bed last night completely thankful for the days events, even if some of them came in unexpectant packages. The Lord is good and His provision is amazing!! I am not sure how He is gonna work things out here for us on the job front but He showed me tonight, He is in control and I trust Him, He has never failed me/us before!

The emotion of stress

I am so very, very, very tired!! The week began with Korbin being up most of the night with a fever, that lead into the first day of home school, which lead into the first day of my new job. I am extremely tired and very emotional. Wednesday nights are our church nights and instead of being in church with my family, I was in a call center being hung up on.All I could think of was "This is not where I am suppose to be!". I know that it is my job as a help mate to help my husband and if my husband believes that I need to work to bring more revenue into our home, then that is what I will do. But man-o-man, I never realized how draining, both emotionally and physically, and stressful it would be.And this is just day #2!!! I just keep praying that God will be merciful and grant our request for a raise/promotion for Rod during his review in the upcoming days.
Last night during my 6 hour shift, I got a brief introduction to the company who now writes my paychecks, then it was off to the phones. I was completely intimidated!! There is a minimum number of calls I need to make, a script I need to follow and a dollar amount I need to achieve each week. The pressure is on!! What if I can not preform up to their demands? My home care job does not require this type of stress at all, and reminds me more of my banking days. Which, for the record, were not fun and very hard core competitive for sales and customer service. The banking job of today is nothing like it was in the past and is no posh job.
I am off to night number two, and I will be on the phone with customers for 3 1/2 hours tonight in which I am praying that I can make a sale!! I am praying that God will calm my nerves and help me to be productive and help me to achieve my goals. My success or failure is completely depended upon the Lord, and I pray the He will equip me for what lies ahead.Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengths me". I am also praying that if it is His will that I stay at this position, that He will give me the wisdom to do all the things that I need to do in a day and the stamina to get it all done. I am praying that He will put quality, relyable sitters for Korbin in our path. More than anything I am praying that will reveal His will for my life, because I want to give Him honor & glory through my life and it's happenings and I am just confused how to be all things to all people!!

First Day Back to Work

Today is my first day at my "new" job. As you may recall, back in March, I started doing homecare one day a week. I love this job, but 2 hours a week was not getting us anywhere financially. I tried to talk to the person who does our scheduling, unfortunately, she does not have anything available for me to work in the hours I am available when Rod is home. So this left me to find something else where. Fortunately, my sisters company was hiring and the hours are right, so I applied and the offered my the position and I accepted. Today, is my first day and Rod's parents are coming down to watch Korbin while I head in for training at 2:30
I am slightly intimidated with the thought of going back to work a full 20 hours a week. I am enjoying the thought of a pay check but nervous that I will not be able to preform up to par. It has been 4 years next month that I have been in a office to work. I remember the stress, and I am not relishing in the idea of having this stress in my life again. I am currently stressed enough with getting Korbin's homeschooling off the ground and finding us a home to rent/buy in Oakland county. I am already wearing 52 hats, how many more can I wear without dropping something.
However, Rod and I have said that we we will revaluate things after christmas, and see if we are still in the need for me to work. Which is 3 months from now, and I am sure that I can handle three months of madness, if necessary. I love the thought of making my own money and fealing like a contributing member of our household. But at the same time, Korbin's child care for the 1 1/2 hours that over laps where I leave and Rod gets home, is up in the air. I am extremely picky who watchs my boy, so just not anyone will do. This is causing me alot of anxiety.
Plus, my sisters name is on the line. If I get in there and can't do things as well as she can, I might make her look bad. This is another source of stress for me. This is not just a group of kids hanging out in highschool and I am afraid she will make me look bad. This is someone's livelyhood we are talking about. She put her name and repuatation on the line for me, this is a very big deal in my family. It is one of the few things my dad stresses to us- your name & your word is all you have becareful who you give it too.
Needless to say, this morning has been kinda emotional for me. Especially when Korbin keeps asking me why I have to go to work, mommies aren't suppose to work. All I can say is that, "I wish that were true my darling, I wish that were true". But on the positive side, I have been very privilaged to stay home with him for this long. It has been amazing and something that alot of mothers do not get the chance to do. So, I guess this as a good of time as any to go back out into the work force?! Right?

First Day or Preschool

Today was Korbin's first day of Preschool at the Last Name Academy for (almost) 4- year old's enrollment of one. In August, I ordered the Hands on Homeschooling Curriculum and today we began a modified version of the first weeks activities.
After the Tiger game on Saturday, Korbin came down with a virus that leaves small sores on his throat and a tempature for 103/104. The doctor said it typically take 4-6 days to run it's course, and the reason no one in our house has been sleeping well since Saturday night. Last night was no exception as Korbin was up at 5:30 in the morning until Rod left for work at 7:30, then he fell asleep while listening to Patch the Pirate in his bedroom. He slept until 11 am, when I finally woke him up.
So, we began our school work at 12:30 after lunch and was done by 2:30 with everything. Things went pretty well, considering he was not fealing his best. Korbin did really well with recognizing his letter "A" and thier sounds, but got really discouraged with no being able to write them they way he wanted to. The work sheets have the lines for the Kids to trace, but Korbin kept telling me that his hand won't go where he wants it to!! Today we did our bible story and craft, an "A" work sheet, a coloring page and a dry erase book for math along with a puzzle. I think everything went pretty well today. We'll see how the rest of the week goes...........